One Step Closer - Unspeakable Acts Part 1
by MissjudyK
Summary: Adam's family heads to Nevada for a long summer vacation. He will face simple problems like fitting back into the family after some years apart, and the addition of new brother to Ben's household. But the trip takes a terror-filled turn when events happen that may send Adam's wife and children to the white picket-fenced cemetery on the Ponderosa.
1. Chapter 1

**A recap of the** ** _One Step Closer_** **series leading to this point:**

This series is set in the years after Adam left the Ponderosa. Adam returned to Boston to be with his grandfather, and marry the woman he'd fallen in love with during his college years and never forgotten. They have two children, AJ: Adam Junior (age 9) and Elizabeth (age 6).

Adam is a well-known, prosperous engineer in Boston, and his life changed drastically two years ago after he inherited a fortune and estate from the Boston family he'd become a part of during his student years. The patriarch, Frank Wadsworth had loved Adam and his family so much that he'd named him as an equal heir in his will. In the story leading to this one, the entire Wadsworth family perished in a shipwreck, leaving Adam with an empire.

Adam now heads Wadsworth Enterprises, the business he revitalized when he became the leading expert in harbor engineering. He teaches seminars in the engineering program at Harvard, and hosts student interns at his firm. His wife wrote and published her own series of scholastic materials. After moving to the estate they inherited, she turned their old house into a school for underprivileged children, using her teaching model.

Abel Stoddard has had active roles in the previous stories, but is only mentioned in this.

I've moved Adam far away from his father and brothers, but I always include all the Cartwrights in these stories. This episode is set on the Ponderosa, and will reference a canon character from Adam's past. In a side story, (Reunions) I sent Adam to San Francisco to perform with a classical guitar group. He was stunned when an unexpected visitor came backstage. It was Ruth Halversen from, _The Savage_. She tells Adam that she'd left the Shoshone after a short time, and had worked at finding Ruth Halversen again. When Adam and Ruth recalled their time together, they realized that they'd both known was that what had seemed perfect on that mountain wouldn't have lasted if they'd left it together. She'd also told him that her father hadn't died as she'd thought, and she'd reunited with him. When she found out that Adam's wife worked in publishing, she requested that he ask Melinda for an honest opinion on a book Ruth had written about her life. That book plays an important part in this story.

This is set in the early 1870's, which means that Ben has added another member to the family. Jamie will be a part of this. You don't have to read any of the other stories to enjoy this one. Thank you.

As we begin, Adam and his family are in a fully decked-out Pullman rail car that was part of inheritance, and headed west for a month-long vacation on the Ponderosa…

 **One step closer – Unspeakable Acts**

 **Part One – Going Home**

Adam sat on the fold-down bunk of the Pullman car and pulled his daughter closer to finish buttoning the back of her dress. "Where's your hairbrush, Lizzy?" he asked the squirming six-year-old.

"I already brushed my hair, Daddy!" Her reply was given with a frustrated eye roll as she turned toward her father.

"The front looks very nice, Princess, but the back looks like a little mouse has a nest in it."

The child giggled and handed her father the implement he'd asked for. "I can't see the back of my head, so I forget it's there."

Melinda was helping their son AJ tame his wavy mop of hair as well, and sent her husband an eye roll similar to her daughter's, along with a knowing grin.

"Why can't I just have braids, Daddy? All the girls at school have them."

Melinda finished with AJ and came over to assist with the tangles. "Your hair is long enough to braid," she said thoughtfully, pulling on the ends of several strands to check the length. Making a part down the back of Elizabeth's hair, she gathered one side and began plaiting. "What do you think?" she asked her husband while holding the ends together. "Please bring the hand mirror, AJ, and we'll let your sister take a look."

Adam stood to examine the child from several angles. "You look very cute, Princess Elizabeth." He directed his next thought to his wife as he winked. "Do we have anything to fasten them? Or do you plan to walk behind her holding them all day?"

"Do we, Mommy?" Lizzy asked as she looked at herself in the mirror. "I like my hair squished together like that."

"I'll cut some ribbons in half…later. Wear it down and pinned back like you normally do today. I'll dampen your hair tomorrow before doing the braids, and that will help them stay in place."

"I want to have them when I see Grampa Ben." The little girl giggled. "I'll go in the house first, and he won't even know it's me!"

Adam had gone to gather lesson supplies for his children, but looked back at his daughter after her comment. It was improbable that his father wouldn't recognize his granddaughter, even in a room full of six-year-old girls. The little girl with the curly mane of hair had her namesake's eyes, her father's hair, and her mother's smile. She was a Hayworth-Stoddard-Cartwright from the top of her head to her toes. And with Lizzy's hair tamed into braids, she'd look even more like her grandmother Elizabeth. Adam was pretty sure his son was also a dead-ringer for him when he'd been nine. He too had had wavy hair, was tall and lean…and quietly studious of everything around him. Melinda had often laughed that she'd done all the work in giving birth to children who looked exactly like their father.

Other thoughts ran quickly through Adam's mind as he waited for his children to be ready for their daily assignments. This trip west for his family had been planned for over two years. They'd meant to come sooner, but the death of the Wadsworth family and becoming the sole heirs to their estate had brought a number of issues and opportunities to handle before they'd been able to absent themselves for a long visit.

AJ and Elizabeth had become very close to their grandfather and uncles when the trio had come East to help after the Wadsworth tragedy. The intervening years had left the children anxious to see everyone again, and they'd been excited to take the long trip in the furnished railcar. The wait had been interminable in some ways, while flying by in others, and he was thankful to be on the way…home.

Adam smiled as he thought about his children seeing the land where he'd grown up and the house he'd lived in for so many years as an adult. The smile grew as he thought about seeing his father and brothers again, and he knew they were just as excited. Hoss had written nearly every week for the last few months, telling of the horses he'd prepared for them and all the places he wanted to take the youngens".

These thoughts burst like a bubble, dropping him back into the activities of the railcar as he felt a pull on the pocket of his robe.

"Do we have to go to that other car, Daddy?" Elizabeth's pout seemed to encompass her entire face as she stared up at her father. "It's summer so we don't need to do no school lessons."

"Judging by the grammar you just used, it's apparent that you do." Adam handed each child a set of the materials he'd assembled. "Besides, this will be fun. Our train is traveling through Nebraska and Wyoming today, and will follow a route similar to the one used by those who pioneered the West. You might even know some people who did that."

When Lizzy's pout turned into a wide-eyed expression of cluelessness, AJ came over and nudged her shoulder. "Dad's talking about himself, Grandpa, and Uncle Hoss. They came this way with the wagon train." The boy's serious look took on a mischievous grin as he continued, "And it was uphill all the way. Dad had to walk alongside the wagon most of the time…barefoot, and it either rained the whole time, or it was hot and miserable the whole time…depending on which version of the story he tells us."

"Both versions are completely true." He winked at his son. "And when I went back East for school with a supply train, it was uphill in that direction too and the weather was just as bad." Adam took his children by the shoulders as he led them to the door. "AJ has a book with a map of the Oregon Trail, so for today's lesson, I want you to locate any towns the train passes that you see on the map. This is an express train, so it won't stop often, but you'll see the names of the cities on signs next to the tracks. I'd also like you to draw a picture of something that interests you and be prepared to explain what drew your attention to it."

"Will we _see_ a wagon train, Daddy?" Lizzy asked

"Most people take trains now," AJ answered, but then looked up at his father. "Don't they, Dad? Trains can make the trip in a week or two compared to the months it took you to cross the country."

"You make a good point, son, but not everyone can afford to move their possessions by train. And the tracks don't get people close enough to where they'll be homesteading, so they'd still have to get a wagon and team. Wagon trains will serve a purpose for a number of years yet." He cupped his daughter's chin. "You might see a wagon out there, especially as we pass through towns. I'm sure it's still a long and treacherous trip. Yet the routes are better-traveled now, and there are places to stop for supplies and a break from the rigors of the trip. When Grandpa, Hoss and I traveled, the only time we got to see others was at cavalry outposts. "

"How long do we have to stay in the other car?" Lizzy's pout had returned.

"Your mother and I need to get dressed and do a little work ourselves. You two like our porter, Martin. He's promised to point out interesting things, and we'll be getting off the train for lunch at Grand Rapids. Martin said we'll be there by noon, and that's less than two hours. After lunch we'll do things together again."

Melinda came to kiss her children goodbye and made sure they got safely to the next car forward. "Be good, and make sure you have Martin help if you need to come back. I don't want you crossing that gap alone."

Their Pullman was always placed near the end of the line of cars so it could be easily transferred from one train to the next. It was one car ahead of the caboose for this straight leg between Omaha and Reno, where the family would disembark to catch a stage to Virginia City. Their Pullman would continue on to the coast without its occupants, and then sit on a side track in San Francisco for a month until the trip home.

The longest part of the journey had been the section between Boston and the Mississippi River, due to the frequent transfer of their car between carriers and tracks in the eastern states. With the car having to ride ahead of the caboose, one innovation Frank Wadsworth had added was an exterior catwalk along the side where there was only one window. The train crew appreciated not having to disturb the occupants of the private car or needing to climb over the top. Frank had also added a shutter on the interior window for privacy.

With AJ and Elizabeth safely transferred, Melinda leaned back against the door and smiled at her husband. "Alone at last," she purred.

"Oh, yeah." Adam began to breathe faster as he thought about what was to come. "I love those two with all my heart, but one can only play so many games of checkers, chess, dominoes, and cards, before the need for a little adult time becomes a necessity."

"Don't forget playing dolls," Melinda added. "Lizzy would rather play dolls with you, and," she giggled, "that's just fine with me. You are so cute when you speak in that falsetto as Miss Wendy."

"Cute? You call me, a most virile representative of manhood, cute? Lock that door, close the shutter, and then come over here and say that to my face."

After taking the steps to ensure their privacy, she walked over to her husband, and stood tightly against him. "You talk tough, mister. Let's see what you've got to back it up." She pulled the end of the bow holding his robe together, slipped his pajamas pants to the floor, and pushed him back onto their bed in one continuous movement. The train jerked, causing Melinda to fall on top of him.

"What a brazen woman you are!" He laughed as he rolled over and slipped his hand under her camisole. "I never tire of touching you, and never stop wanting you. I have waited for this moment the entire trip, so we better make the most of our minutes alone."

Melinda and Adam had been lulled to sleep by the gentle sway of the car and rhythmic clack of the wheels after they'd made love. A knock on the door made them both jump and grab for their robes. They turned to each other and laughed after hearing the porter shout that they were about 20 minutes from their stop.

Adam observed his wife's tousled hair. "Maybe mommy's going to be wearing her hair in braids today. I doubt you'll have enough time to get it put up like you usually do."

"And wouldn't I be cute," Melinda returned with a poke to his stomach. "You're just lucky you have a beard now instead of needing to shave or we'd be in Nevada before you were ready."

"Ain't that the truth, my love." He ran his fingers through the short cropped beard he'd had for over a year. It was dark except for two mirrored patches of white on either side of his chin. "The best thing about it is that it cuts my grooming time to nothing except when I trim it."

Melinda used the bottom of his beard to pull him close for a kiss. "No, the 'best' thing about it is that makes a good handle." She kissed him again before jumping up from the bed. "And you're just lucky that your daughter bore with you through the early phase of your grand experiment until your beard softened enough for her to hug you again."

Adam chuckled. "For a while I thought she might sneak in with a scissors while I was sleeping and cut it off. Now she likes to pet it." He moved to the built-in drawers and pulled out a clean shirt. "Sometimes I think she expects that I'll purr like the barn cats when she does that."

By the time the train began to slow, the fully dressed and coifed Cartwright parents had gathered their children and were waiting by the door for a quick exit. Instead of wearing her hair up, Melinda had pinned it away from her face at the sides and let it flow down her back as she had done when she was younger. Adam leaned over and whispered in her ear. "You look beautiful with your hair that way." He squeezed her gloved hand as he bent to her again. "But then there's never been a time when you haven't looked beautiful, and your hairdo reminds me of why we were short on time."

She touched his cheek, and smiled knowingly.

 **Two**

While the Cartwrights were at lunch, Martin oversaw a cleaning crew from the station in bringing the Pullman to order. Adam returned as they finished and handed each member of the crew a substantial tip for their efforts, with the largest going to the porter, along with thanks for keeping a watchful eye on the children earlier.

"It is my pleasure sir," the older man replied as he removed his hat and stuck the folding cash inside the sweatband. "Your children are respectful and interested. We don't get many cars like yours, but when we do, the people in them aren't usually so…"

Adam grinned. "I understand, Martin. The use of this car is an unexpected blessing for us, and a comfortable way to travel long distances. But we will never allow 'things' to define who we are or how we treat others."

Martin nodded. "I can tell that, Mr. Cartwright."

"Thank you." Adam pointed to the porter's hat. "We used to keep some cash in the sweatband of our hat when we first went to the docks in San Francisco. Pickpockets couldn't grab our hat as easily as they could slip a hand in our pocket. Is there a problem with theft on the train?"

"Not on the express. But be careful at the stations. Thieves will make their way through the rush of people exiting the cars and walk off with the wallets and jewelry of their unsuspecting prey. The railroad is aware of it, and we watch for bystanders who seem to be in the way as passengers disembark. We even know a lot of these thieves by sight, but they're always training replacements." Martin chuckled. "For me, keeping cash in my hat is more a habit from when I worked those same docks you just mentioned."

"I've learned to keep my valuables in an interior, buttoned coat pocket when I travel."

"That's smart Mr. Cartwright." Martin gestured toward the window. "Mrs. Cartwright and the children are back now. If you need anything just step into the forward car and ask. I'll arrange for your table in the dining car tonight."

"Thank you again, Martin. Please let me know when we're nearing North Platte. I'll have telegrams to send from there. How long is that stop?"

"Just 20-minutes. But long enough to send wires and get the children out to stretch their legs."

When the train was on its way again, Adam called AJ and Elizabeth to the table and reviewed their work from earlier. His son's work was neat and organized with a precise drawing of a log cabin he'd seen in a town they'd passed.

"What interested you about this?" Adam asked while scanning the notes the boy had written.

"Isn't Grandpa's house a log cabin? I was thinking it might look like the one I saw, only a little bigger.

Adam chuckled. "When we first settled in the West, Grandpa, Hoss, and I lived in a cabin that was smaller than the one you drew. That was only for a year or two, and then we had a frame house. While I was in Boston for school, Grandpa Ben built the one they still live in. Pa and I designed it with squared timbers instead of logs. Timbers are thick enough to help keep the house cool in the summer and warm during winter, but they can all be cut to shape, and sized for architectural detail." He was going to continue with the description but then smiled. "You'll see what I mean when we get there."

Father and son continued to discuss the other things the boy had seen until Lizzy's sighs got too loud to ignore. Adam looked at his daughter's drawing of a heavy black circle with an oval next to it, and suppressed a smile. "This is…interesting, and done with a lot of zeal, but I'm not sure what it is."

"It's a rock," she said proudly. "With a squirrel next to it."

"I see." Adam knew that his daughter wasn't an artist. She was a storyteller, and he was anxious to hear the yarn she would spin. "Why did you choose those things?"

Melinda had been stowing some fruit they'd bought for an afternoon snack, but on hearing the invitation to her daughter, she hurried over to stand behind her husband, placing her hand on his shoulders. He glanced up to wink at her and laid his hand atop hers as the story began.

"I saw a girl playing outside the cabin that AJ drew. She had some bread and I think she was gonna feed that squirrel. That furry critter came up to her and sat up like it was begging." She stopped to look up at her parents. "Like that dog our groom trained at our stable. It was a smart squirrel."

"A very smart squirrel, indeed," Melinda agreed.

Lizzy frowned and shook her head. "But when the girl held out the bread, it bit her!"

"No!" Adam cried in mock surprise. "That squirrel bit the girl?"

She nodded. "It did, and blood was gushing from her finger."

"What happened then?" Melinda asked as she squeezed her husband's shoulder.

"Her mommy came outside and she put a bandage on it. Then she yelled, 'You bad squirrel. Go sit by that big rock for a while until you learn some manners'."1

Adam had to pinch his lips together to keep from laughing and was finally able to ask, "So what happened to that bad squirrel?"

The little girl shrugged. "I don't know. The train kept on going so I couldn't see, but I think he probly apologized and ate the bread later."

"I bet that's just what happened." Melinda gave each child a kiss on their head along with a hug. "You two did a fine job with that assignment. Now I think your daddy has something to tell you about the area of the country we're passing."

Adam walked over to the windows and motioned for the children to follow. He opened the book of maps they'd used earlier. "I know you both love your Uncle Hoss. He was born very close to where we are right now." He indicated the area on the map of Nebraska. His mother died shortly after that, and she's buried near the town of Ash Hollow. Here," he pointed again, "between North Platte and Cheyenne. I'll remind you when we get closer. But since we'll pass there around the time we'll be having dinner, I think it would be nice if we all took a minute to remember his mother, Inger, now, and think about what a wonderful gift she gave us in your uncle."

"Did Uncle Hoss said she died in a fight with Indians," AJ asked in a questioning tone.

"She was helping the men protect us. Her death made everyone very sad, but knowing her made us all a little better and braver."

"You and Grandpa should write a book about that trip, Dad," AJ stated with conviction.

Adam reached over to tousle the boy's hair. "Our story isn't so different from all the other stories of people who went west. They all did the best they could to survive the journey to a better life. The Cartwright's dream became a profitable reality, but it came with loss and plenty of hard work. That's always true of life."

After a couple hours of playing games, the family was able to get outside at North Platte. AJ and Elizabeth ran the length of the train trying to catch each other, while Adam went to send telegrams and Melinda managed to look around the small store attached to the depot. The Cartwrights didn't believe in bribing their children, but they'd been so good, considering the confined space and long hours of being unable to move freely, that she tried to get them a small surprise or souvenir whenever she could.

The beds in the Pullman had been readied while the family had eaten in the dining car toward the front of the train. The worn out youngsters were soon sleeping soundly, giving Adam and Melinda time to work on their own projects. One addition Adam had made prior to the trip was a folding wooden partition between the two sleeping areas, allowing them to keep lights burning and have quiet conversations without disturbing their children.

When Adam looked up after reading an article in a professional journal, he saw Melinda frowning. "What's wrong?"

She put the manuscript she'd been reading on her lap. "Have you gotten any recent letters from Ruth Halverson that I might have missed reading?"2

Adam's puzzled look matched his wife's. "No. Why do you ask?"

"It's her book. We both read the original version she gave you when the two of you met unexpectedly in San Francisco, and I sent that back with notes of changes she'd have to make. You're aware that I received the revision just before we left and brought it along to read on the trip. I figured I'd be ready to give her feedback when we see her during our side-trip to San Francisco."

He nodded. "This seems like a big lead-in to something I'm not going like hearing."

Melinda's eyes drifted toward the ceiling as she sighed. "I started reading it tonight." She paused for another quick sigh. "I know it was hard when her father died, and she wrote that the book had sat untouched until she relocated to San Francisco. I was happily surprised when it arrived, and anxious to see how she'd done. But…"

"The rewrite isn't good?"

"That's the problem; the book didn't need to be rewritten. It was a wonderful story filled with her innate wisdom and insights. She related the stories her youth, and then of her father leaving; the massacre, and becoming White Buffalo Woman so well as to draw the reader in and keep them involved. She continued to inspire as she shared both her difficulties and joy in becoming Ruth Halversen again. My suggestion was that she hire a writer to help with the grammar; cut down repetition in passages that seemed hard for her to describe, and improve some sentence structure for a smoother read. But the story itself…was perfect. "

"Didn't she find someone to help?"

Melinda closed her eyes and breathed deeply. "Yes. And now the story is written from an entirely different perspective."

Adam put his magazine down and asked warily. "What perspective is that?"

"These are the first sentences of the introduction: _This is a story about a time when I was hiding on a 'mountain of the dead', and the man who found me there, and brought me back to life. It should be a love story for the ages, but there is no happy ending…yet._ "

The left side of Adam's face rose. "What?" He drew back and shook his head. "That contradicts everything she told me _and_ my family about her feelings concerning that time we all had dinner together in San Francisco."

"I wish I had the original draft to compare. Some of it is as I remember, but I can tell you that the introduction is only the start of the changes. I remember that half of the original manuscript was about her life _before_ becoming White Buffalo Woman."

Adam nodded. "It seemed important for her to show how her parents' guidance and the lessons with the Bannock allowed her to survive alone and save herself by becoming White Buffalo Woman.

"This story doesn't even mention her mother. It starts with the broken axle on their wagon and being taken in by the Bannock. I'm only three chapters in and she's already to the raid on the camp. That leaves two-thirds of this book to the Mountain of the Dead. I have an uneasy feeling that most of this is going to be about the few days the two of you were together."

"Would you rather I read it first?" He leaned forward and took her hand. "I was truthful with you about everything that went on with Ruth, but…"

"But, you're concerned that now she may be romanticizing that time?"

"It's possible she began to rethink her past after her father died. Memories can become skewed when a person is grieving. Suddenly every loss you've experienced becomes part of the muddle." Adam squeezed Melinda's hand. "Those days with Ruth were intense, and we only understood what happened…and why, in retrospect. We both concluded that we _had_ to go our separate ways. None of those emotions would have survived if we'd have left that place together."

Melinda rose and went to stare into the black night outside the window.

Adam stayed put, waiting to see what the space between them meant. When he saw her head bow and shoulders begin to rise and fall, he went to her. Melinda didn't cry often. She became emotional over her children and expressed sentimentality with tears, but she didn't use them as a weapon or break down when they disagreed or argued. He knew that what he'd just said had hit a deep, sore spot, and it broke his heart to see that his actions during the years they'd been apart sometimes cut to her soul. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he turned her around, and pulled her close.

They stood holding each other until she slipped her hand into his pocket to withdraw his handkerchief. After dabbing away the remaining tears she said, "There's no need to apologize. It's just that…sometimes…"

"You remember that I gave my heart to others." He felt her head nod against his chest.

Melinda looked into his eyes. "Please don't think I'm angry about that. I understand how others could love you as much as I do. I also know that I was always with you while we were apart. That's why none of those 'others' ever seemed the right match." She sighed deeply. "But if Ruth has decided that time with you should have ended differently, then I am worried."

"Please don't worry. I felt only relief and friendship, not love when I met her again. I told you that she admitted giving me an herb that dulled my pain…and inhibitions. That admission gave clarity to the whirlwind intensity of the feelings I experienced during those days. I was in love with an idea. I wanted to help her as she'd helped me, by reintroducing her to the world she'd given up to hide from those who might hurt her. " He lifted her chin and kissed her gently. "But it wasn't real. You were my reality; my perfect match. I never imagined that I could be so happy or so fully in love until I returned to you."

"I love you too." She kissed him and held him tightly before plucking the manuscript from the bed where she'd tossed it on her way to the window, and put it on the chair. "I am exhausted. Maybe we should turn in too. It's strange how much energy it takes to sit for hours on end. And as for that," she nodded toward the book on the chair, "I will finish reading it. If she's turned this into a romance novel instead of an autobiography, then I'll tell her I can't help her."

"I'll read it when you're done. Why don't I do lessons with the kids again tomorrow so you can finish."

Melinda grinned. "The interesting thing is that a romance novel about White Buffalo Woman and the handsome, wounded cowboy would sell better than the biographical account. And now that I've gotten over my initial surprise…and a tinge of jealousy, I have to wonder... This version is not in Ruth's handwriting. The note accompanying the book was printed instead of written, and it doesn't read like anything Ruth has ever written either. Something is off, and we won't know what that is until we see her."

Adam and Melinda had both finished Ruth's story by the end of the next day, and they were convinced that the manuscript had been taken hostage by the writer who'd helped her. The bothersome flaw in the theory was that Ruth should have agreed to the changes before the document was sent. Whatever was going on, they tabled their concerns until they would take their short trip to the coast. Ben had agreed to host AJ and Lizzy without their parents for a few days, and the parents were anxious for a few childless evenings. Adam had written to secure tickets for a number of shows they wanted to see, and they'd made plans to see Ruth, even before the manuscript had arrived. Melinda had never met the woman from Adam's past, but they'd been corresponding for over two years, and she was honestly anxious for the visit.

 **Three**

The train was scheduled to be in Reno by late morning, allowing Adam's family to catch the noon coach to Virginia City. There would be a stop at Goat Springs for a new team of horses, and if nothing delayed them, they'd be at the Ponderosa for dinner.

"Do we have it all sorted out?" Adam asked his wife as he put the last satchel near the door of their car.

"Our clothes for San Francisco are in the trunk that'll be taken to the hotel when the train gets there." She laughed as she looked at the pile of luggage. "The rest of it is in front of us. I hope Ben brings the big wagon. The last time we visited, we only had a couple of bags." _3_

"We traveled lighter back then." He grinned. "We didn't have clothes for two children or an extra suitcase stuffed with dolls, another full of books, and one more packed with gifts."

"Remember, you promised you'd get me a cowboy hat and boots, Daddy," Elizabeth reminded him as she found the bag with her dolls and exchanged the one she had for a different one.

"I haven't forgotten, but it'll be too late to look today. We'll go back to town tomorrow." He looked around and then took his children's shoulders while nodding towards his wife. "Pay attention all of you. The train is slowing, so everyone take a last look around. Anything you don't have when we walk out that door will stay here until we head home."

They all made a final search, with Lizzy locating her favorite stuffed animal tucked under a pillow on the couch. She held it tightly and stroked its head. "I'm so glad I found you, Cochise," she told the white knit horse with the black spots sewn on.

"I thought I packed that," Adam told her as he stuffed the toy into the doll case.

"You did, Daddy, but Cochise told me it was dark in there, and he wanted to come back out for a while."

Adam's lips formed a thin line as his chest rose with a silent sigh. Having a daughter was a great joy…and a challenge. He'd always watched over his brothers, but he had little experience with female children other than Peggy, and the girl he and his family had cared for during a custody dispute. With the arrival of his daughter, he'd found himself awash in the world of ribbons, dolls, and changing moods. His little princess could make his heart sing with her happiness, and melt it with her tears. He knew from experience that any sort of reprimand would break Lizzy's heart and leave the usually happy youngster moping. Yet he wanted her to learn from her actions. "It's a shame Cochise almost got left behind. That would have made you very sad. So what might you tell him next time he asks you to come out after he's been packed?"

The child's eyes widened as she chewed her cheek. "I'll say that he's safer where he is, and I'll just talk to him so he doesn't feel so scared."

"Good girl," he said as he knelt and pulled her near to kiss her cheek. He started to laugh as she hugged him and then stroked his beard.

"I like your furry cheeks, Daddy."

"Thank you, Princess." The train was slowing for its approach to the platform, so he gathered everyone by the door, waiting to lead them on the final leg to the Ponderosa.

The Cartwrights arrived at the Overland depot with a fully loaded luggage cart and only minutes to spare. Adam smiled broadly when he saw the man driving the stage. "Hiya, Smitty," he called as the small, older man pulled the red coach to a stop.

The driver made his way down and came to shake Adam's hand, while giving him a thorough looking over. "While I'll be dadburned, if it ain't Adam Cartwright. I almost didn't recognize you with that chin growth." Smitty looked past Adam to the woman and children standing behind his frequent fare from the past. "I wondered if I'd ever see you again. Them old codgers in Virginia City said you'd died in a fall, but yer Pa told me you'd gone to Boston and got hitched."

Adam laughed. "That's not the first time I've heard that I died." He motioned his family forward. "Smitty, this is my wife, Melinda, and our two children, AJ, and Elizabeth. We'll be riding to Virginia City with you today."

The older man shook hands with Melinda and both children. "I'll be happy as a hog in mud to have you all aboard. There's just one thing." Smitty motioned Adam and Melinda closer and spoke quietly. "All but one of my passengers are leavin' for connections here, exceptin'…" He nodded toward a large woman wearing an overly-ruffled dress with a large purse and parasol wedged under her arm, trying to maneuver out the small door. "Evangeline is with me today. She's a good hearted, tender woman who makes dolls that sell all over the world, but with her size, and all she's got along on the ride, she takes up a good part of the bench. I'm afraid you'll be a little cramped."

Adam went over to assist the station man helping Evangeline to the ground.

Melinda watched with interest as the older woman chattered away as they got her safely situated. She'd seen other women of this stature fade into themselves with embarrassment at needing help. But Evangeline was smiling, and whatever she was saying, made her husband and the stagehand laugh heartily. "It seems like she's a lot of fun," she said, turning to Smitty. "I can sit with her, and Adam can have the other bench with the children."

Smitty smiled at Adam when he returned. "Yer wife made a good suggestion of how you can all fit, but I might have a different idea if you and yer boy would be willin'."

"We'd keep you company up top?" Adam asked as he motioned AJ nearer. "Would you like to see what it's like to drive a stagecoach?"

"Yer Pa always sat up there when he could," Smitty confided to the boy. "Said he liked the open space instead of sitting on people's laps down below."

"Can I Mama?" the youngster asked?

Melinda's stern look at her husband made it clear she wasn't happy about the arrangement, but Adam gave her a hug. "It's perfectly safe. Smitty wouldn't offer if he thought differently."

Smitty was smiling ear-to-ear. "I'd be thankful for the company, ma'am, and Adam's right. I'm not carryin' mail or money. Besides," he dropped his voice as he leaned forward. "Evangeline will be gettin' off at Goat Springs. Her husband runs that station now. She rides the stage for free every month or two to visit her daughter's family near Stockton. You can all ride down below after that."

"You've convinced me," Melinda said as her smiled returned. "Just don't make it sound like too much fun or Lizzy will want to be up there too." She looked over at their daughter who was watching the station manager load their luggage, pointing out which piece held her dolls and needed special care.

Adam laughed. "You're probably right about that. If she asks, tell her that it's very windy up there, and it would spoil her braids before she gets to see Grandpa Ben and ruin her surprise. Maybe we'll have Smitty on the way home, and she can sit up top for a few miles then."

The stage was pulling into Virginia City when Adam pointed out the window. "It looks like everyone came to meet us. I recognize our wagon in front of the general store, and Cochise and Chubby were tied up next to it."

The two male Cartwrights had rejoined the ladies in the coach at Goat Springs. Although AJ was normally reserved around strangers, he'd talked constantly to the seasoned driver, asking Smitty questions about everything they passed, and looking over at his father with an awed expression.

Lizzy had reported that Miss 'Vangeline was really nice, and had showed her a doll she was making. The little girl's had eyes rounded to dark circles as she'd told her father and brother, "Vangeline is going to make one that looks like me, and I'll get it on the way home."

The little girl became animated as the stage stopped. "Remember, Daddy, I get to come out last, so I can surprise Grandpa."

"Yes, Princess, we have it all planned out." Adam knew he had to be the first one out of the coach so he could get his father aside and set up his daughter's grand exit.

The coach came to a stop, and the door was opened from the outside. Adam made his way out, and shook hands with his brothers and father before asking Hoss to assist Melinda while he tugged Ben away from the others.

"What are you doing, son?" he asked as he looked longingly toward the coach and its exiting occupants.

"You can go right back, Dad. It's just that when Lizzy comes out, you have to pretend you don't know her. Play along." His father squinted at him, and then laughed. "Oh, and the answer is braids, if she asks."

"So I don't know my granddaughter, you have a beard, and you're calling me, Dad? This is going to be an interesting visit." Ben shook his head and gave Adam a sturdy hug before going back to greet Melinda and AJ. When he looked up at the coach, he saw Lizzy standing in the doorway, and glanced back at his oldest son, sending him a wink. "Did you leave Elizabeth in Boston? There's a little girl on the stage, but she must be here to visit someone else."

Lizzy's face lit with a smile. "It's me, Grandpa!" she shouted before jumping into his arms. "I knew you wouldn't recognize me."

Ben turned her face side-to-side. "Why sure enough, it is my Princess Elizabeth. You sure fooled me with those pigtails."

"They are not pigtails, Grandpa," she scolded. "They're braids."

Ben handed his granddaughter to Joe, and went to his grandson. "I'm assuming you were in on the big ruse?" he said quietly before getting down on one knee and pulling the boy to him. "Thank you for waiting and not spoiling your sister's surprise." His embrace tightened. "I have missed you with my whole heart, son."

"I missed you too, Grandpa, and can't wait to see your ranch. I want to go riding and fishing and exploring." The child left a kiss on his grandfather's cheek as the two released their hug, and he turned to Hoss. "Dad said he saw Chubby when we came in to town. Can I meet him now? I feel like I've known him and Cochise forever."

Hoss sniffed and wiped his shirtsleeve across his nose before nudging his younger brother, and looking towards his older brother and sister-in-law. "Joe and I will be introducin' these sprouts to our horses while you get the luggage."

Paul Martin ran up before Hoss and Joe walked away. "I thought that was your stage," he said to Adam as he reached for his hand. "Say, that chin growth makes you look pretty distinguished. Just remember that we all knew you before you were a prominent Eastern businessman." He gave Melinda a peck on the cheek along with her handshake. "You are as beautiful as ever. Why on earth you stay married to that hard-headed Yankee is beyond me." He stopped abruptly when he noticed the little girl in Joe's arms, and the tall boy standing by Hoss. "These are your children?"

Adam made the introductions with AJ shaking the doctor's hand, while Lizzy leaned over for a hug.

Roy Coffee was the next to arrive, and similar introductions were made. When the uncles took their charges away, Roy clasped Adam's hand. "You got yerself some beautiful children there, Mr. Cartwright. Your Pa talks about them all the time, but I'm glad I finally got a chance to meet them." He turned to Melinda. "You hear people talk about bein' blessed, and I can see that's true of the two of you. Welcome back to Virginia City."

Melinda smiled warmly as she gave Roy a kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Roy. It's good to be back."

Ben sat in the second seat of the buckboard with his grandchildren while Adam drove the wagon home. Melinda laid her hand on her husband's knee and smiled when he looked over at her. "I'm glad you still know how to handle this thing," she teased. "I saw your surprised look when Ben said he wanted to ride with the kids. You ride horses all the time at home, but you're usually chauffeured when you go out in a buggy or wagon."

"You don't forget some things, my dear. Driving a wagon is as easy as falling off a log."

"That explains it." She laughed before adding, "I think we drove over several of those logs already, and I presume you're making a game out of hitting every rut and pothole."

"You caught on to that, did you?" Adam glanced over his shoulder as the wagon hit another hole and bounced. "Listen to those two. Pa will have an entire recap of the two years since they saw him before we reach the house."

"It is wonderful to hear their excitement. My parents live closer and come to see us more, but I do think our children feel closer to your father and brothers."

"I think that might be an absence thing. Since they don't see them often, their memories of Hoss, Joe, and my dad are kept in a special place where everything is perfect. Your Mom stayed with us while you and I were working on the school and making changes at my office. She took over, making them do their chores and homework, and getting to bed and off to school on time. She couldn't be the fun grandparent like Pa has always been to them." He grinned at her. "They may get a better idea of what he's like when they spend time with him…at his house. He'll give them a lot of leeway, but he'll set them straight if they cross any lines."

The ranch house began to take shape in the distance, making Melinda catch her breath. "I still get goosebumps when I see that," she said as she pointed toward the buildings. "It seems to rise out of the ground like magic."

"I am anxious to see what AJ thinks of his grandpa's 'log cabin'."

Adam pulled the wagon into the yard and took a quick look toward the back bench. He grinned when he saw AJ's mouth drop open as he got his first good look at the house. "So what do you think, son?"

"Wow, Dad. It's not like I pictured." He thought a moment, and turned to his grandfather. "Dad says there's a cabin in the hills where you lived at first. Can we go see that?"

Ben smiled while wrapping his arm around the boy. "Your uncles have a lot of outings planned, but we'll see if we can add that in."

Hoss and Little Joe had ridden ahead to alert Hop Sing to their pending arrival, and strolled out of the house to join the rest.

"I'm so glad I don't have to ride in no more wagons or trains," Lizzy declared as she let Joe help her down. She pointed to Cochise and started to pull her uncle toward the spotted pony. "Can I sit on him now?"

Joe went with her and lifted her into the saddle. "I thought you were tired of riding, yet here you are doing just that again."

"This is different," she said seriously. "I've waited my whole life to do this." She leaned over to whisper. "I still want a spotted horse, Uncle Joe. Maybe Daddy will let me bring one home with us."

Adam looked back as he neared the house and saw each of his children sitting on their favorite uncles' horse. "C'mon you youngens," he called to them. "You need to change clothes before you play."

Lizzy reached toward Joe for a lift down, while AJ used the stirrups like a pro and dropped the remaining distance. The boy's gaze drifted over to the corral. "Are the horses we'll be using in there, Uncle Hoss?"

"They sure are. Once you're in play clothes I'll introduce you."

Hop Sing was waiting inside and came forward as Adam entered. "Welcome home Mr. Adam and Missus Melinda. I am pleased for your visit." He shook hands while leaning to peer around them.

Adam stepped aside so his old friend could see the children running towards the house. "Why do I get the feeling you're more excited about seeing someone besides me?" He teased.

"Not true. Hop Sing very happy to see you, but curious about others have not met."

Melinda stopped her daughter as she rushed inside. "Elizabeth, this is Hop Sing."

Hop Sing dropped down one knee to be at eye level with the little girl. "You are most beautiful child," he said as he took her hand. "Hop Sing most pleased to make your acquaintance, Miss Elizabeth."

"Shay, shay, Mr. Hop," she said politely, using the Chinese words for thank you as she'd been taught. "Everybody calls me Lizzy." Her smile was as large as her eyes as she stretched to see the length of hair that was curled over the cook's shoulder. She walked around him, and said. "I like your braid, Mr. Hop. I have braids too." She indicated her own hair. "But mine aren't so long."

Adam brought AJ over and introduced him as well. Hop Sing stood again and bowed his head slightly. "You look much like father did. Is good to meet you." He looked up at the parents and asked, "Will be all right to take children in kitchen? Supper not for some time and I have fresh cookies."

"Just one," Adam cautioned as he watched the three head toward the cook's domain.

Ben waited until Hop Sing was out of sight. "I think he's been more excited for you to come than we were. When I asked him why, he told me it was high-time there were children in the house." He laughed quietly. "And then he told your brothers to hurry up; find wives and have babies."

Melinda and Adam laughed as well with Adam adding, "He's right about that. With all the engagements Joe's been through I thought sure one of them would have gotten him to the altar."

Their conversation stopped when Joe and Hoss came through the door, each carrying several bags. "Where do you want all this?" Joe asked as he lowered his cases to the floor.

The couple made quick work of separating the bags by owner. "We just need to know who's staying where and we can get this put away."

"We've made a few changes," Ben said as he pointed to the French doors at the side of the room near his desk. "We made the original bunkhouse out there into two guest room. Your brother's will stay there. We have so many hired hands for the cattle and timber operations that we put up several new bunkhouses farther away from the house. Each crew is assigned to one so they get to know each other pretty well."

"I can see where they'd like having more space between the main house and where they are," Adam noted with a smile. "So we'll be upstairs?"

Be shook his head. "Why don't you and Melinda use your room and perhaps the children would like to stay in their favorite uncle's room, so you'll be nearby if there are any problems their first few nights in a strange house."

"There's someone missing," Adam said after he'd listened to the recital of rooms and occupants. "Where does Jamie stay?" His forehead wrinkled in thought. "I thought he'd be at the house when we got here."

"He said he'd feel more comfortable joining us later for supper," Ben explained. "I had to agree that it might be difficult getting caught in the rush of the initial reunion." He stopped to think and laughed. "Tp answer your question; he uses the other room upstairs." Ben motioned his family over to the sitting area, and laughed again as all three sons found a furniture arm to perch on. "Some things never change," he commented while shaking his head. "I'm surprised the arms of our chairs have held up as long as they have with you three sitting on them all the time."

Melinda pointed to the low table in front of the hearth. "Maybe you and I should sit there, Ben. The upholstery will last forever that way."

Ben shook his head and chuckled before taking a serious tone. "As long as the children are occupied, I'd like to talk about Jamie."

"Are there things we need to be aware of or subjects we should stay away from?" Adam asked.

A wave of Ben's hand dismissed his son's worry. "I told you everything about him in my letters so you'd know the whole story before I adopted him."

Adam grinned. "So if I were against the adoption, you wouldn't have proceeded?"

Ben returned the grin. "I didn't say that. You know that I make up my own mind."

"From the tone of your letters, I assumed everything was going fine and he was acclimating to his new life."

Hoss joined the conversation. "Jamie ain't no trouble maker, but that don't mean he don't get into some trouble now and again. And," he glanced at his father to gain his endorsement of what he'd just said. "He seems to be happy here."

"At first, whenever he'd do something wrong, we'd find him sneaking down the steps with his satchel, trying to run off," Joe added.

"Was he that opposed to living here at the beginning?" Melinda asked.

Ben's sigh brought the attention back to him. "I think it was more that people hadn't been kind to him in the past because of his father's business. He had trouble trusting that we'd want him around when he made mistakes."

Adam interrupted, "Did you say his father was a rainmaker?" He received a nod from his father. "It couldn't have been an easy life or one where there was a lot of trust shown toward them. I imagine that he and his father did a lot of sneaking away when things didn't go to plan."

"You hit the nail on the head, Adam," Ben looked toward the kitchen to make sure no one was coming. "What I found interesting was that everyone wanted to believe that Jamie's methods would work here. There was excitement and hope, and the one with the most hope was Jamie. He kept running his father's formulas to his own exhaustion. As time elapsed without results, people turned on him." He shook his head. "Yet we often give our faith to unproven ideas without seeking to injure or destroy the person we trusted in. Doctors can't always cure, and preachers can't always guarantee an answer to our prayers. But in Jamie's case they pushed him around and destroyed his possessions."

Adam's face drew together in puzzlement. "Didn't you say it rained?"

A nod. "But by then they'd had already decided that he was a flimflammer. I believe the rain was coincidence or perhaps a blessing for his labors, but not a matter of science."

Melinda rose from her perch to stand next to Adam. "I'm surprised he came with you so easily, Ben. It sounds like he was pretty independent, and if he thought his work produced the rain then I'd have thought he'd want to go on doing it."

"I think he was tired: tired of trying to be a man at age 14, and tired of living on his own while trying to make miracles. He lived a fearful and wearing life; we gave him a different choice."

"I have the same thought as my wife," Adam said as he smiled knowingly, "except I know you better than she does. What did _you_ tell this young man to get him to leave that life behind? I know that the Ponderosa is beautiful, and who wouldn't want you as their father," he teased. "But I know you made some a deal to tip the scales for him."

Ben's cheeks pinked. "You do know me well. He came along at first because his wagon had been damaged, and his father's notebook had been destroyed. When he began to relax in being here, I asked him to explain the science behind how he 'manipulated the atmosphere,' and he had to admit that his father had developed the formula by trial and error. I promised him that he could do whatever he wanted later, but he should be a boy for now. He could catch up on his education and learn other skills. I also promised that I'd send him to college if he wanted, and then he could prove that his father's theories were sound. He liked that." Ben stopped and smiled. "I was so taken with his faith and dedication that I had to step in and show a little faith in him."

"So why are we having this powwow?" Adam asked.

The blush returned. "I wanted to be sure that you were as positive about this as you seemed in your letters…before Jamie gets here."

Adam's brows rose as he frowned. "I would have been honest, Pa. You know that. I was proud that you took him under your wing, and roof."

"Thank you, son. My only other request is that you be kindly in your initial interactions. Jamie speaks his mind, and it sometimes sounds argumentative. I think it's still a reaction from always having to prove or defend himself in the past."

"I'll be as nice to him as I am to my other two brothers." The oldest son grinned as he looked from Hoss to Joe.

Hoss laughed. "If that's the case, then Jamie'll probably want to drown ya in the water trough soon enough. But just with like me and Joe, he'll be doin' it out'a love fer ya."

Adam was trying to give a smart comeback when his children ran in from the kitchen.

Lizzy motioned for her mother to bend down, and she turned Melinda's face to look directly at her. "Mr. Hop Sing said we could call him Hop Sing, without no Mr. ahead of it," Lizzy reported as she licked at the milk mustache on her upper lip. "He makes good cookies too."

Adam joined his wife and daughter, pulling out his handkerchief to dry the area above her lip from her tongue washing, and then brushed the cookie crumbs from her cheeks. He winked at his father. "Remember how this little girl used to be so shy? Moving to the estate with so many people around was a shock for her. Then she started school and had to learn to be with other kids as well. It took her a while to feel comfortable with all the changes, but she's doing fine. Kids adapt when given the chance. Jamie will be fine too."

He kissed Lizzy's head, and called his son over. "Do you like Hop Sing's cookies too?" The boy nodded, but his eyes drifted towards the door. "I suppose you're just anxious to get outside and check out the lay of the land?"

"Could I, Dad?"

Adam directed each child to grab a bag from the luggage pile on the floor near the door. "Your play clothes are in those. Head up the steps and we'll show you where to go."

The other two brothers helped gather the remaining cases. As they started the climb, Joe turned back toward his oldest brother. "When did you stop cuttin' your whiskers, Adam? I wasn't expecting a beard."

"I'm guessing I stopped shaving about the same time you stopped cutting your hair. Did they close all the barber shops in Virginia City?"

Joe was about to respond when his niece spoke from further up the steps. "Don't tease Uncle Joe, Daddy. If he grows his hair long enough, he can wear braids just like me and Hop Sing!"

Hoss was bringing up the rear of the luggage procession, and nudged Adam's leg with a case as he chuckled. "Now if that don't get Joe to the barber first thing tomorrow, ain't nothin' will."

 **Four**

Adam and Melinda woke before sunrise. They'd tried to talk about the homecoming as they'd settled into bed for the night, but the long day had taken their energy and they'd drifted off immediately. Their children had been so exhausted that they'd been asleep on their feet, and hadn't awoken during the night.

After a loud, long yawn, Adam pulled his wife near and kissed her forehead. "There's no need to hurry, my love. I can't hear anyone moving around." He rose up on his elbows to check out the amount of daylight sifting through the bedroom curtains. "It's still dark out there, so it can't even be 5 AM.

"I bet Hop Sing is up and cooking." Melinda draped her arm across her husband's chest. "But I'm too comfortable right now to prove that theory."

"If we keep our voices low, we should be able to talk without disturbing anyone."

Melinda chuckled. "As thick as these walls and doors are, I think we can talk as loudly as we'd care to without disturbing anyone."

"So what do you think of Jamie?" he asked.

"He's a typical 15 year-old. I know he's been a Cartwright for a year, but he's not wearing that in complete comfort yet. Maybe his uneasiness is more pronounced with you being here."

"I hope he doesn't think he has to impress me. Pa wanted to give the boy a chance, and that's all that should matter." He quieted as he thought. "He was silent at dinner and looked like he was eating lemons." He chuckled softly. "But this can't be easy for him, and he's observing rather than participating."

She pushed up to see Adam's reaction to her next comment. "I wonder how he's doing in school. He seems an intelligent young man, as evidenced by his ability to work with those chemicals and run a business after his father died. Yet it's one thing to do what's familiar, and another to catch up in history, arithmetic, and English when you haven't been given the solid foundation of formal education. Ben said he's doing fine, but I'm betting he's had some trouble. One blessing is that it has given him a source for friendship with others his own age."

"I agree; but to change the subject…," he chuckled at his pun. "I think Pa looks good—not really any older than when he was in Boston a few years ago."

"Maybe having a youngster in the house is as good for him as it is for Jamie."

"You're right." He paused and started to chuckle again. "I didn't expect to see Joe with such long hair. We always kept our hair cut when I was home."

"There's some gray in those curls already. I'm betting Joe got tired of being, 'Little Joe'. He's got a 'baby face' and the long hair ages him." This time Melinda quieted before she sighed. "I was most surprised by Hoss."

"If you mean the weight gain…it's hard not to notice. He's made a few self-deprecating statements about it already. Last night, when he took a third helping of everything, he said that if he kept eating so much, he'd need to ride a draft horse instead of breaking Chubby's back. I saw Pa cringe, but I assume he doesn't feel he can interfere. Hoss has always struggled with his weight. He'd put it on over winter, and lose it with hard work in the summer. But this is different. I'd say he's at least 50 pounds heavier than two years ago."

"It's more than the weight though," Melinda whispered as she laid her hand against Adam's cheek. "I'm sure you saw it too."

"He was so excited to see us, especially the kids, but there were many times he looked… I'm not sure what to call it."

"Melancholy?" she provided. "It's like he's carrying a weight on his shoulders as heavy as what he's added to his frame."

"That's eloquently put, my love, and completely accurate."

"What I see is a symptom; what I don't know is the cause."

Adam breathed deeply. "I think I might know." He watched her brows come together as she thought. "You've read all his letters. What's his recurring thought?"

She nodded and smiled. "He spends a good portion of each telling us how fortunate we are to have each other and our children."

"And each of his prompts to appreciate what we have is followed by his sincere wish to have the same thing."

"Why would that make him unhappy instead of encouraged?"

"Hoss is six years younger than I am, and I'm betting he's measuring things by that gap."

She shook her head. "I don't understand."

"Hoss never compared himself to me or Joe because he was comfortable with who he was. He never felt it necessary to change the way he spoke, dressed or acted to fit in better. He always did what he did best, and that was more than good enough. When it came to love, we all had failures and setbacks, but I think they were worse for Hoss because he didn't think he had as many options. He's always been shy about his looks, and if a pretty woman seemed to care for him, he gave his all and fell hard. Unfortunately, many of them took advantage of his full wallet or good and forgiving nature. He stayed hopeful, in some part because I was older than him, and I was just as alone. He said often that as long as I remained single even with all my 'assets', then he wouldn't worry about a few setbacks on his part. But I finally got smart; went back for you, and accepted your proposal." He grinned at her.

Her brows drew together. "Was he jealous about that?"

"No." He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. "Hoss was happy for us, but it started a clock ticking for him. I was in my mid-thirties when we married, and he thought he'd surely find someone by the time he got to the same age. More than ten years have slid past without that happening. I suspect it's wearing on him."

"So he eats to forget that he's feeling a little hopeless?"

"Food makes no judgments and can fill a hunger that isn't physical. I think weight comes on more easily when a soul is in turmoil. We become less active when our minds are troubled, and that can add pounds even when we don't consume more." He choked out a laugh. "I hate to admit it, but I put on a few pounds the last years I was home. It came off pretty fast once I made the decision to go back to Boston, because I had a purpose driving me again."

She repositioned herself to kiss him deeply. "That was a lovely admission, Mr. Cartwright. You must be happy, because you haven't gained an ounce since we've been together."

"I am happy, so thank you for keeping me thin."

"Maybe it's the exercise we get every morning." She ran her hand down his leg for emphasis, and then laughed. "I know…we should behave here since someone could come to the door or hear us through these thick walls. But you just wait until we get to San Francisco. I'll have you feeling like an overcooked noodle when I'm through with you."

"Is that a promise?" He winked, pulling her back for another kiss.

She sighed, thinking about the conversation they'd been having before getting sidetracked. "Maybe for Hoss, it's just a case of the proverb that good things come to those who wait."

"I hope it isn't more as Violet Fane noted:

 _'Ah, all things come to those who wait,'  
(I say these words to make me glad),  
But something answers soft and sad,  
'They come, but often come too late._ _'_ _"_

She punched him gently in the stomach. "Let's keep positive. I know Hoss will be happy while we're here, but maybe you can have a brotherly talk with him before we leave?"

He shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Shame on you. You can see he's in pain, but won't offer a word of encouragement?"

"Being in pain and wanting others to offer advice about it are two far different things." He could see Melinda's pursed lips and the set of her eyes, indicating her protective nature toward her brother-in-law. "I'll say something if the opportunity arises, but not if it doesn't. You can stop giving me your evil eye about this. I will not intrude."

The couple drifted back to sleep for an hour after their conversation, and the sun was up by the time they were dressed and ready to go downstairs. They peeked into Hoss's room to find AJ getting dressed. After making sure he had the right clothes to wear, they checked in Joe's room, and found it vacant.

Adam held Melinda's hand as they headed down the stairway, drawing her to a stop at the landing. Ben was sitting in his usual spot sipping coffee, while their daughter was telling him a story about the chickens she'd been "talking to" while helping Hop Sing gather eggs for breakfast. Adam couldn't hear every word, but enough to figure that the hens had given her plenty of advice on where to look.

What made the scene even more endearing was that while the little girl was still in her nightgown, she was wearing the boots and hat her grandfather had left in her room as a surprise welcome gift. Adam and Melinda had allowed her to wear the boots to dinner, but had to insist she take them off for bed. Her braids had come out during the night, creating a cloud of curls seeming to float the hat above her head.

Neither child nor grandfather seemed to notice their arrival until Adam leaned down to kiss Lizzy's cheek. His father looked up at him with a gentle smile, and then back to his granddaughter who hadn't stopped talking more than to offer a "g'morning Mommy and Daddy."

Adam left his wife at the table, grabbed the coffee pot, and headed into the kitchen for a refill. Hop Sing was removing a pan of biscuits from the oven when he entered. "Good morning," he offered his old friend. "From the story being told out there, I assume my daughter was up before anyone else, and became your sidekick in the henhouse?"

The cook nodded, but busied himself with sliding the browned biscuits onto a serving dish.

The silence of the normally talkative cook made Adam wary. "I apologize if she was in the way or caused problems. I would have come down if I'd have heard her." He chuckled. "I'm surprised I didn't. She doesn't know how to walk in those boots and she's pretty heavy-footed."

"She no problem, Mr. Adam. She…" Hop Sing fell silent and turned away.

Thoughts of what his child might have said or done to offend, made Adam's heart pound. Lizzy was a force. She blew in like a warm south wind, and usually brought joy to anyone around her. But Hop Sing was from a culture of deep honor, and her exuberance might be seen as disrespectful. The concerned father moved in front of this man with whom he'd shared so many moments. "Tell me what she did, and I'll have a talk with her…to explain why it was incorrect and how she must behave."

Hop Sing's eyes flew open. "She do nothing wrong! Is most pleasant having her near. But also brings sadness to know she leave again. Miss Lizzy…" He stopped to sniff and take a deep breath. "Miss Lizzy is like sunshine in house where only dark clouds for so long. Son AJ is thoughtful, respectful, and patient with little sister; just like you with brothers. Bring good memories of early times on Ponderosa."

"Thank you." Adam held the cook's shoulders, and glanced around to make sure no one was coming. "There are clouds in this house?"

A quick nod. "Should not say, but do anyway. Father and brothers fine sometimes, but stuck. New son is nice boy, but carry much sad memories."

Another glance to ensure their privacy. "Explain, stuck, Hop Sing."

"I say too much. Not my place."

"I think I know what you mean," Adam said sincerely. "Especially Hoss."

Hop Sing nodded vigorously. Mista Hoss need more than father's ranch, I think. But Little Joe too. Hop Sing hope you here with family make them get off bottoms and marry too."

Adam snorted into a laugh. "I agree, Hop Sing. A few grandkids running around this house would make everyone happy."

"Ahem." Both men turned when Melinda cleared her throat. "I was wondering if you had to grow and harvest that coffee, Adam," she teased. "As our daughter would say, 'I've been waiting 'my whole life' for you to come back with it.

"So sorry, my dear." Adam's blush was visible across the room. "Hop Sing and I were discussing how we need to get my brothers off their butts and have families of their own."

She walked over to the pair and swatted Adam's arm. "Didn't you just tell me that you can't intrude in these private things?"

"We're not saying anything to them. Hop Sing figures that having our kids around ought to give them a nudge in the right direction." Adam smiled at his comrade.

Hop Sing added, "And if they not learn from nudge, then I smack them in head with frying pan."

The rest of the family was at the table when Adam and Melinda returned from the kitchen, and Hop Sing began bringing out the bowls of food he'd been keeping warm. After talking about plans for the day, Ben said, "We didn't have much time to catch up yesterday. How's your school doing, Melinda?"

"I've kept you up to date with most of it in my letters," she began. "It took several months to get the plans approved for the building additions, but everything is done now and the two houses with the connection are working perfectly. Abel and Sadie have adjusted to living in the country with us, but they both come into town with me every day. Sadie cooks lunch, and Abel visits with his friends and tells stories to the children before the rest period. They love him."

"How many kids you got in class now?" Hoss asked.

"I started with the first twelve even while building was going on. This last year I was able to find eight more who could handle going straight into first grade class and added 20 into the preparatory class. I'll be doing interviews as soon as we return this summer, and then we'll have children in three grade levels."

"How do the kids get there?" The question came from Joe. "It sounds like they live away a bit and they'd stop coming when the weather got bad."

"Melinda knew that would be a problem," Adam answered. "We rent two large carriages that transport them to and from a central spot near their homes to ensure attendance." He laughed as he thought further. "Since they hold about 20 children, I guess we'll have to add another route this fall."

Ben's eyebrows rose. "I don't recall you mentioning that, but it's an excellent idea. I don't suppose it costs any more than it would to run a school with no pupils."

"Pa told me about your school, Melinda." All heads turned to the speaker on the far side of the table. Jamie continued, "Do AJ and Lizzy go there?"

A quick look was passed between Adam and Melinda, as Ben offered, "They attend a private school in Boston."

Jamie's next comment was given matter-of-factly. "But if this school you're all talking about is so good, then why don't their own kids go there?"

Melinda nodded at Ben, letting him know that she would handle it. "The school we started is for children who wouldn't do well in a regular school just yet. They come from families where school isn't a priority because children are needed to work or help at home. These students need help to get them into a mindset of learning. AJ and Lizzy are far ahead of where my students are right now."

"So why do their parents let them go if they need them home?" The young man asked further.

"That's a very good question. I work with people who provide services to neighborhoods where schools are few, and poorly managed. These folks give us the names of families to talk to. Not everyone we approach will want to participate, but I believe that most parents desire a better life for their children. We had to rethink our offer and decided to provide uniforms and transportation, have a nutritious lunch each day, and furnish their supplies. That way there's no financial burden on the family. When the parents ensure that the children are in class and do their lessons, they receive a stipend every three months as an incentive."

Jamie chewed his lip. "Why don't you offer the money up front?"

"It's meant as a reward rather than a bribe, and it's not cash. We give families a choice of vouchers to pay their housing costs or store certificates to use for food and clothing. It's making a difference in the lives of those families. Our hope is that the money and education will continue to make their lives better."

There was an edge in the boy's final question. "So, what I'm hearing is that your kids are too good to go to school with a bunch of dummies whose parents can't afford no better?"

Ben's shocked, "Jamie!" sent the boy slouching deep in his chair.

AJ's voice rose in the silence after the admonition. "Lizzy went to Mom's school the first year it was open. But I'll be going into eighth grade this fall, and my sister will be in fourth, so we're farther along than what's offered there right now." His eyes locked onto those of the boy across the table. "Or do you think we should go back to first and second grade to prove that we're not snobs?"

Adam laid a hand on his son's shoulder, as he watched Jamie's reaction. He'd recognized the challenge issued by the newcomer to their family, and was secretly pleased with AJ's response. He'd seen Jamie's eyes flash as he'd stiffened and then relaxed.

AJ understood his father's wordless message. "I'm sorry, Jamie. I didn't mean that quite the way it came out. Please excuse me if I seemed rude."

Ben waited for a response from his adopted son, and receiving none, said, "How about you, son, have you nothing to say?"

Jamie stared at Ben, his lip raised in the hint of a snarl, but he finally looked back across the table. "I'm sorry too. You should go to whatever school you want."

Hoss had stood as Jamie's apology was being issued, and redirected everyone's attention. "It looks like most a you all got the right duds on for a ride, so those of us who's ready will head out and saddle up." He looked at his older brother. "I done introduced your sprouts to the horses they'll be using while they're here, but since we're goin' a little further on today, I got a surprise for you to use with Lizzy."

"I love surprises, as long as I know what they are!" Elizabeth shouted. "Please tell me what it is, Uncle Hoss, or I'll bust."

"It won't be a surprise if you already know what it is. Yer mama will get you dressed, and by then we'll be ready for ya."

Melinda and her daughter headed upstairs to change, while the men congregated by the door to gather their holsters and hats. AJ stopped by the bowl of fruit on the table in the living area.

"Grandpa, may I take an apple for my horse? He'll get to know me better if I give him a treat."

"That's a good idea. Get a bag of them to treat all the horses when we stop later. They don't need to be the good ones. Why don't you and Jamie go out through the kitchen and have Hop Sing give you the ones he sets aside for cooking."

Jamie's lip pulled up, making him look like he bitten into a particularly sour apple as he silently mimicked what AJ had said. He was still shaking his head, but he waited until the rest of the men were out the door before saying, "So it appears I'll be babysitting you while you're here. Pa must be afraid you'll get lost walking through the kitchen."

AJ kept a straight face as he shrugged. "Maybe he sent _me_ along so _you_ won't get lost."

The older boy stopped, and then laughed. "You do talk up for yourself, kid." His nose drew upward. "How old are you? I thought Pa said you were nine, but you said you're going into eighth grade. That'd make you closer to twelve or thirteen, wouldn't it?"

"I'm nine." AJ snickered. "But you met my parents. Dad teaches at Harvard and my mom runs a school using a program she developed. They have my sister and me working on lessons all summer, and everything we do ends up being a 'learning opportunity' as they call it. There'd be something wrong if we weren't ahead."

"It sounds hard. I wouldn't want to put all that time into schoolin'."

"It's not bad. Mom figured out a way to teach kids without drumming things into them, at least not at first. She makes it fun, and that's what her school is like. It's how she started with us too. Now we have to learn and memorize more from books."

Jamie shook his head again. "Well, you sure don't talk or act like any nine-year-old I know."

"Uncle Hoss told me they said the same thing about my dad when he was a kid."

By the time the boys came out with the apples, Lizzy and Melinda had exited the front door and met them on the way to the corral.

Adam had suggested they trim down some of AJ's old jeans to fit the little girl rather than worrying about finding a riding skirt. But getting the excited child into the pants had been like stuffing a sham with an overly-filled pillow, and Melinda had threatened to make her daughter wear a dress and ride in a wagon. That had settled the little girl enough that the remainder of hair combing, and dressing went quickly

The men had the horses saddled and lined up for the ride. Cochise had a travois behind him holding their picnic baskets and enough fishing poles and gear for a small army.

"Where's the surprise?" Lizzy asked as she ran from horse to horse. "And where's my pony?"

Hoss grabbed her as she ran by and hoisted her onto his shoulder. "Yer pony's legs ain't long enough to keep up with the rest of us, and I think you need to learn how to ride in this country a little better first. But," he carried her over to a chestnut quarter-horse with a broad rump, and pointed to the saddle. "I had this made fer you," he explained.

Adam had walked over to his wife and she pulled him near to ask, "What's Hoss showing her." Her eyes rounded in worry. "She can't ride anything that big."

"She can't?" he teased. Seeing her stern look, he continued, "Hoss had a special saddle made for longer rides around the ranch. It's a tandem rig with an adult saddle that attaches to a smaller one for a child. It's just her size, and it even has short stirrups so her feet won't flop."

"Does it have a pommel?" Her face still registered her concern.

"There are two raised handholds or she can hold onto me." He frowned. "Hoss said he thought it best if I'd take her. He'd have liked to do it, but he admitted that Chubby was already struggling with just his weight."

She reached for his hand. "I know that made you sad, yet it does seem a better solution." Her lips twisted in a grimace. "Do you think it's safe?"

"It'll be fine. She knows how to ride, so she'll be able to enjoy the view without having to worry about controlling a horse."

Their conversation was interrupted by their daughter instructing her father to hurry up so she could try the "behind-you" saddle.

Ben allowed his sons to go ahead with Jamie and AJ, while he hung back with Melinda. As they rode side-by-side he nodded to the group in the lead. "My grandson appears to be a fine horseman."

"He is. One of our stable hands is teaching him to jump his horse now."

He slowed his horse even more. "I was surprised when AJ told Jamie what grades he and Lizzy will be in."

"There're both doing well, Ben. The teachers at their school would push AJ even further ahead, but they want him to have a little more time before they rush him into secondary school. Still…he loves to learn. It's interesting to watch him." She smiled lovingly and then chuckled. "He's a normal nine-year-old in every way, yet his mind is so active and when he talks about something he's interested in, you swear you're conversing with an old man."

Ben laughed out loud. "I wish you could have known your husband when he was that age. He was the same way. I imagine he'd have sailed through school just like AJ if it had been available. I think that was my biggest sadness for him out here."

"I don't think it was a problem." She grinned at her father-in-law. "You got him through the basics so he could excel once he got his chance." The grin continued. "There is something else. Lizzy is doing just as well as her brother. Her spoken grammar needs work but she reads and understands at a near adult level, and she's good in arithmetic and remembers well. I don't think the teachers know what to do with her right now. She's still a sweet little girl, so we don't want to rush her through childhood."

"I suppose schools are still more favorable towards young men?"

Melinda nodded. "There are a few in Boston that challenge young women, and we'll get Lizzy into one of them when she's eight."

They rode on in silence until Ben looked over again. "I'm sorry that Jamie was so accusatory at breakfast. I can't say that he's always sweet natured, but he's not quarrelsome either."

"It's nothing to worry about, and certainly nothing we haven't heard before. The same criticism comes from others, especially other teachers. Their defense against not trying my ideas is that if this works so well, then why aren't 'my' children attending my school."

"What do you tell them?" Ben asked while giving Buck a light kick to get him moving faster as the group out front got out of sight.

"I point out that our children were taught with my methods from little on, and they are ahead because of it." She paused as Ben nodded. "Jamie's questions showed that he was listening. His reasoning skills are good; I think you're aware of that. From what you wrote, he was a pretty good businessman, even if his product wasn't a sure thing."

Ben's laughter rang out in the open air. "He got the ranchers around here to promise him $5000 for rain." He shook his head. "That child carried a weight. He'd seen what his father had been through, yet he'd never lost faith in the man, and set out to prove him right. All that pressure to succeed made him both fearful and defiant."

"I can see how much you care for him, Ben. I think your patience will be rewarded, and he'll have a good life because of you." She grinned. "Those qualities you just mentioned—fearful and defiant—I'm betting they described Ben Cartwright when he set out from Boston with an infant son to find a dream."

 **Five**

The first week of their vacation had passed quickly. There'd been family outings on the Ponderosa, and a trip into town for dinner with Paul Martin and Roy Coffee at the International House. But there was pressing ranch work to tend to for the Nevada Cartwrights, and Adam needed to conduct some business matters by telegraph, so they split up for the day. Adam took Melinda, Lizzy, and Hop Sing to spend the day in town, while the rest of the family checked the herd.

Jamie joined Ben, Hoss, and Joe at the door as they prepared to leave for a nearby grazing area. When Ben reminded the boy that he wouldn't be joining them until later, he set his face in a challenging glare.

"Why can't I come with you now, Pa?"

"We spoke about this last night. AJ wants to see how we work the cattle, but we have things to get settled with the foremen before we can show him around. It'll be best if you two stay here to clean the barn and then ride out later."

"That rich kid doesn't know how to clean a barn. I'll end up babysitting while he orders me around."

Ben finished buckling his holster and then led Jamie outside. "From the way you're acting right now, AJ will be babysitting you." He let that image settle. "That…kid, as you call him, is my grandson. While he's not actually related to you, he is part of this family, and you will watch how you refer to him. Further, he hasn't shirked any chores. He tends to his own horse and helps wherever he's needed, just like you. So…" He squared himself in a wide stance, while holding Jamie at arm's length. "Maybe you can tell me what's really bothering you."

"It's just that…" The young man looked toward his feet.

"Just what?" Ben asked.

Jamie looked back up and met Ben's gaze with a look of fierceness. "Since those kids got here, everyone is so happy. It's all, AJ's so smart: AJ rides so well; AJ is so perfect. The girl is cute and funny, and I'm, well, it's like I don't matter."

Ben drew back as he recalled the days since Adam and his family had arrived. Certainly a lot of attention had been directed toward his grandchildren. But they had included Jamie in everything they'd done. He'd seen AJ go over to the older boy several times, asking him to play a board game or go outside. He'd succeeded a few times, but just as often, Jamie would refuse and either go to his room or sit off by himself looking sullen while the adults talked. A smile crept onto his lips as realization hit. His adopted son was jealous.

"You've forgotten a couple of things, son. Adam is also my son, and he's the person who helped me start this ranch and make it into the success you see now. Wouldn't it seem odd if we weren't happy that he was home? And those _kids_ you keep referring to are the children of my child, so wouldn't it also be a tragedy if they didn't hold a deep and honored position in my heart?" He waited for Jamie to nod. "Now, what you say is true. We do acknowledge their talents and accomplishments, but if you'd participate or at least pay attention, you'd know that your brothers and I often mention your achievements too." Ben's statement caused Jamie to blush and turn away. "From what I can tell, AJ likes you…or could if you'd give him a chance. My best advice is to let him in a little. You might just find a friend…and ally."

Jamie was silent for a second, but then returned Ben's stare and said, "If that all, I'll go back inside." Although the deepening blush spoke to him understanding the truth in Ben's words, there was still a defiant tone in Jamie's voice. He turned to leave, but Ben's hand on his shoulder brought his departure to a halt.

"I know it's hard being surrounded by so many Cartwrights. But I want you to remember that while the rest of us, including AJ, Lizzy, and their father, became Cartwrights through birth. You became one by choice—both yours and mine. Becoming my son means you have all the privileges of this name, but it also means you have responsibilities. Getting to know the rest of your 'family' with an open mind is one of them." He dropped his hand to release his newest son, and the boy made a hurried retreat into the house.

Hop Sing and Lizzy sat together in the back seat of the buggy, talking, while Adam and Melinda made a few plans for their trip to San Francisco as they drove into town. The couple decided they'd follow the same route they'd taken when they'd come, taking the stage to Reno and then catching the train to the coast.

As their conversation concluded, Adam leaned back to hear what the duo behind him were saying. He swung back and moved nearer to his wife. "He's teaching her Chinese, and they're actually carrying on a simple conversation."

"It doesn't surprise me." Melinda shook her head and chuckled. "Hop Sing is taking us to meet his cousins while you wire Boston and wait for their reply. I'm sure our daughter wants to have a few phrases to use."

"It's too bad she didn't take to wearing those jeans." Adam smiled over at his wife. "But she is a delicate flower like her mother, and perhaps the cotton pants like Hop Sing wears will be more comfortable." He snickered. "I'm sure she'll come home with a lovely cheongsam made out of satin too if Hop Sing has his way."

"And she'll be lovely in it. It was sweet of him to suggest the alternative." Melinda bit her lip in thought. "I think I'll have them shorten one pair of pants so she has something to wear swimming. The sundress she's been using weighs her down when it's wet, and I'm worried she'll drown. She can still wear her stockings and a camisole, but those pants will be much lighter."

"She's just a little girl, honey. She can wear a shirt and short pants without the stockings and have fun. We're on the ranch, so it's not like anyone can accuse us of dressing her immodestly."

She winked. "I love it that you're such a modern man. Now…can I just wear a pair of cotton pants and a shirt if we go swimming too?"

Adam pulled Melinda closer. "How about we go swimming alone. Then you can wear nothing at all."

She swatted him before creating a little more space between them. The Cartwright family was used to seeing the loving gestures between Adam and his bride. Yet Hop Sing was not normally around during those moments and she didn't want him to feel uncomfortable.

They were nearing town as Melinda sighed into a question. "I wonder if we should have brought AJ with us today."

"He wanted to go out to the camp, and he's excited to be alone with his uncles and grandpa. I can't wait to hear what he has to say tonight. It'll be like reliving my first time working cattle." He glanced over and saw the uneasy look on his wife's face. "I couldn't take any better care of him than those three men will."

Melinda's, "I suppose," was drowned out by Adam calling out to Roy Coffee as they pulled into town. He angled himself to see the passengers in the back seat. "I'll leave the wagon at the mercantile. They can load the supplies, and then take it to the livery if we're not back." Once he'd brought the vehicle to a stop in front of the store that had once belonged to Will Cass, he helped the ladies down, giving his wife and daughter a kiss before sending them off with Hop Sing. With them on their way, he grabbed his portfolio and headed toward the Western Union office.

AJ had pulled the dirty straw from the four main stalls of the barn by the time Jamie walked in.

"Why didn't you say you'd be out here," the older boy growled. "I was lookin' all over for you."

"Grandpa said we could ride out when the chores were done so I thought I'd get started." He watched as Jamie strode past him, grabbed a rake and started tossing fresh straw toward the stall. "If you wait a minute, I'll get this dirty stuff into the wheelbarrow and take it outside."

Jamie stopped, and sent AJ a look of disgust. "I told Pa you'd boss me around."

"I'm not bossing you." AJ's initial reply came out with the same peevish tone used by his companion, but it softened as he added, "I only made a suggestion that will keep the fresh straw from getting mixed with the dirty stuff. But you can do it any way you like."

His pitchfork stopped in mid-air as Jamie grunted, and then chuckled. "Yeah, I guess that does make sense. I think we'll be in each other's way if we keep this up. I'll go fill the water buckets while you get the muck out of here, and then you can put oats in the troughs and hay in the nets while I put down bedding."

The two boys finished preparing the stalls in silence, and then began sweeping the rest of the barn floor and stowing tack and other items left out by the older men of the family.

Jamie climbed into the loft after sending AJ outside, and began pitching hay down for the animals in the corral. "So how many horses you got in that place of yours back east?" he hollered from above.

"We've got twenty stalls, but we only keep the four horses we use inside. There's another 30 thoroughbreds and Arabians in the pastures."

"What do you do with all of them? Pa says Adam's got some big business, and your ma's got a school, so it's not like you run a ranch, do you?" Jamie disappeared into the loft after asking the question and reappeared at the side door on the ground floor to help move the dropped hay to the feeding troughs in the pen.

"We only have a thousand acres. Some of that is farmed but there's a good stretch of pastureland and a big woods with a stream running through it. We use the land for riding, and a monastery sends people over to work with the horses when they need some peace. We provide the land and horses; the monks do the rest." The younger boy stopped what he was doing to stretch, and then grinned. "My father and I kind of practiced for coming out here—you know so I'd know a little more about being with the cattle."

Jamie laughed, but his tone turned mocking. "So you pretended to be cowboys and rode your horses around in the field? Did you herd your milk cows and lasso your chickens too?"

AJ ignored the sarcasm. "Dad has taken me camping since I was little. He likes to make a roaring campfire, and we lean back on our saddles to look at the stars while he shows me the different constellations."

The sarcastic tone persisted. "Aw, ain't that sweet. But it still don't change the fact that all you done was ride them ponies around and slept on the ground near your house."

"I know the Ponderosa is much bigger than our place. Dad says I've only seen a small part of it so far. Have you gotten around most of it, Jamie?"

The teenager snorted. "I've seen a lot of it, but there are places no one gets to 'ceptin every few years. I mean," he paused for emphasis, "the place is a thousand square acres."

"I don't think it is," AJ answered matter-of-factly.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Dad and Grandpa say it's a thousand square miles."

Jamie glared at the younger boy. "It's the same thing!"

"You said square acres, making it a million acres, and it's not. It's 640,000 acres."

"What's the difference?" Jamie said again as his cheeks blazed red with anger and embarrassment.

"A square mile is 640 acres. You multiply that by 1000 and it's 640,000."

"Just shut up."

AJ could see Jamie's balled fists but wasn't sure why he was so angry. "I'm sorry. I thought you'd want to know the right amount." The other boy's posture remained stiff, so he added, "I know where the feed is for the other animals. I'll get that done so we can get out to the herd."

While AJ did that, Jamie got his horse from the corral, hitched it to the rail, and went back to the barn for his saddle. "Hurry up kid," he shouted to the boy in the chicken coop. "Get done and saddle your horse so we can get going." He was secretly pleased with how much the "kid" had helped, but still didn't cotton to his smart mouth.

AJ bounded from the coop, tossed his pan into the feed bin inside the barn, and then led a medium-sized horse from the corral its lead rope. "Can you help me with the saddle, please? You're taller than I am, and if I do it alone, I'll have to get a bench to stand on, and that'll take more time."

A drawn out sigh escaped the older boy's pursed lips. He'd learned a few things about the kid this morning. AJ worked hard and was willing to do whatever needed to be done. And Jamie had used every evil-eyed look he could come up with to shut the boy up, but nothing riled the kid. The one thing that was stuck in his craw was how AJ made constant mention of all the things he did with his dad. He figured AJ had heard the story about the life he'd lived on the road with his father while trying to make rain. It spurred him into thinking that the kid kept bringing up the obvious difference between their two fathers as a way to get to him. He cinched his saddle tight and turned. "Take your horse in the barn and I'll saddle it there. You get the canteens filled while I do that."

"You know my dad still has the original canteen that Grandpa gave him," AJ said enthusiastically. "He said it's the first Christmas gift he can remember getting after they moved here. It's pretty banged up and the cork's been replaced, but he won't ever get rid of it." AJ went to the barn to grab two empty containers and continued talking as he neared Jamie on his way to the pump. "Dad and I always take that canteen with us when we go camping. He says it makes him feel close to Grandpa, and Uncle Hoss and Joe. We talk about the Ponderosa all the time. I think he wants to make sure that we never forget the family we have here, because they sure won't ever forget us."

The tale of the familial canteen tweaked Jamie's last bit of good will, and he started to laugh sourly. His cheeks first blanched and then heated to crimson, and his opening statement was given in a wounded pitch. "Your Pa thinks his father and brothers won't forget him and the rest of you? That's funny! They already have."

The canteens clunked as they hit the ground after slipping from AJ's hand, and he stood wide-eyed with an angry set to his lips. "What do you mean by that?"

"No one talks about your pa…ever. I've never heard a ranch hand even mention his name, and Ben, Hoss and Joe, don't either. I can't recall your pa's name said aloud in that house more than once since I've been living here. But whoa boy, that all changed when they found out you were all coming for a visit. Then they tried to tell me everything about the missing son, his uppity wife, and his miserable kids in a couple days."

AJ walked over and looked directly up at the taller boy. "That's a lie. Grandpa would never talk about my mother and us that way."

"You're lying to yourself if you think it's any different. In fact they told me to stay here with you for a while this morning so they didn't have to have you around so long." He had the kid on the ropes now and he lunged in for another jab. "Ain't it just funny to think of you and your pa out in that puny woods you got, remembering people who couldn't care less." Jamie stopped when he realized he'd gone too far. The younger boy paled and turned, and when Jamie tried to touch AJ's shoulder he yanked away. "Hey, let me get that horse ready and we'll leave." His tone lightened as he said, "What does it matter whether people across the country remember you when you're not around. That's how most people are anyway. And they seem to like you just fine now that you're here."

Where Jamie's tone had softened, AJ's now held a sharp edge. "I'll stay here and wait for my parents to get back."

"C'mon kid, they're going to wonder where we are."

AJ led his horse back into the corral and swatted its rump to make it run. He turned back to Jamie. "I think they might wonder where you are, but if what you said is true, then they should be glad I'm not along."

Beads of sweat were forming on the older boy's upper lip. "I was just teasing you a little. They'll be mad at me if I don't bring you." Jamie grabbed the corral gate. "I'll get your horse, and we'll go."

"I'm not going." AJ pulled Jamie's hand from the gate latch. "Just leave. I don't need a babysitter, and as you said, you'll all get more done if I'm not around." He looked up at Jamie a last time before running for the house.

A groan escaped as Jamie watched AJ disappear inside. A memory of the night Ben Cartwright had stayed with him as he'd tried to make it rain in Virginia City, pounded in his brain. He could see himself telling the kindly man about his own father being tarred and feathered because no one understood the science involved or that it took time. He'd also told him how they'd had to sneak out of many places in fear of the same outcome. In the face of probable failure, he'd told Ben Cartwright that he'd given his best, and he wouldn't run or cry anymore.

This was the man he now called, Pa—the man who'd taken him in and given him his name and a future. And just now, he'd tried to destroy this same man's grandson. In his heart, he knew he'd only meant to poke the kid, but he'd gone too far and wounded him…making the boy doubt his worth in his own family.

Jamie swallowed hard as he looked around and saw the fine house he lived in and the fine horse next to him, and thought about the family who'd accepted him as their own. The bile in his stomach rose again as he realized he'd taken all those fine things away from this youngster who'd really done nothing but tell him some stories about where he lived in Boston. He didn't understand what was driving the hot ball of anger in his stomach, but it had been there since Adam and his family had arrived. Even now, he knew it had caused him to do something horrible—but it was still there.

He tried to tamp down his feelings by reasoning that what he'd said had been true. Ben, Hoss, and Joe didn't talk about the oldest brother much, and neither did the ranch hands. But then one day, Ben had sat him down and told him that they would be visited by this first son and his family, and after that the three of them had nearly talked his ear off about Adam, Melinda, AJ, and Lizzy. It had seemed like they'd wanted to create the illusion of caring that hadn't existed before the news of their impending arrival. So…he hadn't lied. But, if this _was_ the truth, why did he feel so awful?

He shook his head to clear his thoughts and doubts. "Well someone better get out there," he said solemnly while mounting his horse. "I'll just say the kid wasn't feeling good."

Ben looked past Jamie as he dismounted at camp. "Where's AJ?"

The teenager stayed by his animal, looking intently at a loose thread on the saddle blanket. "We finished the chores and then…well, he decided not to come along."

"Why is that?" The tone of Ben's voice conveyed his suspicions that this wasn't a real answer.

He'd intended not to say anything, but when Ben Cartwright asked for an explanation in the tone he'd just used, Jamie knew enough to give an honest answer—or at least an answer with some truth. "Everything was fine, and then he was going on about how much everyone here thought about his pa, and I might have said that I didn't recall hearing much about any of them until just before they got here. He seemed to get the idea that meant no one cared about them."

Hoss had hurried over when he'd seen Jamie ride into camp, and made it to his father's side in time to hear the explanation for AJ's absence. His mouth drew into a thin line as he closed his eyes. After a deep breath, he laid his hand on his father's arm. "I'll go."

Hoss made a quick search of the house before heading out to the barn. The stalls were empty but he heard rustling above him, followed by a loud sneeze. He climbed the ladder to the loft and saw AJ tucked away in a pile of hay at the far corner with an open book on his lap. "I figgered it was you up here after hearing that sneeze." He smiled widely. "Your daddy used to do the same thing when he worked with the hay and straw. Sometimes it'd get so bad he'd look just plain miserable. His eyes got all runny and he'd sound like he had cotton stuffed up his nose." Hoss's description elicited a short-lived smile from the boy.

AJ finally spoke. "I'm surprised you remembered that about my dad."

The tall man had to duck and finally squat as he made his way into the decreasing slant of the beams to get to his nephew. "Can I sit next to you for a spell?"

"I can't stop you," AJ said as he turned away. His voice was cool, yet respectful, as he added, "It's _your_ barn."

Hoss couldn't help but smile. This youngster was so much like the brother he'd known while growing up. Adam had been fierce in his opinions; always sure of himself when he knew the facts, and let most attempts at riling him roll off his back like water from a duck's feathers. But if he and Joe ever wanted to get Adam's goat, they teased him about being the oddball of the family; how he didn't fit in and couldn't be a part of their plans. His older brother would brush it off, saying he had no intention of being like everyone else, and was glad to be excluded. But there were times when Hoss had seen the momentary doubt and hurt those phrases had created.

He glanced over at the boy next to him and saw the same wounded look. "Jamie didn't tell us exactly what he said, but I got the feeling he felt bad about it. Mind telling me what's botherin' you the most?"

AJ's eyes were shining with unshed tears when he faced his uncle. "I thought you all liked me…especially you, Uncle Hoss. I think about you every day, and talk to Dad about you nearly as much. I pray for you and Grandpa, and Uncle Joe every night, and I got so excited once I knew we were coming to Nevada I could hardly do my studies."

"You got part a that wrong, sprout," Hoss said gently as he slid closer. "I don't just like ya, I love ya, AJ, and I don't want you to ever doubt that. Your Grandpa and Joe feel the same way."

The tears slipped over AJ's bottom lashes and splashed onto his cheeks. "Then why don't any of you talk about us, like Jamie said?" He took a deep breath. "He said no one cares: not the hands, not you or Grandpa…no one. Was he lying?"

Hoss sat up straighter, bumping his head against the low-slung roof. He understood what was going on with Jamie. It was the very reason they'd kept mute about Adam and his family since the teenager had been with them. Hoss realized now that they should have explained their reasoning better when they did start to prepare him for Adam's visit. Instead, Jamie had misinterpreted their intentions in withholding the stories about their oldest brother and his family, and then used it as a weapon.

It seemed their plan hadn't prevented Jamie's doubts about belonging in the Cartwright family anyway, and now Hoss had to explain this to a nine-year-old who shouldn't ever feel doubts over his place in their hearts. "What Jamie told you was true." He rubbed his hand over his face, and slipped his arm around the youngster's back. "The part about the crew not talking about yer daddy is easy. Adam's been gone for more'n ten years. Most cowhands only stay put a season or two, so them men out there _can't_ remember Adam, cuz they never knew him."

The big man felt AJ's shoulders relax a little. "And we _didn't_ talk about your family in front of Jamie, but it's why we done it that matters. That boy had been through a lotta sorrow and some terrible bad circumstances when Pa brought him here. Jamie felt outa place at first. Can you understand that?"

AJ shrugged.

"I remember hearing about when you started at that new school with all them other smart kids. I bet that was hard fer you too. Think how hard it would have been if yer teachers had constantly talked about the best student they'd ever known, and compared you to that person. You would'a gotten tired of hearin' that all the time, right?"

The child's response came out of a lopsided smile. "Yes."

"Yer grandpa decided that's how it would feel for Jamie if we talked about yer family as much as we usually did. We all agreed that he should get comfortable with us, before we started bringin' up the part that wasn't here." Hoss drew his arm tighter around his nephew. "If we'd a told him all the great things your family does, and how smart you and Lizzy are, it might'a made him think he didn't measure up."

AJ looked up to meet Hoss's eyes. "It's not fun living in a shadow when you can't see what's making it."

"Yer a smart boy, AJ. The three of us never really stopped talking about ya'll or rememberin' you. We just did it when Jamie wasn't around. We'd wait til he'd go to school or bed before sharin' our letters from yer family; talkin' about our trip to Boston a couple years back or wonderin' out loud what you were all up to."

Hoss scooted forward and then moved forward in a crouch until he got to the center of the ceiling where he could stand. He held out his hand. "Come with me. There're a few things you should see."

AJ followed his uncle into his grandfather's bedroom and looked around.

"Pa is pretty private about his room, but he won't mind." Hoss walked to the dresser and motioned AJ over. The flat surface was filled with frames. "This here picture is your grandma Elizabeth, but I 'spect you know that."

The boy nodded. "Great-grandpa Abel and Daddy have one like this."

"This here is Marie, Joe's Mom." Hoss held a small picture out for AJ to see. "I was about five-years-old when she married Pa, and I remember her pretty good." He replaced Marie's picture and picked up Inger's. "And this here is my mama. Adam knew her, but I didn't."

"Dad told us about her, and had us say a prayer to remember her when the train passed near where she's buried." He took the frame and carried it to the brighter light by the window. "She has kind eyes."

Hoss sniffed, and yanked the handkerchief from his pocket to blow his nose. "Adam and Pa say she was kind to everyone. And thank you for thinkin' about her on the way." After resetting that frame, he pointed to another group of pictures. "The rest of these are all people you should recognize." AJ nodded and smiled at the small portraits of his family. "I've asked Pa why he doesn't put these downstairs, and he said he likes to see you before he closes his eyes, and then first thing when he opens them."

He took the boy's hand and walked him to the head of the bed and indicated a painted portrait of AJ's family, done from a picture they'd sent. "Pa had the artist color yer clothes just as he remembered them from when we was in Boston." Hoss gave AJ a minute to look at the details and then turned him towards the door. "C'mon kiddo, there's more."

The pair headed downstairs to the bookshelves behind his father's desk and opened the doors of the bottom cabinet. "Those three boxes are the letters Pa's been keeping ever since yer daddy first went to Boston for school." Hoss sat in the green leather chair and took his nephew's hands. "Joe and me got boxes like that in our rooms with the letters you done sent to us. All of them have been read, reread, passed around so we'd all see them, and then read again. Some nights when I'm thinkin' about you, I'll pull out my box and read til I can't read no more."

AJ had been standing at a distance, but he moved forward, wrapping his arms around the big man.

Hoss pulled the boy onto his lap and kissed the top of his head. "The things I done showed you keep us goin' when you're so far away." Hoss squeezed AJ harder. "Jamie's doin' fine, but all of you being here is pokin' at some feelin's he wasn't expectin', and I think you can understand why that is." He felt AJ nod against his chest.

Hoss held his nephew for a few minutes longer as he thanked God for the chance to know this little version of his older brother. There'd been many times when Adam had held him like this when he'd been sad or afraid as a child, and he couldn't help but think of the blessing he'd been given with this chance to return his brother's care. Hoss gave a final squeeze and said, "Well them steers out there are waitin' on us, so we best get goin'."

 **Please continue to Part 2 - where the Cartwright's visit to the west takes an unexpected turn.**

Notes:

1Elizabeth's story is like one my young grandson told me about a deer at the hospital where he'd gone to visit that bit his finger when he tried to feed it. To this day, I don't know if he saw a deer and concocted the story or if he just dreamed it all up.

2Adam met Ruth 10 years after their initial encounter (the Savage episode) in my story called, _Reunions_. She tells him all that happened to her after she'd left with the Shoshone, including finding her father still alive and doing well, and admitted that she couldn't have been the woman Adam wanted her to be.

3 Adam and Melinda went to the Ponderosa in the third story of this series called, _In Search of Safety_.

I have a suspicion that the images I've posted showing the Railroad and Oregon Trail maps will not post correctly. If you'd like to see them, you can PM me and I'll send you that page. So sorry for the formatting problems.

 **This map** shows the route of the Transcontinental Railroad. To get to Omaha, Adam and his family would have traveled south to New York from Boston, and then crossed over to Chicago where they'd have gotten on west-bound tracks leading to Omaha.

Comparing the Oregon Trail map in Nebraska and Wyoming to the Transcontinental Railway map, shows that the tracks followed the historic wagon route quite closely. The Bonanza episode where Hoss is born and Inger dies, takes place in Nebraska with the wagon train trying to reach Ash Hollow (arrow on the map) to join with another group before proceeding to Ft. Laramie, Wyoming, a cavalry post where they'd winter. (The star on the map) Ash Hollow sits at the bottom of a steep hill, and the episode shows the wagons barreling downward to reach the meeting point. It is said that so many wagons made that same downhill run that the ruts formed by the wheels on that hill are still visible. Inger died in Ash Hollow and was buried there. Since they only missed the other wagon train by days, Ben made the decision to move ahead to Fort Laramie.


	2. Unspeakable Acts - Part 2

**Unspeakable Acts -Part Two**

 **Unexpected Turns**

 **One**

The second week of the Boston Cartwrights' stay had passed as quickly as the first, leaving Adam and Melinda to decide whether their children could handle staying at the Ponderosa while they made their short trip to San Francisco. They'd never been separated overnight, but AJ and Lizzy we so comfortable with their grandfather and uncles that they'd gone ahead with their plans.

They'd left the ranch at dawn to catch the morning stage for Reno, hoping to arrive in time for the mid-day train west, and were delighted to be the only passengers, at least to Goat Springs.

"This is nice." Adam stretched out as the stage pulled out of Virginia City. A grin tugged at the corner of his lips. "I think it went pretty well this morning. There were no tears or carrying-on when we left."

Melinda nodded. "Neither of them looked unhappy, much less cried."

He took her hand and kissed it. "I wasn't talking about our 'sprouts' crying, my love. I meant you."

"Very funny, Adam," she snarled in mock annoyance. "I saw that sad look cross your face when you turned back at the edge of the yard and realized they'd already gone inside with your family. You're as sentimental about being away from those two as I am." She laughed at his startled look and eventual nod of agreement, and then withdrew a notebook from her purse. "Let's go through our schedule to see if we've included everything."

When they finished discussing their plans, Melinda turned the conversation to their activity from the previous day. "I enjoyed spending yesterday afternoon with the Myers family." She covered her mouth to hide her grin.

"I think you enjoyed it a little too much." The statement was issued in a surly tone as Adam's cheeks turned pink.

"You should have told me about your near engagement to Abigail Myers…formerly…Jones." The grin widened, while she gave him a doe-eyed look. "I thought you'd told me about _all_ your old romances."

"Can we change the subject?" Adam turned away, and then sighed as he turned back. "That's the kind of trouble I always got into when I cooperated with a scheme my brothers thought up." He sighed again. "I imagine Abigail explained how we came to know each other."

"She said you were kind to her when she and her mother settled in the area. You two were nearly the same age, and you both read and liked to talk about your favorite stories. She also mentioned that she'd taken her teaching exam, but since there was no school here, you got your father to pay her to tutor your brothers."

"She did a good job. I was happy when the town could finally afford a school."

Melinda chuckled. "It sounds like 'Little' Joe was a handful. He played the class clown and was always in trouble. She said you had to speak with her about his behavior when Ben was out of town. Other than that both your brothers did well scholastically."

Adam nodded. "Joe acted up _most_ when Pa was away. This was after I'd gotten home from college, and had taken on more responsibilities in his absence. Sometimes I think Joe did it because he knew how uncomfortable it made me to talk to her."

"Why was that?" She smiled expectantly.

"Abigail would tell me about Joe, and then broach subjects that had nothing to do with his transgressions. There'd be a reference to an upcoming social, and hints that she was available for 'someone' to escort." The sad change of tone in his voice ended Melinda's grinning, and she reached for his hand. "I was the only one around here who appreciated Abigail's intellect. Men didn't know what to do with a woman who wouldn't bat her eyes, stated her own opinion, or let the man do all the talking. I think she assumed that my appreciation would turn into romantic feelings. It was an unfortunate jump to the wrong conclusion when I came courting for Hank. He breathed a deep sigh. "I was…surprised when you told me you'd met Abigail in town. I was even more surprised that she'd invited us over...and that you'd accepted."

"Abigail said she'd read my books about situational teaching when they were first published. She only realized you'd married _the_ Melinda Hayworth from those books when talking to your father recently. I found her charming."

"You two got along well." A smile replaced his serious frown. "It was good to see what a sweet couple Abigail and Hank make and how well they're doing. We were all surprised when Hank first told us he had his heart set on marrying Abigail. But seeing them now, I understand that their differences complement each other." He laughed good-naturedly. "And yesterday was going so well…until Hank brought up their unusual courtship."

"He did have a good time telling me all the details," Melinda said as she chuckled. "And…despite your discomfort during that romantic fiasco, your efforts went towards a noble cause. Abigail and Hank's children, Sean and Elaine, got along so well with AJ and Lizzy. It was wonderful for them to have playmates their own ages."

He smiled as he wrapped his arm around his wife. "It was a nice day, despite a few embarrassing moments."

She thought a moment. "Did you tell your father about Abigail's offer to host our two for a day while we're gone?"

"I gave him her note, and he said he'd work something out." He raised his eyebrows as he observed his wife pull out a ball of yarn from her bag and begin working the four needles she used when knitting a circular pattern. "I don't suppose those are baby booties?"

"Mittens for next winter." She looked up at him and shook her head, before returning to her knitting.

He stretched and yawned. "I guess I could read, but…" He sent Melinda a wink. "Since we're the only ones in here and there's a lot of room to spread out, I'm thinking we might do something we haven't gotten to do lately."

"I was thinking the same thing. It's impossible to do it at the ranch without someone knocking on our bedroom door before we ever get started." She stowed her project. "In fact, I came prepared for just such an opportunity," she said as she yanked a compressed feather pillow from her travel bag and shook it back into shape. She reached in again, withdrawing a decorative pillow she'd taken from their bedroom at the Ponderosa.

"You are brilliant," Adam said with a sweeping bow from the waist up. He took the large pillow and wedged it between his head and the corner while stretching his legs diagonally across the floor of the coach. "All right, I'm ready for you".

Melinda removed her jacket and hat, placing them on the vacant seat, and then tucked the smaller pillow under her head on Adam's chest, slipping one arm behind him and draping the other across his lap.

Eventually the coach silenced, except for the team's huffing and pounding hooves, the whir of wheels, and soft snores from the napping couple.

 **Two**

Ben had assigned AJ and Jamie to barn duty and sent Lizzy to help Hop Sing in the garden to keep them from thinking about their parents. Hoss and Joe had plans for everyone after lunch, but they'd gone to bring a couple of steers in from a near pasture to show at the Cattlemen's Association meeting coming up on Saturday.

With everyone occupied, Ben began entering figures into his ledger. However, the quiet outside made him curious, and he went to check. Once out of the house, he could hear Lizzy talking to Hop Sing in the garden, so he made his way to the barn. The boys were working in different stalls, but nothing indicated their quiet was anything more than concentration.

After Ben found out what Jamie had told AJ about no one caring about Adam's family, he'd taken his adopted son aside and clarified why he hadn't been told him much about the oldest Cartwright son. Jamie had accepted his explanation, and then confessed that hearing about the close relationship between Adam and AJ had poked at him and made him angry. He'd also said that although he was happy with things as they were, seeing AJ and Adam together had made him miss his father.

The admission hadn't shocked or offended Ben, and he'd reminded Jamie that he wasn't expected to forget his own father. The only caution he'd given was that hurting someone else never made your own situation feel better. The discussion had ended with Ben's promise that Jamie could ask his new family about anything he wasn't sure of.

Ben hadn't forced an apology. He'd told Jamie to talk to AJ when he worked it out in his own mind. He wasn't sure if they'd spoken yet, but he had seen Jamie relax into the Cartwright family in the past week.

With the chores progressing silently without problem between his son and grandson, he decided to leave them be, and made his way back to his paperwork.

Jamie stopped after pitching the last of the dirty straw from his stall onto the wheelbarrow, and leaned on the handle of the fork. "So what does AJ stand for?"

"It's a long story." AJ snickered. "My dad never liked it when people named their boys after themselves because they almost always ended up calling the kid, 'Junior'."

"I can't say I care for Junior either," Jamie offered. "But what's that got to do with those initials?"

"Mom wanted me named after my dad, and he couldn't refuse her. My actual name is Adam Stoddard Cartwright…Junior. Rather than have two Adam's in the house, they call me AJ—short for Adam Junior."

Jamie nodded. "Ain't it interesting when someone gives in to please another person?" Silence enveloped the boys again until the older boy added, "Sometimes I think I was meant to belong to this family. Your pa and Hoss never knew their mothers, and Joe's died when he was young." He paused and looked at his feet. "My mother died when I was two."

"I'm sorry. You probably know that my grandmother died when my dad was born, but her father lives with us in Boston. He tells us stories about Grandma Elizabeth. And even though my uncles lost their mothers, they had each other."

Jamie chuckled. "My mother's name was Elizabeth, and she was from Boston too. My father told me about her. Do you know that I have a grandfather in Boston too? I might'a been your neighbor if my granddad had gotten his way."

"What do you mean?"

"My ma and pa ran away together, and Grandpa had been looking for them for years. He had detectives following leads, and they found me just as Ben was going to adopt me. He came here to take me back East. He had big plans for my life, but by then I wanted to be a Cartwright and stay on the Ponderosa. It took a little getting used to, but he finally agreed that this would be the best life for me now. I write to him, and I'll go see him one day. Hey," He grinned as he pictured his next thought. "Maybe Pa, Hoss, Joe and I'll all head to Boston next summer. I can visit my grandfather while they spend time with your family."

AJ returned the grin. "That would be nice. I'd like you to visit us too."

The work continued as Jamie climbed to the loft and tossed down fresh hay. They got that into nets and mangers, and then sat on the tack boxes to take a break. The familiar chores and locale surrounding his blunder the previous week began weighing on Jamie's mind. "Pa told me why they never shared much about your family, and I'm sorry for the things I said. I guess I was nervous about meeting you all. And while I shouldn't criticize Pa, it might have been easier if they'd all just acted normally about having another son who's doggone smart and successful."

"I understand." AJ giggled. "We're an intimidating group when the eastern and western Cartwrights get together."

"That's how families should be." Jamie jumped off the box. "Let's get done and see what else Pa wants us to do. I suspect there're still a lot of beans hanging on the vines. Your sister does a lot more talking than picking."

 **Three**

Melinda opened her eyes and looked around their room as she stretched. It had been late when they'd arrived last evening, and the lamplight had cloaked their suite at the Occidental Hotel in shadows. Daylight was bathing every corner now, revealing the exquisite details and décor. She remembered that if she ventured outside the soft nest of their bed, her toes would meet a plush carpet, and she'd only need to walk a few steps into their private bath. They'd stayed in some beautiful rooms before, but never anything this lavish. Yet it would meet their business needs over the next few days, and had already well-served their private needs.

After completing the trip that had begun at the crack of dawn, Melinda had expected to head for bed soon after they'd checked in last night. She smiled as she recalled walking into their suite and finding the iced champagne and light supper Adam had arranged with a telegram from their final train stop.

Everything in the room was organized. The clothing they'd left on their Pullman had been delivered to the hotel earlier, and had been hung in the closet or placed in drawers. Adam must have been just as tired as she was, but he pampered her; attending to her every need, and never letting her glass empty. They'd eaten, and continued drinking until they'd finished the champagne and then another bottle of Chablis with their meal. They'd been happily tipsy as they'd made love, and fallen asleep in each other's arms.

Today they were free to explore until late afternoon when Ruth Halversen would be joining them. If all went well concerning the book, they'd have dinner and attend a revue. When Adam had talked to Ruth previously, she had confessed to not appreciating classical music or dramatic theater, so he had found a show they could all enjoy.

Melinda had looked forward to meeting Ruth. Adam had told her about his Mountain of the Dead experience before they had married, so there'd been backstory to fill in when he told her about unexpectedly meeting Ruth in San Francisco. He'd told her about all of the women he'd cared for during their years apart. She hadn't expected that, but he'd said he'd rather be up front rather than trying to explain something if it came up later. Reading the rewritten manuscript had given her a lot to think about. It hadn't changed her trust in Adam's story, but she was now uneasy about today's introduction.

But that was a worry she could postpone, and she sighed in the joy of these few days together with her first and only love. Lifting the bedding, she took a long look at the man in bed with her. The heavy workload of the last two years, along with the outdoor chores he did at the estate, had made his body sleek and muscular. It was hairy too, but that made her smile. She'd often call him her grizzly bear as she'd cuddle up to him on cold nights.

Something poked her hand as she replaced the covers, and she extracted a feather from the woven fabric of the quilt. She grinned as she tickled Adam's nose with the escaped ticking. He was still sleeping soundly, but the irritant woke him enough to swat at his face. Once he settled back into rhythmic breathing, she tickled his ear. This time the swat came faster and harder.

She was about to use the feather in a more intimate area of his body when a sour, burning bubble of stomach acid raced up her throat, making her sit up and gag. "That's what I get for drinking and eating so late last night," she mumbled before racing to the bathroom. She'd been experiencing indigestion every few days lately, but she assumed it was the stress of travel and rush of preparation. Fortunately she'd remembered to a bicarbonate powder that she mixed into a glass of water. It helped but she was still feeling a little queasy when she went back to the bedroom.

Adam's eyes opened wide and his brows rose when he saw her. "Are you all right, sweetheart?" he asked. "It sounded like you were getting sick."

She sat next to him on the bed. "Too much traveling, rich food, and wine yesterday. It's already passing and I'm looking forward to our getaway." She leaned to kiss him and ran her hands down his bare chest. "You are a most magnificent looking man, my dear."

"I'll say the same of you, my love, and while I'd like to see where this mutual admiration would take us, you still look a little pale. How about you relax in a hot bath, and I'll order tea, toast and soft boiled eggs to put your stomach on a more even keel. If you feel better after that, we'll head out and see the town."

Adam had seen his wife speak before packed auditoriums, both when she was trying to enlist support for the school she wanted to open, and years earlier in Sacramento when He'd snuck into one of her early seminars when she'd been promoting her teaching system. And as good as she was in those situations; no one could withstand her force of reason when arguing one-on-one. He often wished he could convince her to lead the sales department at his company.

But as _this_ day ticked away and their meeting with Ruth approached, he noticed that Melinda was increasingly fidgety. She'd asked the time every five minutes in the last half-hour, and had become peevish when he'd lingered over a display of pipes, trying to choose one as a birthday gift for his father. He'd walked slowly, stopping often to check some thingamajig in a store window, while trying to be witty and engage her in determining what an item's unintended use could be. But her exaggerated sighs were getting too loud to be ignored. This wasn't like her, and yet he supposed it couldn't be easy to meet a woman from his past. Especially one with whom he'd shared intimate moments, even if not the intimacy contained in the rewritten manuscript. He'd hoped that delaying their return to their hotel suite would keep her mind from the impending visit. But when he glanced over and saw that that her uneasiness was becoming irritation , he took her arm, and led them on the most direct course to the hotel.

Melinda's pursed lips and death grip on the cord of her small purse indicated that there was to be no small-talk during the last few blocks of their walk, so Adam let his mind drift to the cause for his wife's discomfort. He took a deep breath, and released it slowly. The sigh was not frustration, but rather his deep remorse over the reason this proud and capable woman was in distress. He took another quick glance to his left and saw what he expected. Her facial expression was still locked in deep lines of apprehension.

Reassuring her would be futile, but he could let her know that he understood. They stopped at the corner as a large wagon turned onto the street in front of them. In the midst of the impatient rush around them, he reached for Melinda's hand. She resisted at first and then allowed him to grasp it tightly as he brought it to his lips. He leaned close to her ear, and said, "Remember that I will be at your side today and for all days to come. You never have to face anything alone." The lines around her mouth softened into a delicate smile as she brought their entwined hands to her cheek. When the wagon got on its way, he stepped into the street and pulled her along. "Come, my lady. If we hurry, we'll have time to relax."

Melinda removed her hat pin when she entered their suite and tossed the small straw headpiece onto the dresser as she walked into the bedroom. "This is such a lovely place," she called back to Adam in the sitting room. The bodice jacket of her two-piece dress was the next item shed before she sunk into the overstuffed chair and stretched out in an unladylike sprawl.

Adam hung his coat in the outer room, and smiled when he found Melinda dangling over the edges of her chair like a drunken sailor. "Ruth isn't due until four. Would you like a nap?"

"I'm sorry my behavior abbreviated our outing." She sighed. "I'm not even sure why I'm so uneasy. I've been corresponding with Ruth for a couple of years. She's always been sweet, thoughtful, and honest. I think the change in the book is part of it, but I'm feeling a little emotional about a lot of things lately."

"Don't apologize. We've been through a lot of changes in the last couple of years, and even though we planned this trip, the date seemed to arrive far faster than expected, making us rush to get everything ready. These few days for us are meant for relaxation and fun. We'll do what we please, when we please." He sat on the arm of the chair and leaned over to kiss the top of her head. "Besides, there aren't many wives who would embrace a woman who'd been part of their husband's past."

She chuckled, and slid deeper into the cushion. "I'm betting that right now she's just as nervous as I am."

Adam teased, "Might she think you're not good enough for me?"

"That's not it, my darling. She'll be wondering if I think _she_ was good enough for you." She grinned up at him. "Since we have plenty of time, let's go in the other room and review the items in we want to discuss from her manuscript."

They'd already marked the document as they'd read it on the train, so it took little time to cover the salient points and formulate their questions.

"I want this to be a nice evening, Adam." Melinda had stretched out on the sofa, resting her head on his lap. "We both feel there's a simple explanation, but you'll know instantly if she's changed."

He ran his fingers down the curve of her face. "If she has, then you will return her revision, and there'll be no further contact."

She sat up and faced him. "I have no idea how to approach this, so I'm just going to say it."

His brows dove toward his nose. "That sounded ominous."

"I believe your account of those days. Yet," she lifted the manuscript, pointing to a particular tab, "this page says that the two of you 'became one' on the banks of a lake. You've told me that's a lie."

Adam lifted Melinda's chin. "But you want to make sure that there'll be no retraction."

"I want your assurance that you haven't pushed some memories to the back of your mind."

She looked away and he turned her face so she could see him. "It would take a lot of pushing to forget something like that." He smiled and pulled her onto his lap. "My thoughts weren't as clear as they should have been back then. But my intention was always to protect Ruth; to fill her with the wonder of all she'd been missing, and give her a push into the world again. What kind of man would I have been if I'd have used her naiveté and budding trust in others—men in particular—to take advantage of her for my satisfaction."

"I know you are an honorable man."

"The act of _making love_ should come after a couple grows so strong together that they can't imagine life apart." He kissed her as he whispered. "Does that sound familiar?"

"It was that way for us," Melinda said before wrapping her arms around his neck.

He lifted her from the couch and carried her into the other room. "My darling, Melinda," he purred as he laid her gently on the bed. "I may have cared for other women during our time apart, but from the day I saw you again in Sacramento, I could only picture your face beneath me as I thought about making love. Yours was the only heart I wanted beating next to me as I slept; the only hand I could envision in mine, and the only woman I could imagine as the mother of my children. You were the part of me I thought I'd lost. The night you proposed, I felt my heart beat fully for the first time since I left you in Sacramento, and I could finally breathe again."2

Melinda glanced at the mantel clock as she sat up and stretched. "That was a wonderful respite from my apprehensions," she said as she leaned over and ran her finger down Adam's bare chest. "But Ruth will be here in an hour, so we'd better get ready."

He took her hand. "If you continue to do that, neither one of us will make it out of this bed in time." He joined her in stretching and then pulled her close. "Why don't you get started and I'll straighten things in here."

She'd made it to the closet, but stalled as she stared inside. With a quick glance back, she asked, "How should I dress for the revue?"

"We need dressy attire for dining in the grand salon of the hotel." He laughed. "I remember attending revues at saloons when we'd be on cattle drives. They were awful, but as long as there were pretty girls and enough liquor, the men didn't care about the lack of quality entertainment."

"I've been wanting to wear this one." She pulled a buttery beige dress out and held it to herself.

"That's the one you had made using part of your aunt's dress?"

"When I was young and stayed with my aunt, I'd sneak into her room, put on that dress and pretend I was going to some fancy ball. I was so excited when we found it in the attic of our house before we moved." She smoothed out the skirt to take a better look at the ornately stitched, wide satin panel that was inset 12-inches above the hem. "The seamstress was able to salvage that gorgeous embroidered section from the original dress. The fabric was faded, but she was able to find satin that matched up nicely. I think this color is even prettier than the original. The one thing the dressmaker couldn't save was the belt. It was about six inches wide, and embroidered with the same pattern as the section in the skirt. She substituted a sash made from a darker colored ribbon. It's not as striking this way, but it's still beautiful."

"I'm sure the effect will be just as lovely because of the woman wearing it," he said, before turning away to smile.

The hotel had stocked their room with a choice of aperitifs, and Melinda planned to indulge in something to calm her nerves when Ruth got there. Yet she wanted to be clearheaded now, so she busied herself plumping pillows and relocating the manuscript so it would be noticeable, while not obvious.

Adam gave his wife an approving once-over when he exited the bedroom. "The dress fits you perfectly." He tilted his head as he added, "You're right about that belt, though."

Melinda's cheeks pinked as a hurt look flashed across her face. "Well, if it looks that bad, I'll change."

He reared back for a moment, not expecting her angry response, but relaxed and laughed. "No need for that." He winked as he held out a flat, wrapped box. "I just thought this might work better."

She sat on the edge of the couch to remove the paper and open the lid. "Oh!" she gasped, as she lifted the item from inside. "How?" The gift remained in her hand as she sprang up and hugged her husband. "Were they able to save this after all?"

Adam took the belt from Melinda's hand, removed the sash from around her waist, and slipped the surprise into place. "I knew how much that dress meant to you, and asked your dressmaker to contact me with a gift idea for something to go with it. Lana sent a note to the office saying the belt couldn't be saved, but that it could be copied by a friend if I'd care to pay for that. They recreated the pattern on a sturdier fabric than the original, and once embroidered, Lana attached a backing so it could enclose a woven, whalebone form she made. She thinks it will hold its shape instead of folding over on itself as the original must have."

Melinda walked to the mirror and checked the new accessory, giving it her nod of approval. "It's a work of art, and completes the dress." She pulled him close when she returned, and stared up at him. "I'm sorry I overreacted. It seems I'm saying that a lot lately. But I'll be fine once this evening gets going."

The long kiss of thanks she was giving him ended abruptly when there was a knock.

"I'll get it," Adam said quietly, moving toward the door while Melinda picked up the wrapping paper and box, and carried them into the bedroom.

Ruth and Adam were across the room talking when Melinda stopped in the bedroom doorway on her way back. They weren't facing her, so she stayed in the shadow to observe. She knew Ruth to be in her mid-thirties, and from what Melinda could see of her profile, she looked her age in a good way. The woman she knew only through letters wasn't as tall as she'd imagined, yet her bearing made her appear taller. She was full-figured, nearly heavy through her torso and hips, and yet she wore it easily, and her light purple brocade dress suited her curves.

Melinda caught a glimpse of her own brown hair in the mirror above the fireplace, and did a mental comparison to the heavy golden braids crowning Ruth's head. It struck her that this was a woman Adam would have been attracted to even if they'd have met under different circumstances. Her carriage and manner spoke to strength of character, and as the other woman turned a little more toward her, Melinda realized how striking Ruth was. Her skin was flawless and her cheeks were tinted a peachy-rose from the sun. Ruth wore a hint of a smile; an expression that flattered her wide-set facial features and created an aura of innocence that instinctively made you want to protect her.

The feelings created by this first glimpse rushed at Melinda's heart, making her understand how close she must have come to losing Adam to this woman. She thanked God for whatever grace had sent them on their separate ways again without lingering regret for what might have been. She bit her lip and inhaled deeply before crossing the room. "You must be Ruth." She greeted the woman with a smile and outstretched hand.

The pleasantries of a first meeting proceeded as Ruth and Melinda sipped sherry and Adam nursed a scotch.

Ruth asked the expected questions about the couple's children, and inquired about Adam's father and brothers whom she'd met during their previous encounter. She told them about her father's passing and inheriting enough money to be free of financial worries. It had been a few months since they'd received a letter from her, so she finished a quick recap with the news of renting a small house, and working at St. Mary's Hospital.

"Have you thought of becoming a nurse?" Melinda asked.

"The nuns from the Sisters of Mercy allowed me to work with them so I'd learn the 'physiologic norms', as they called it. They knew of my background with the Bannock and Shoshone, and were willing to show me traditional medicine to enhance my 'other' methods of healing." She chuckled. "I think their goal was to indoctrinate me into 'real medicine', yet they were always kind, and in the end we learned a lot from each other. While I was at St. Mary's, I met a Chinese healer. Dr. Kim and I often spoke of our backgrounds with the ancient and herbal healing arts. I mentioned wanting to open a store that featured such alternatives, and he offered to lend his expertise."

Adam's brows dipped. "Is Dr. Kim an M.D.?"

"He and his sister, Yuan, came to the states as the wards of a missionary doctor to the Orient who had strong ties to a medical school back East. That school allowed Kim to attend medical classes, but he was not allowed to graduate and practice medicine. I call him Dr. Kim because he's as astute and trained as any other medical man I've met. Kim and Yuan work at the hospital with the Chinese who need treatment. They're are able to translate, and often those patients are very suspicious and unwilling to allow American doctors to examine them. Kim does the exam while another physician takes notes, and they come up with a plan of treatment. It's a very successful program, serving a great need."

"Have you moved ahead with your idea to open a store?" Melinda asked.

"We found a shop to rent and hope to open soon…if the city approves it. That's a big 'if'. I've heard that such approvals are secured only with cash, and I don't have enough money for bribes." Ruth smiled and eyed her hosts. "Now that you know of my latest venture, I'd like to hear more about your ventures."

Adam shot a look towards his wife after checking the time on his pocket watch. "Let's talk about that at dinner. We'd like to discuss something privately before heading downstairs."

Ruth's eyes came to rest on the manuscript. "I imagine you're referring to that." She nodded toward the document. "Our conversation has been extremely pleasant, but I've seen glances passing between you, and Melinda has repeatedly looked at that table."

A red blush crept up Melinda's neck until her cheeks were flushed to a deep rose. "I'm sorry I was so obvious. You are as wonderful in person as I imagined you'd be from your letters, and everything feels so normal between all of us that I hesitate bringing this up."

"What's wrong?" Ruth's voice rose with concern and her breathing quickened.

Adam nodded toward his wife. "Melinda and I read your rewrite on our way to Nevada, and," he looked directly at Ruth, "we were both surprised at the drastic changes."

She'd risen and begun pacing as Adam had spoken, and now stopped in front of the table, picking up the document. "I'm not sure what you're referring to, but I should explain. The revision was done by a woman writer recommended by to me by a friend. Francine had written articles for the Chronicle and edited other books, so I'd assumed she could easily make the corrections Melinda had suggested. We met several times after she read the original, and she asked a multitude of questions. I heard nothing for several months after that, and figured she'd decided not to do it. I sent a note saying that you were coming for this visit and I'd like to have the rewrite or get the original by then. She replied that she was nearly done."

"Were you aware that she'd sent it?" Melinda asked.

Ruth stopped in front of the couch where Melinda was sitting. "I was shocked and upset when the next note I received said she'd finished it and mailed it. I couldn't recall giving her your address. But with as well-known as you and Adam are, I'm sure it would have been delivered with: Adam Cartwright, Boston." She laughed bitterly. "I stopped at her apartment several times, but she never answered the door. I sent a note demanding to know why she'd done that, and she said it was so you'd be able to go through it before you visited." She shook her head. "That made sense."

Melinda pursed her lips. "Adam and I suspected it was something like that." Melinda motioned for Ruth to sit next to her on the couch.

"Is it written so poorly?" Ruth asked as she came over.

Adam sat on the edge of the coffee table where the manuscript had been. "The change is in the content. We've marked a few passages that show the essence of that." He took the book from her and opened it to the Forward, before handing it back.

Ruth's eyes widened as she scanned the paragraph noting the absence of a happy ending, but she withheld comment, and paged to the next tab. "Am I to understand that the first section is only thirty pages long now?" she said incredulously. "Did she rearrange the order?"

Melinda shook her head. "She didn't send the original, but the beautiful stories I remember about your early childhood are gone. It barely touches on why your father went for help, and excludes most of your account of learning and adapting to life with the Bannock. What she did was like someone using a dull scissors to hack apart a beautifully constructed tapestry. It's lifeless now, and so much is missing that the reader won't understand how you could have survived on your own." She patted Ruth's hand. "It gets worse. Go to the next bookmark."

Ruth skimmed over the page detailing her romantic coupling with Adam. The color rose in her cheeks and she stood abruptly, walked to the fireplace and threw the text into the empty grate. "This is garbage." Her eyes welled with tears as she balled her fists and crossed her arms. "She's twisted that time, making it seem like a playful picnic in the park between two teenagers. The beginning of the transformation I experienced is completely lost in the language of a romance novel." Ruth stomped her foot in anger as she tried to control her emotions. "How could she!" She grabbed her wrap and purse from the chair where she'd left them and moved toward the door. "I should go," she said as her voice cracked in a sob. She brought her hands up to cover her face as she failed to contain her tears.

Adam moved quickly, taking Ruth's shoulders. His voice was sincere and soothing. "We'd already decided it was a fabrication. Let's figure out what to do now, and then we'll put it aside and go out to celebrate old and new friendships."

"I should have known…," she sniffed as she moved her head side-to-side.

"Known what, Ruth?" Melinda asked.

She pulled a lacy handkerchief from her purse and dabbed at her eyes. "I've already mentioned Francine's…inquisitions. The part that piqued her interest most was the few days with Adam. She asked questions about him, and eventually tried to put words in my mouth. She accused me of being too prudish to say what really happened. I assured her that it was Adam's kindness and encouragement that allowed me to walk away from him." She'd paced away, but returned to address Adam. "I tried to explain that I needed to be more than White Buffalo Woman or Adam Cartwright's woman. I had to find Ruth Halversen and be my own woman."

"But Francine couldn't accept that as a…happy ending," Adam offered.

She sighed and shook her head. "She insinuated that I was sugarcoating things so your wife wouldn't find out the truth." Her voice hitched again. "And _that_ proved how much I really loved you, and how we belonged together. When I said none of that was true and wanted the original back, she agreed to do it my way, and apologized profusely for reading too much into it."

Melinda let go a ragged breath. "Then she did it her way and sent it off." A wry, lopsided smile broke on her face. "Did she know that 'Adam's wife' would be reading the revision?"

"I'd told her that you had done the original edit. I foolishly shared a little more information about the two of you when she acted happy that Adam had found a wonderful life."

Melinda smiled sourly. "What better way of her helping _you_ face your supposed lies than by writing the 'real' version of your story and sending it directly to me. _She_ ' _d_ expose Adam' lies, and hopefully ruin our marriage." Melinda laughed as she leaned over and hugged Ruth. "She thought I'd send him packing and he'd head straight to you."

Ruth looked from Melinda to Adam and started to laugh too. "I don't think it worked." They all laughed until Ruth's tears of anger became ones of shared irony. "So where do we go from here?

"We could publish it as a dime novel." Adam grinned

"You are still a tease, Adam Cartwright." Ruth gave him a scathing glance and laughed more. "I'll tell Fran that her version was…um…interesting, but that I've decided to axe the project."

Melinda's eye twinkled. "Do you have the original manuscript?"

"Fran still has it. Why do you ask?"

"I'd like to make the corrections I suggested. It will take some time, but you'll be busy starting your store so you won't notice. But I want you in Boston next summer. You'll stay with us while we do the final edit, and then we'll get it published."

"You'd do this after reading that?" She nodded toward the hearth.

"I saw your reaction as you read those passages. Your face is a window to your soul, Ruth, and I saw how betrayed you felt. I'd be honored to make this right."

Adam excused himself to get his suit coat, and came back to find the women laughing. "You two look like you've swallowed a canary, and I'm betting I'm the bird."

"You're too suspicious, my love," Melinda said as she joined him and slipped her arm around his waist. "Although you're right this time. Ruth mentioned your beard and then told me she tossed a knife at your head after she caught you looking through her things to find her father's razor. She's going to teach me how to throw a carving knife when she visits Boston."

 **Four**

Ben walked to the windows above his desk and peered out. He'd gotten in touch with Abigail Myers and offered to have her children spend Thursday at the Ponderosa, and in return, she would take Adam's two on Saturday while the Cartwrights attended the Cattlemen's meeting.

Sean and AJ had spent the morning riding, while Lizzy and Elaine had played inside. During Ben's trips through the living area he'd seen the girls acting our domestic scenes using the combined collection of their dolls. Hearing the sounds of young voices in the house and yard made him long for this to be a regular condition.

All four children had headed outside after lunch, and he'd heard them shouting and laughing as they'd played. But it had become unnervingly quiet, and he wondered what they were doing. He relaxed when he saw them by the barn, engaged in a game where it seemed all communication had to be accomplished with hand signals. He chuckled as he watched, and then sat down again, letting his mind slip to Hoss and Joe, and the quiet of bachelorhood that had become the norm in this house. He remained convinced that his youngest son would fall in love hard and fast one day. His marriage would soon follow.

It was different for his middle son. Ben had begun to wonder if Hoss had given up on marrying. Everyone liked Hoss, yet that hadn't kept him from becoming the topic of town gossip when Ben had adopted Jamie. The judgmental wagging tongues had speculated that Ben Cartwright had to find his own grandchild since Hoss seemed incapable of getting the job done.

It would do no good to push Hoss. Ben had seen the futility of romantic desperation when Adam had felt pressed into proposing to Laura. Thankfully that had ended before it had gotten any worse, and had forced Adam to follow his heart. There were times lately when Ben considered sending Hoss away for a while. Perhaps without the family wealth as a lure, or the shadows of his previous romantic failures hovering over him, Hoss would find a woman who'd accept him for his gentle spirit and homey ways.

His thoughts returned to the present when he heard wagon wheels grinding over the gravelly dirt in the yard. He checked the clock and realized it must be Hank coming for his children. After noting a final figure, he closed his ledger and went to greet his former ranch hand.

The two men talked as the children said goodbye. As Hank started the team forward, Ben reminded him, "I'll drop AJ and Lizzy off around 8 AM on Saturday. Hoss will pick them up around two."

 **Five**

Adam and Melinda strolled hand-in-hand as they made their way from the restaurant to the theater. They'd had their separate meetings during the day, returning with just enough time to freshen up and dress for their dinner with Edwin Booth, the renowned actor, and Adam's friend from his college days.

"Edwin looks good, and his career seems back on track," Adam mused as they walked. "The last time I saw him was when he brought his show to Virginia City, about a year before…"1

"His brother shot President Lincoln?" Melinda supplied

He nodded. "Edwin's reputation tumbled after that, and he pulled back from public life. It didn't matter that he sided with the Union or that he disowned John after the assassination; he still bore guilt by association."

"That's over now, isn't it?"

Another nod. "He runs a successful theater in Philadelphia, and has been touring the States for about a year. I'm glad we'll see him reprise his classic role as Hamlet tonight."

Melinda moved closer, hugging his arm tightly. "It's been some time since we've seen a good Shakespearean performance." She grinned as she looked up at him. "I do have to ask if you'll be giving up your engineering profession for the stage. Edwin was quite adamant about you wasting your talent in the confines of an office."

A low chuckle rumbled from Adam's chest. "I did enjoy performing in college, although there wasn't much time for it. I met Edwin when I had a small speaking part in a production he starred in when it toured in Cambridge." He chuckled again. "I love the challenge of engineering. There's plenty of drama in the daily running of my…little empire." He wrapped his arm around Melinda's waist, pulled her close. "Enough about acting. Tell me about your day. We didn't have time to talk about that."

They each shared the high points of their meetings as they waited outside the theater. "Do you think Berkeley will go ahead with an engineering intern program like the one you do for Harvard?" Melinda asked.

"They seemed enthusiastic." He pulled her closer as the waiting crowd began to push toward the vestibule once the ushers opened the doors. "We don't have to rush. Our box seats will be easy to access once the others get inside." When the chattering quieted as the push of people eased, he asked, "What was the conclusion to your meeting? You hinted at something exciting."

Her smile grew. "Three members from the Order of St. Francis De Sales will come to Boston this fall. They're interested in my program and want to see how it works."

"That order is dedicated to educating the poor, so I can see their interest."

Melinda nodded vigorously. "They're up against the same roadblocks we've experienced. The priests agreed that even when they can convince parents to participate; their children fail because they have no basics and don't respond well to structured lessons and classroom discipline."

"They'll be excited when they see how you combat that."

"They want to meet you as well, and hope you can give them a tour of Harvard."

The world around the couple ceased as they embraced and shared a long kiss. "We are richly blessed," Adam whispered into Melinda's ear as they headed toward the doors.

One eye opened as Adam yawned. He'd been sleeping so soundly that he had to think about where he was. It was their last day in San Francisco, and he was looking forward to it, even as he looked forward to getting back to the Ponderosa and seeing his children. Last night's play had been superb, and they'd quoted lines enthusiastically as they walked to the hotel, intoxicated with the effects of a perfect day and evening. After a stop in the hotel salon for a drink, they'd headed to their room and collapsed in much needed sleep. He was feeling refreshed and playful this morning, and rolled over, pulling Melinda closer to kiss her neck.

She opened one eye to see that it was still early-morning dark, snuggled to his chest and pulled his arm around her. "Go back to sleep, sweetheart. I'm still tired. Don't despair; I'll make it worth your while to wait."

He rose onto his elbow to check the clock. "We have plenty of time, so another few minutes of shuteye might be good for both of us. But then…"

"Then, I shall make you glad that you're married to a woman who still has a few secrets up her sleeve."

His eyes popped open as he settled his head back on the pillow. "I look forward to it."

 **Six**

Ben turned back at the top of the steps and called, "AJ…Elizabeth, hurry now. We have to leave for the Myers' house." His attention was drawn to the front door after hearing a tentative knock. He recognized one of Hank's ranch hands standing there, clutching at his hat and looking uncomfortable. Ben smiled at him. "I thought I was dropping off the children on the way to town, but it will work even better if you're here to get them."

The man at the door reached into his shirt pocket, and handed Ben a folded paper. "The missus sent this for you, sir. She said to say she's…um…oh yeah…most apologetic for having to cancel at this late hour."

Once Ben's eyebrows settled back into place, he unfolded the note. The corners of his mouth dove in a frown as he realized that plans for the day would need rearranging. He reached into his pants pocket and removed a dollar coin that he tried to give Hank's man.

"Thank you kindly, Mr. Cartwright, but Mr. Myers already give me a little extra for riding over."

"Mr. Myers has a good man in you…ah…"

"Lyle," the man furnished.

"Thank you, Lyle. Please tell the Myers that I hope their children are well soon." He scanned the note again once the man was on his way. It revealed that Abigail's children had come down with a rash and fever during the night, and she felt it best not to expose AJ and Lizzy. Two thoughts swirled in Ben's head. The first was how he might handle the loss of childcare, and the second was a tinge of worry since all four children had been together a day earlier. "Oh well," he mumbled under his breath. "Adam and Melinda will be home tomorrow; they can handle that."

He would have asked Hop Sing to stay with AJ and Lizzy, but since the children were going to be gone all day, he'd made plans to visit his family, and had already headed into town with Joe, Hoss, and the steers they were exhibiting. There was only one solution at this late hour. He walked to the door and hollered, "Jamie, come in the house. I need to talk to you."

"Can't you take them with you to the meeting or drop them with Hop Sing in town?" Jamie asked; his face settling into a pout after hearing Ben's plan. "I'm meeting Wes and Nate at the fishing hole in an hour. I don't have time to pack more food and get horses saddled, and Wes is bringing some cousins along. They're even older than we are, so AJ and Lizzy won't have any fun with us."

Ben's eyebrows had risen slowly, but steadily while listening to Jamie's response, even as he'd remained silent. When the boy began to bite his lip and shift his shoulders as though the skin had suddenly become too tight, Ben spoke in a quiet, but forceful voice. "You'd rather have me take them to a this cattle meeting—the one that even you're too young to attend—or find Hop Sing and have him give up his day off so that you're not inconvenienced?" He paused, not expecting a reply. "I can send Hoss home to watch them so that you can go fishing, even though he's going to be recognized at the luncheon for the work he's done in breeding the sturdier steers he's showing today. Then again I can skip the meeting even if it means that Hoss won't have his family there to cheer him on." Another quick pause. "Or you can do as I ask."

Jamie's face had reddened more with each suggestion. "I get it, Pa."

"I thought you might see the error of your ways," Ben teased. "The two of them are already dressed, and Hop Sing packed baked goods and lemonade for them to take to Abigail's. Knowing our cook, there's more than enough for all of you. Use that double saddle so they can ride together." He became thoughtful. "Hoss is going to head back early, so bring everyone here after lunch, drop AJ and Lizzy off, and then go on your way."

"I guess that'll work."

Ben noted Jamie's wrinkled forehead and pursed lips. "I thought you and AJ were getting along, so why does why does this seem such a distasteful proposition?"

"I'm sorry, Pa." Jamie's expression softened as he met Ben's stare. "I like those two," he motioned towards the steps with his head. He broke eye-contact as he looked towards his feet.

Ben breathed deeply. "So why do you look so unhappy?"

"I'm not sure. It's just that I could always tell when things were about to go bad when my pa and I were working in a town. I'd get this feeling in my gut that wouldn't leave, and that's what I've got right now."

Ben wrapped an arm around the boy's shoulder. "It's probably just the shift in plans…unless there's something else you should be telling me."

Jamie bit his lips. "Wes said his cousins can be a little rough around the edges. I don't know what that means."

"You're talking about Wes Starke?" Jamie nodded. "Dan and Marigold Starke are good parents and reverent people. I don't think I've ever heard Dan cuss. They're regular church-goers and active with the school. It's possible that these cousins are little more rowdy, but it could also be that the Starkes would think that because they're so straight-laced." He chewed his cheek. "Work out a password with AJ and Lizzy just in case… Any one of you can use it as a sign you want to leave. And then honor that no matter what."

Jamie nodded again. "That's a good idea. We're just going to fish anyway. What could happen?" He grinned at his father. "Unless Lizzy shows us all up by catching the most."

"Stop grinning like that, Adam," Melinda said as she punched his arm. "People will think we've been up to something."

He turned her around to button her dress. "We have been up to something, my love, and I can't help it if it makes me very, very happy. We've been married nearly eleven years, and today, you did something that completely surprised me."

Melinda was blushing deeply when she faced him again. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"You know…our plans are fluid today, so we could just stay in and you could surprise me again."

She grabbed his beard and pulled his face level with hers. "Stop it. You're beginning to make me feel like I've been a disappointing lover until today."

Adam pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her tightly. "You have never disappointed me. Not once; not ever. Today was a marvelous and incredible gift, and you may surprise me again whenever you're comfortable doing so." He squeezed tighter. "Might you have any other tricks up your sleeve?"

"Maybe," she mumbled into his coat. "You'll have to wait for tonight."

He reached for his wallet and handed Melinda her purse and parasol. "I'm going to look for birthday gifts for my family so I can leave them with Hop Sing instead of having to remember to mail them on time. Are you still going shopping for the kids?"

"I might find something for myself too." She grinned at him. "I promise it won't cost you more than an arm and a leg."

"Make sure you take them from opposite sides of my body so I don't tip over."

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. "That would be interesting to see." She squinted as she bit her lip. "I'll be back here by two to change for the early concert. Then we'll have a dinner afterwards, and finish our trip with some fireworks."

"We can sleep on the train tomorrow if we're up late tonight." His brows rose. "Oh, we can't forget. Ruth is stopping with the original manuscript before we leave for the concert. I hope she didn't have trouble getting it."

"I'm looking forward to seeing her again," Melinda said as she straightened his tie. She's as interesting and honest as I thought she'd be. I'll enjoy working with her."

 **Seven**

Jamie, AJ, and Lizzy got to the pond first and were getting their poles ready when the other four boys arrived.

Wes slid from his horse, hollering, "Hey, Jamie, are the fish biting?" He swung his arm to encourage the others to hurry. "These are my cousins, Gerry and Jeb," he said as he pointed at the appropriate teenager. "They're visiting from near Sacramento."

The two boys tapped their hats in greeting, and then Gerry pointed toward the water where Lizzy was trying to get her line in the water. "I thought it was supposed to be guys fishing, not mindin' some baby girl."

"She's a nice kid, and she won't bother us." Jamie stood a little taller as he defended his…the truth was he didn't know what to call her. She was the daughter of Ben's son. If he'd been born a Cartwright that would make her his niece but that didn't sound right. And he sure didn't think of himself as AJ's uncle.

Nate had made his way over to his friend and punched Jamie's shoulder. "That's not what you said when you first talked about them comin'."

Jamie glared at the other boy. "I didn't know them then." He turned to see where AJ was, motioned him over, and introduced him to the others.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," AJ said before going to help his sister.

"A pleasure to meet you," Jeb repeated in a falsetto while fanning his face and batting his eyes, before laughing. "Who does he think we are, the kings of California?"

Wes gave his cousin a dirty look. "The kid's from Boston. They're more formal out there."

"Enough talkin'," Jeb snarled. "Wes said this pond's got some good fish, so let's get to it."

As they walked back to get their poles, Jeb yanked his cousin nearer and growled. "Don't you never correct me in front of people again." He stuck his balled fist in Wes's face. "Or I'll punch yer nose clear back into yer skull."

The older boys found a place to fish away from AJ and Elizabeth, and Jamie felt comfortable with that arrangement. He stayed with the older boys to fish, but went back to check on the other two at intervals. Jeb and Gerry didn't join in the conversations except to accuse the others of tangling their lines each time they failed to land a catch. And when they didn't get bites, they blamed the rest of them for being too noisy.

As the morning moved on, the niggling in his gut started in again. Lizzy had kept herself entertained when she took a break from fishing, but he could tell she was getting restless. "Are you hungry?" he asked as he escorted her back toward AJ after he found her wandering farther away than he liked.

"Really, really, hungry," she replied with a big smile. "My tummy keeps thinking about those cookies in the basket on the blanket, and that lemonade cooling in the water."

"How can your stomach 'think' about such things," he teased, poking her in her midsection. "There ain't no brain in there." When he looked back to the lake, he realized that everyone had abandoned their poles in favor of walking around. "Why don't we eat now," he called as he took Lizzy's hand and led her to the blanket. "After that we'll head to the house."

As they ate their sandwiches, Gerry asked, "How many fish did everyone catch?"

Each of them gave an accounting with most of the boys having caught two or three. Jeb was the last to report. "I got me five, so I beat all a you."

Lizzy took a swig of lemonade to swallow her cookie. "I got ten."

"You did not," the older boy spat at her. "You just want to make fun of me."

"I did so." She ran to the bank and pulled her stringer from the water to count the fish. "I was wrong. There's eleven."

Wes saw the blush on his cousin's face, and spoke up before Jeb could. "What were you using for bait, Lizzy?"

"Bread balls," she replied as she returned to the blanket.

"What are bread balls?" Nate asked.

"Lizzy doesn't like to touch worms, so Uncle Hoss showed her how to squish bread around the hook instead," AJ told the others.

"Worms are wiggly and dirty." Lizzy giggled as she shivered. "And they poop on my hands when I put them on the hooks."

Jeb shook his head. "Out-fished by a lousy girl using bread. Ain't this a great day."

"You can have my fish," Lizzy offered. "I like catching them more than eating them anyway."

"You can keep yer stinkin' fish. I don't need nothin' from you, brat!" The older boy's face was beet red and his mouth had formed an ugly grimace as he'd spoken.

AJ jumped up and moved between his startled looking sister and the angry looking Jeb. "She was just being nice. There was no need to be mean or frighten her."

Jamie's fear rose as he watched AJ talk back to Jeb. The older boy towered over the younger as they stood facing each other. His heart was pounding in his throat as he took AJ's shoulder and eased him back a few steps. "Let's finish our lunch and go to the ranch. There's no harm in being bested by a girl. Maybe those fish thought she was cuter than the rest of us." He'd meant his words to be funny, but the effect was lost on Jeb. His anxiety rose even more when Lizzy pulled on his pocket and said that her tummy hurt and she thought she was going to throw up. He knelt and checked her forehead, finding it warm. "We'll head home real soon, sweetie."

While Jamie tended to Lizzy, Jeb moved forward and gave AJ a shove. "You don't talk that way to me, you Boston blubberhead."

"You moan about a six-year-old girl catching more fish, and you think _I'm_ the stupid one?" AJ shot back.

Jeb's posture became menacing as he brought his fists to his chest. "Shut up before I knock your teeth out."

"I'm only talking; why are you threatening to hit me?" AJ closed his eyes for an instant and sighed. He was used to bullies. There was always one in his classes at school, and they singled out the youngest, brightest or most timid child. Since he was often the youngest and smartest in his grade, he was usually the one targeted; at least at the beginning of the year. His father had told him to stand up for himself the best he could, because what bullies loved most was creating fear.

"I said shut up." The pink in Jeb's cheek had become scarlet.

"You're a bully, and your behavior now doesn't surprise me. You locked in on me and my sister like a hawk spotting a field mouse as soon as you got here. You would have used some excuse to swoop down on us before the day was over."

Jeb told AJ to shut up again, but AJ wasn't listening anymore. "You know what I've figured out about bullies? You're the kids who can't keep up mentally, so you single out the people you know can't challenge you physically, and make them afraid. You being mean is as natural to you as it is for my sister to be generous, and it's how you keep the rest of us from seeing how small you really are."

The large boy lunged, ready to rip AJ apart. But AJ had figure out Jeb's next move before he'd ever made it. He side-stepped the larger, clumsier boy, and grabbed his arm as he passed, applying circular leverage. Jeb tumbled forward as his feet flew over his head.

The other boys scattered and Lizzy began crying. Jamie ran to pick her up while he hollered at AJ. "Hoss is home now." This was the phrase they'd agreed on as the code to use if anyone wanted to get out of there. He got up closer and shouted it again.

AJ was concentrating on his foe and managed to flip Jeb again when he lunged a second time. Unfortunately his singular focus made him forget that Jeb had an ally. When the bully rose the second time he nodded toward his brother and Gerry slipped in behind AJ to pin his arms.

Jamie set Lizzy down with a plea to be quiet and ran to help AJ, receiving a fist to the gut for his efforts. He struggled to stand and get his breath. "Stop it!" he screamed at the two roughing up AJ. "The kid is half your size and age. What do you prove by hurting _him_? We'll leave now, and you can go on your way."

Jeb looked over at Jamie. "He called me stupid. He's got to pay fer that."

"He was just defending his sister. Let him go. Be the bigger man here." Jamie turned his gaze to AJ and pled, "Tell him you're sorry, AJ. Lizzy's fine and we'll go home now. _Hoss is there_."

The wind left AJ's sails as he understood the seriousness of his situation. "I'm sorry," he said with sincerity. "I didn't like that you were disparaging Lizzy. That's all it was."

Jeb's eyes glazed over. "What is wrong with you kid? Yer usin' big words now to prove how stupid I am. You knew I wouldn't know what dis…dispar…gin' meant."

AJ tried not to grin, but he couldn't stop, and it dealt the final blow to Jeb's ego. "Hold him Gerry. No nine-year-old and his snot-nosed sister's gonna make a fool a me."

Wes was finally in motion. "Stop it, Jeb! These kids are Cartwrights and if you hurt them, the whole town's gonna come down on you like a landslide."

He thought a minute, and then smiled venomously. "Aw, we ain't gonna hurt them; just teach them a lesson." Jeb looked over at Jamie. "I'd teach you the same lesson, but my cousin says you's a good friend, and you ain't been half bad to us so far." His sick laugh rang out in the stillness that had fallen over the scene.

They'd been riding for some time already, with Jeb and Gerry leading the way. Jeb had the reins of AJ and Lizzy's horse. He'd tied AJ's hands to the pommel and Lizzy hands were secured to her portion of the saddle with a rope that was looped first around her brother's neck so he couldn't lean down to pull the handkerchief from his eyes. Lizzy was sniffling and kept chanting, "I don't like this, AJ," as she leaned forward onto his back. "And I don't feel so good, either."

AJ tried to soothe his sister. "They're just playing a game with us, Liz. It'll be over soon." He'd been surprised when Jeb had grabbed the little girl and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket to use over her eyes. The brother who'd been holding him, had done the same thing to him then, and his world had gone gray. He couldn't understand why Jeb was angry with Lizzy. She couldn't help catching more fish, and she hadn't bragged about it. The bullies he'd faced at school had pushed him around too, until his father had taken him to a Chinese man who'd taught him how to dodge punches and use leverage. But while those actions usually stymied the school bullies, it had turned Jeb dangerous. Another thing he'd forgotten was that in Boston, there were adults to intervene if things had gone wrong. What hurt most was that he knew he'd misjudged the situation and now Lizzy was paying the price for it. She was scared sick. He was relieved to hear Jamie's voice behind him, but he also knew the two older boys were controlling things now. Jamie couldn't help them alone, and Jeb's cousins were too afraid to act.

Jamie's apprehension had grown with every minute they traveled. He finally hollered, "You two don't know the Ponderosa very well, and you're taking us farther from the house. If we don't get back by dinner, there's going to be a hunt and it won't go well for you."

Wes leaned over and shushed his friend. "I'm sorry about this," he offered apologetically. "I never would have come if I'd know those kids would be there. Jeb and Gerry's ma died a few years back, and their pa married a younger woman. I heard my folks talking, and they said that Uncle George was never a good father, but now that he's got a little girl with the new ma, he's got no regard for his boys. I saw my uncle smacking Jeb and Gerry around in the barn just before we left. They were itching for a fight when we got there today, just like that AJ said."

"Did they tell you what they're planning?" Jamie asked.

"Jeb just wants to scare them. He's riding them around with their eyes covered so they won't know if they're on the Ponderosa or in China, and then he'll make them stew a bit." He gave his friend a cautious look. "Play along, Jamie. Jeb snuck in the house before we left, and took his pa's pistol. It's in his saddlebag. I don't know that he wouldn't be stupid enough to shoot one of us in the foot it if he gets riled."

The trek ended when Jeb stopped at a beach entrance into Lake Tahoe where a small wooden boat was tucked in the brush. He grabbed the pistol from the saddle bag, and pointed at Jamie as he walked up to him. "You and my cousins are gonna get them two kids off that horse, stick them in that boat, and retie their hands and feet. You do this without tryin' anything sneaky, and we'll tie the boat out just enough to make them think they're floatin' free. Then we'll go down the shoreline and fish. We'll come back for them after I catch…say…eleven fish."

Nate and Wes helped get the younger Cartwrights off their horse and led them to the boat. Jamie leaned close to AJ's ear as he began redoing the knots on his hands. "Stay calm. I'll be back for you for you as soon as I can. Jeb's got a gun, so play along." He finished tying the ropes, making them look heavy and tight, while securing them with a simple tie. "It's a slip knot, AJ. Pull on the end once you don't hear us anymore and it'll come open. Explain it to Lizzy. I have to hurry with her or they'll get suspicious. Hide somewhere safe if you get loose, and don't come out until you see that I'm alone."

"Get over here," Jeb screamed when Jamie took too long tying Lizzy. "Hold him now," he yelled to his brother when Jamie stepped out of the boat. Gerry rushed over and pinned Jamie in a head lock while his brother checked the knots. "That looks good," he told Jaime. "I'm surprised you didn't tie them loose. You three might just make it out of this in one piece." With Jamie subdued, Jeb walked back to his horse and grabbed a sack that he carried to the boat.

Jeb looked over his shoulder at the others and laughed. "I'm giving you my leftover worms, little girl. They's a _gift_!" He said snidely before dumping his can of worms over Lizzy's head. He gave the boat a shove while letting out enough rope to float them into deeper water. "You two have fun now, ya hear."

Gerry pressed the gun deeper into Jamie's neck as he tried to wrest himself free when Lizzy started to scream. He gave up, figuring that if these two bullies ended up shooting him—even by accident—there'd be no reason not to shoot the rest of them. All he could hope for now was a chance to get away and head back to help. Jeb ordered everyone onto their horses, and Jamie's heart shriveled with the sound of Lizzy's tortured screams as they rode away.

This ride ended when they got to another clearing on the lake far enough from where they'd left the children that they couldn't see them, and Lizzy's screams had stopped so there was nothing to hear. Jeb ordered the others to fish while he leaned back on a tree and held them at gunpoint. "Let me know when you got a dozen or so."

AJ tried to calm his sister once they were alone. She had quieted at the start…until Jeb had said something about worms, followed by the sucking sound a can makes as it releases its contents. His hands were tied behind him, but he managed to use his shoulder to push the blindfold up enough to see what made him wish his eyes were still covered. Lizzy was screaming as the worms slithered under her bonnet into her thick hair or rolled down her face and dropped onto her lap. No reassurance could reach her; she had given in to terror.

The narrow boat rocked as the little girl stood and whipped her head and body side-to-side, trying to rid herself of the crawling tormenters. AJ shouted at her to sit down. He had been working at the knot securing the rope around his hands from the moment he'd heard the horses move away, and had found the end to pull. "Please sit still, Princess," he said again, using the nickname his father had coined. "I'll help you in a minute."

"There's worms everywhere, AJ!" she screamed as she sat down again. "They're crawling down my neck and inside my dress!"

He talked to her about her dolls, and getting back to the ranch to see what Hop Sing would have for supper, but nothing helped.

"Something's crawling in my ear, AJ! I gotta get these things off'a me," she screamed, as she stood and began to thrash again.

The knot around AJ's hands came free, and he was unwinding the coil from his wrists when Lizzy stepped too close to the outside of the boat and fell backwards over the side. Her scream as she hit the water continued along with splashing as she tried to stay afloat. AJ was working the knot around his ankles, desperate to free himself and help. He stood as that knot gave way, but slid on the pile of worms at his feet, hitting his head on the side of the boat as he tumbled overboard. The screams and thrashing ended as AJ sunk beneath the surface.

 **Eight**

Melinda opened the door to their suite and gave Ruth a sturdy hug as she entered. "It's good to see you again."

"I don't have the manuscript yet," she confessed after returning the hug and the sentiment. "I stopped by the boarding house yesterday, but they said Francine wasn't home. I left a note for her, and Fran sent a messenger to my house early this morning saying she was busy all day but if I'd send a note back telling her which hotel you were at, she'd drop it off by 4:30. I left instructions at the desk that she must leave it with them and they shouldn't give her any information. They'll bring it up if it arrives before you leave for your concert."

Adam's left cheek rose as he thought about Ruth's information. "Why didn't she simply send the document to you? That would have saved time in her 'busy day'."

Ruth's smile dissolved into a look of worry. "She did write something about having separated it into folders with notes for the rewrite, and had to reassemble it."

"Did you tell her you won't be using her new version?" Melinda asked

"I didn't want to do that until after I had the original. I wrote that we needed it to check a few things that I might have had wrong in the first draft, and I'd talk to her later about corrections. I thought it best not get her upset while you were still here."

"But she made sure she'd deliver it in person," Adam said pointedly. "She does want to see us, and she's figured out that you're unhappy with what she wrote. I'm glad you withheld the room number."

Melinda was praising Ruth's planning when they heard a knock at the door. She gave her husband a peck on the check, and held out her hand. "Do you have change for the bellboy, Adam?" She exchanged the tip for the large envelope and handed it to Ruth when she closed the door again.

There wasn't time to open it before there was another knock. Melinda gave the others a curious look and then chuckled. "The boy must have forgotten something, or," she grinned back at her husband, "He counted the change, and came back for more."

There was no bellhop. A rotund woman was standing there, clad in a dour looking dress that fit like skin and was straining at the seams. Melinda had to restrain a grin at her thought that the woman looked square since she was nearly as wide as she was tall. Adding to Melinda's slightly open-mouthed stare was the fact that this woman's hair was a tangled mess, secured in a bun with pencils. The humor of this "guest's" appearance vanished as she began to feel uneasy. The stranger's eyes darted furtively as she tried to see into the room, and her mouth was screwed into a sour pucker. Melinda eased the door to a crack, and wedged her foot behind it as she asked, "May I help you?"

"Is Ruth Halversen here?"

Melinda's unease was clanging like a fire-bell in her brain. "Who are you?"

The other woman's eyes thinned to slits. "Don't bother denying she's here. I gave the envelope to the desk clerk as Ruth _ordered,_ and then I hid behind a post and followed the bellboy when he brought it up."

Melinda yelped when her toes got pinned beneath the door as the woman gave it a mighty shove and bulled past her into the room.

The intruder stopped abruptly, staring open-mouth while looking around the suite. "I'd heard this hotel was lovely, but I had no idea it was this luxurious."

"You shouldn't have come up, Francine," Ruth said sternly as she approached. "There was no need to bother the Cartwrights."

Francine's eyes moved from Ruth to the man in the room. "You must be Adam." She gave him a good look from his head to his toes. "I can certainly understand Ruth's attraction to you." Her satisfied look made Adam flinch and cross his arms over his chest.

"Thank you for bringing the original," Ruth said with a softer tone. "I've already sent a check for your service."

"Ours is such a beautiful story," Fran said, directing her attention to Adam in a cow-eyed stare. Her lower lip began to quiver as turned to glare at Melinda. "You must be the wife! It's your fault this story didn't end the way it should have."

"It ended exactly as it should have," Melinda said soothingly. "Ruth has told you that." When Francine's stare began to feel like it was burning a hole in her forehead, she stood straighter and her tone became forceful. "You removed the best of Ruth's amazing story of survival, and turned it into a tale of unrequited love. Ruth wrote about the triumph of her spirit. You left her looking weak and helpless because she didn't end up with a man."

"I should have gotten Adam," Francine spat back.

Melinda wondered if Adam and Ruth had noticed the pronoun Fran had used. A quick glance at them confirmed that they had. "You mean Ruth, don't you?"

Francine's face crumbled as she shouted. "Adam should have come for me and we would have married. That's how it should have gone!" She pounded her fist on her leg. "The story would be perfect then."

Ruth tried again to calm the woman. "It wasn't meant to end that way, Fran." She went to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and walking her toward the door. "I was honest about the time with Adam. He spurred me to find Ruth again, but it was never to be forever." Ruth patted Francine's back. "I think you worked so hard on this, and became so involved that you wrote the story the way you wished it had been. I can understand that."

The sturdy woman stopped their progress and pulled away from Ruth. "No. I told the real story of how Adam and I fell in love, and how we came together that day. I should have been the one he married; the one who bore his children." Fran swung around to point at Melinda, and cried out, "Not…her!"

Adam had given Ruth a chance to deal with the situation, but it was clear that Francine was not going quietly. He quickly covered the distance between them, grabbing the sobbing woman by the wrist. "You are not wanted here, madam. Please do not approach Ruth again or contact me or my wife."

Large tears were sliding down her cheeks when she looked up beseechingly. "Please don't do this, Adam. I know you love me. It's not your fault that you're acting this way. It's because of her." She nodded toward Melinda. "Did she lay with you to get pregnant and force you to marry her?"

"That's enough!" Adam's hand tightened on her left arm until she squirmed with the pressure and began walking toward the door with him. "I'm taking her downstairs and will have the manager get the police to take her to the hospital," he told Ruth and Melinda. "I'll be back as soon as I can."

"There's no need to do that." Francine's tears stopped instantly, and she pulled her dress into place with her free hand. After a deep sigh, she patted her hair and plastered a grotesque smile on her lips. "I'm sorry, Adam. I understand. Please don't make a fool of me. Just unhand me and I'll go."

After receiving a shrug of agreement from Ruth and Melinda, he released his grip and allowed her to walk to the door. He saw her digging in her purse, and assumed she was going after a handkerchief to dry her face. He pulled his from his pocket and tossed it to her, but she let it fall to the floor as she continued to hunt. A sparkle created by the chandelier's light reflecting off the barrel of the small silver gun in her hand was the only warning he got that he'd completely misread her depth of insanity. And in that mistake, he'd let her get too far away to reach before she could act. He froze as he formulated a lie to make Francine believe he had been her lover. It made his stomach turn, but he knew he could say anything until disarming her. "My dear, Francine, I do remember…," but she brought her finger to her lips.

"Don't say anything, dear." She smiled radiantly and blew him a kiss as she pointed the pistol at his heart. "There's only one thing standing between us and being together, and I'm about to take care of that, my love."

Adam assumed she was going to shoot him and then herself, but his heart stopped as he understood her true target. Melinda and Ruth had turned away from the door, and they had no idea what was about to happen. He shouted Melinda's name and dove toward her as the muzzle flame erupted from the Derringer that was directed towards her. Melinda eyes widened in shock and her mouth opened in a silent scream as the bullet struck. She remained standing for a moment, looking down at the spreading circle of red discoloring her dress, before collapsing next to where he'd landed. The bleeding intensified with her fall. It was drenching the belt he'd given her to match the heirloom dress she'd chosen to wear again, and was wicking down the pleats of the skirt.

Ruth groaned as she saw Melinda go down, and rushed at Francine. The second shot struck the mirror above the fireplace causing it to shatter—the falling glass creating a high-pitched dissonance. Using her height advantage she managed to push Francine to the wall. She grabbed the arm holding the pistol, bringing it down hard on her thigh, and snapped the woman's wrist like a dead twig.

The gun fell harmlessly to the floor, and instead of crying out in pain at the fracture, Francine started laughing maniacally. "See…" she screeched, "I told you there was one thing standing between us, Adam." The laugh returned as she added, "She's not standing anymore, is she?"

Ruth grabbed an ornamental vase from the table next to them and brought it down on the cackling woman's head. With Francine out cold, Ruth ran to assist Adam. The knit shawl she grabbed from the chair was lightweight but substantial in size, so Ruth folded it into a thick bandage and laid it over the bullet's entry point. "Hold that tight," she ordered Adam. "I'll run down and get a cab for us." She gave a quick nod to the lump by the wall. "And the police for her. I'll bring others back to help get Melinda downstairs."

"Will she make it?" the pale husband asked as he grabbed Ruth's arm.

She shrugged and shook her head, unable to voice her fear.

Adam hadn't needed to ask. He saw the blood coming from Melinda's abdominal area. Gut shot, was the vernacular term. He'd been shot like this once, and it had taken months to recover. Luckily that bullet hadn't punctured his intestines or he would have died an agonizing death once infection and gangrene had taken hold of his insides. He already knew that Melinda's fate had been sealed by whatever had happened as the bullet entered. The important thing now was keeping her alive until doctors could assess the damage.

Melinda had passed out initially, but she opened her eyes sleepily and reached for Adam's face. "That really happened?" she asked, grimacing. "It wasn't a bad dream?"

"I'm sorry," he said in agony. "I was sure she was going to shoot me or I would have acted sooner. I've never been sorrier about being wrong."

She caught her breath and her eyes widened as she acknowledged the searing pain consuming her insides. "It hurts so bad." She held his hand tightly. "I'm cold, Adam, and…dizzy." She paused for several deep breaths hoping to ease the agony. When that didn't work she began to speak as fast as she could, trying to get everything said before it was too late. "I love you…from the moment I met you. Our marriage…wouldn't change anything…even waiting for you." She inhaled sharply as deep pain began moving up toward her chest. She was desperate to finish. "Our children…love them. Help them remember….me…" Tears streaked down her cheeks as reached again to caress his cheek. She whispered, "Adam," before her hand dropped to her side.

He continued providing pressure on the wound, and used his free hand to check for a pulse. It was weak and rapid, but it provided hope. He couldn't wait for help. He scooped her into his arms and headed for the door.

 **Nine**

Sheriff Coffee dismounted in front of the Cattlemen's Association, relieved to see Ben near the door talking with another rancher. His old friend glanced over and smiled, while continuing the conversation.

It wasn't until Ben felt a hand on his arm that he gave the sheriff a quizzical look. "Can I help you, Roy?"

"We need to speak privately, and it can't wait." Roy led Ben to a quiet spot. "Dan and Marigold Starke brought their boys to my office a short time ago with a story I had a hard time believin'."

Ben knew that Roy liked to drag a story out, and while he smiled wryly, thinking about what might be revealed, he felt an odd gnawing in his stomach. "Jamie was meeting the Starke boys to fish today. Did they get into trouble?"

"I truly wish it was that. The Starkes have relatives visiting, and the cousins went along on that fishin' trip. Them two are older and surly, but the Starkes didn't know just how bad they were. Wes and Nate said their cousins started picking on your grandchildren. Jeb, The older of the two, got mad that Lizzy caught more fish than him. AJ stood up for her and things went bad from there."

"Was AJ hurt? Should I get Paul out to the house?" Ben's voice sounded firm, but his knees suddenly felt wobbly.

Roy shook his head slowly. "The older boys decided to teach the youngsters a lesson. The Starke kids said their cousins blindfolded AJ and Elizabeth; tied them on their horse and took them to Lake Tahoe. There they stuck 'em in a boat, tied 'em up again, and pushed it out into the lake to scare those little ones real good."

Ben had paled, but now flushed with anger. "What sort of animals are these boys? And why didn't Jamie do something?"

"One of them pinned Jamie at first, and then held him at gunpoint by the lake. The Starke boys said Jamie did what he could by tying slip knots so AJ'd get free."

"I should get going. Those children are probably… They need me home. I'll get Joe."

Roy placed his hand on Ben's arm again. "Hold on. The children aren't at the house, Ben. That's why I came for you. The cousins forced Jamie to go off with them to let AJ and Lizzy stew, and when they went back, the boat was overturned in deep water, and the kids were gone. Wes and Nate don't think their cousins meant for anything bad to happen, but Jamie went wild and charged at Jeb; flustering him. He fumbled the gun he was holdin', and it went off, with a bullet catching Jamie in the arm."

Ben nearly buckled. "Is he all right?"

"A deep graze is what Wes said. Jeb and Gerry—them older boys—took off after that, and rode for the Starke's house. They didn't say nothin' was wrong when they got there, but the other family packed up quick and left. Wes and Nate stayed with Jamie to bandage his arm and look for AJ and Lizzy."

Joe exited the building, and made his way over, noticing his father's red face and clenched fists. "What's wrong, Pa?"

"I'll explain in a minute." Turning back to Roy, he asked, "Where are AJ and Lizzy?"

"Jamie, Wes, and Nate couldn't find them, so Jamie headed to the ranch for help, while the Starke boys went to get their folks. Their parents thought they should come into town first to tell me. I was heading to the Ponderosa when I saw Buck hitched out here." He screwed his face up before asking, "I think Adam and Melinda are still in San Francisco. Should we send a telegram before we leave?"

"What would we tell them?" He paused to think. "I'll send a message once we know more." He took a minute to gather his thoughts. "Joe, Roy and I are leaving now. Get our things, say our goodbyes and catch up to us."

"Do I understand right; Adam's kids are missing?" Receiving a nod from both men, he added, "Get going."

 **Ten**

Nearly an hour had passed while they'd gotten Melinda to the hospital. Ruth was known at the facility, and she'd set to gathering a team of doctors as soon as they'd arrived. The small exam room filled quickly with hospital personnel, and Adam was asked to leave. Ruth left with him, and guided him to a waiting area.

"Can't you stay in there?" he asked.

"I found the finest people to care for her, Adam, and the police will need our statements." Her eyes welled with tears. "I'm so sorry," she moaned as she touched his arm and led him to a couch. "I brought that woman into your lives. Francine was always a little odd, but I never felt she was capable of…this."

He laid his hand atop hers. "This wouldn't have happened if I'd been more alert." The corner of Adam's lip rose in a broken smile and faded. "This isn't the first time I've encountered a crazy person, but my revulsion for _this_ one made me miss her intent."

She angled herself on the couch to see him better. "I'd turned away when you took over, deciding the less audience she had, the better. I should have made sure she was out the door first."

Adam's throat tightened with the memory, leaving him unable to speak.

The two friends sat in silence, trying to comprehend how the only innocent person in that hotel room had paid the price for something that had started so long before. "There's enough guilt for both of us," Ruth whispered. "I should have listened to what my gut was telling me about Francine and told her to burn the manuscript."

The silence descended again, and they were both jumped when someone cleared their throat.

"Sorry to intrude into this desperate time," the man in the San Francisco Police uniform began. "I'm Sergeant Michael Rooney."

Adam stood to greet the officer. "We've been expecting you."

Rooney rolled back on his heels and hooked his thumbs in his pockets. "I was the officer who responded to the hotel and brought the woman who did the shootin' to the hospital. She's got a broken wrist and a bump on her head, but she was able to talk just fine. Mind you, her story was incoherent, so I thought it best to come get the truth from you. Was the woman we have in custody confused before the incident?"

"What has she said?" Adam inquired.

"She claims her name is Ruth, and she's the fiancé of Adam Cartwright. She's ramblin' far afield, exceptin in that she feels she was able to rid the world of the evil that was standin' against their happiness. I'm assumin' she's talkin' about the woman she shot?"

Adam laughed humorlessly. "Well, I'm Adam Cartwright." He nodded toward Ruth. "This is the real Ruth Halversen, and the evil woman…is my wife, Melinda Cartwright."

" _Her_ real name is Francine Harris," Ruth provided. I hired her to edit a book I'd written. What she did was adopt my story into her life after changing it into a fantasy about Mr. Cartwright.

Adam continued, "My wife and I met Francine for the first time this evening."

Ruth invited the policeman to sit. "I know very little about her. I met Francine through a friend who taught with her at the Mulberry Academy. My book is about the years I spent living with the Bannock and then living on my own after the tribe was massacred." She briefly described how she'd helped Adam back then, and how they'd met again several years after their original meeting. "When I found out that Adam's wife worked in publishing, I asked him to give her my book. Melinda read it, and suggested I find a professional writer to help with corrections." She released a long breath. "Francine came highly recommended, but somewhere in 'helping' me, she became obsessed with those few days Adam and I spent together. From what we can figure," she looked to Adam for agreement, "she decided that this story should have ended with Adam and me getting married. In this delusion, Melinda was preventing that."

The officer shook his head and made a swirling motion near his temple as he whistled. "So Francine didn't like the way the real story went, and made one up?"

"It's more than that," Adam said. "She got so rooted in this story that she reinvented it, and then insinuated herself into it." He pursed his lips. "There's something missing. I wonder if Francine was rejected by a beau, and with Ruth's story, she got a chance to rewrite her own history."

"That might explain it, Mr. Cartwright," Sergeant Rooney offered. But I'm also guessin' she's been living a crazy drama for some time, and you just got the final act."

Ruth's eyes popped open as she remembered something. "After we got to the hospital, I sent a note to the person who introduced me to Francine, asking her to come. She might know more."

"That was a good idea," the officer said enthusiastically. "Hopefully she'll know some next-of-kin, although this Francine won't be goin' nowhere except the prison asylum for now. I'm sorry to sound indelicate, but the charges against her won't be brought until we find out what happens to the victim."

A strangled laugh prefaced Adam's outburst. "That victim whose future is uncertain, is an intelligent, loving woman, and a wonderful mother of two…in case you'd like to know."

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cartwright," Officer Rooney said with sincerity. "I didna' mean to dishonor her. It is the truth of the matter though, and if I can pray for an ending, it will be the crypts of the loony bin for the perpetrator, and a long happy life for the…victim."

As Adam offered his own apology, a woman rushed into the room, stopped a moment to look around, and then walked directly to Ruth. "What's going on with Francine?" she asked in the breathlessness of hurry.

Ruth took a moment for introductions. "Becka Mounds, this is Adam Cartwright and Officer Rooney." She explained what had happened in the simplest way she could, and then asked, "Does Francine have any relatives?"

Becka chewed her cheek as she thought. "Her parents died before she came west to teach, and I never heard mention of siblings. Francine was a bright woman and talented writer, but not…um…an easy person to befriend." The cheek chewing resumed. "She really shot Mrs. Cartwright?"

Ruth nodded and then squinted at her friend. "You know something you're not comfortable saying."

Adam encouraged her. "We'd be grateful for anything you can add, even if it's speculative."

The woman dropped in a chair, seeming to fall under the weight of her knowledge. She shook her head as she began speaking. "I should have said something, Ruth. I'm sorry…I got busy and forgot about it. But I never thought…"

"Never thought what?" Ruth asked gently.

"That Francine would go this far."

"Tell us what you know," Adam prompted again. "We won't judge."

Becka looked up at the ceiling and began. "Francine was sweet to me when I was assigned to her school. She always worried that others were being recognized for achievements that really belonged to her. I wasn't seen as a threat so she favored me with her presence at lunch and meetings. I listened to her constant grumbling about how others were jealous of her intelligence. She invited me to dinner once, but I made sure I was unavailable." She shivered and her lips puckered as though biting a lemon. "The only personal thing I know was that she _thought_ she was engaged. She was planning her wedding when I first got to the school. She bragged constantly, dropping this man's name into every conversation because he was some respected politician. One day when we went to the lounge for lunch, there was a newspaper on the table, opened to the Chronicle's society page. In bold print was the announcement of this man's marriage to a wealthy socialite. Someone had left it there for her to find and she was humiliated by it. But I also remember feeling a chill when she told me that he must have been tricked into marriage, and she'd have him back some day—one way or another. I figured it was the face-saving talk of a sad and embarrassed woman who'd given this man everything he'd wanted…if you get my meaning, and was then discarded. She was a good writer though and I thought she'd do well keeping occupied with Ruth's editing." She turned to Ruth. "I had no idea she was dangerous."

Sergeant Rooney looked at Adam and nodded. "Seems you was right about her past."

"Is there anything else?" Ruth asked.

"She was excited by your book. At first she'd talk about all you'd been through and how you had triumphed over the bad life you'd been given. But pretty soon her emphasis turned to only one thing: Adam Cartwright."

Ruth interrupted. "Did it seem that she was putting herself in my place?"

Becka took a deep breath. "In a way. She'd start talking about her fiancé' and the name would change to Adam, and her story got mixed in with yours. I was transferred to a different school for the next term, and didn't see her for some time. A few weeks ago, I stopped at the old school and I didn't recognize her! She'd never been thin or beautiful, but she dressed nicely and I considered her attractive in her own way. She'd put on so much since I'd seen her that her clothing seemed ready to burst. Her hair was a mess, and her coloring was off—almost sallow. She pulled me aside when she saw me, and said that Adam was coming for her. I told her she'd become too involved and should send the manuscript back."

Becka stopped to look at Ruth. "I hadn't seen you for a while either, but I assumed you were aware of this."

"You're not responsible," Ruth offered. "Her conversations with me drifted in and out of rationality, but she always managed to make it sound like it was all part of her creative process. She'd say she had to assume the role to know the emotions I had felt."

Officer Rooney was the first to stand. "I'll be needin' to get downstairs again. I'll investigate Francine a little further, but I doubt this woman will go to trial. I'll be needin' your information, ladies, since you seem to know the most about her. You'll probably be asked to give testimony at her commitment hearing." He shook Adam's hand. "Mr. Cartwright, I'll be back later to check on your wife and take a formal statement."

Ruth's friend left shortly after the officer was gone, leaving Ruth and Adam alone again.

"I wouldn't believe this was happening if I wasn't part of it." Ruth leaned back in the chair. "The human mind can discover the secrets of the universe or dive to depths of self-deception that allows them to act in unspeakable ways."

"A friend described it as passing through a dark gate?" Adam remarked as his experience with Ross Marquette passed through his mind.

Ruth nodded. "I suppose they aren't rational by the time it gets this far, but this darkness always seems to demand payment in blood. This time…"

"This time…Melinda has paid the price."

Ruth glanced at the clock and then out the window at the lengthening shadows. "They've been with her for some time. I'll go find out what's happening."

 **Eleven**

Jamie, Hoss, and several of their men were preparing to ride out when Ben and Roy arrived at the house. Ben pointed at his youngest son and hollered, "In the house, Now!" He dismounted and was headed to the door when he called back for Hoss to follow.

"What happened?" Ben demanded when they got inside, and then inspected the blood-stained handkerchief tied around his youngest son's arm. His tone softened. "Do you need a doctor?"

Jamie shook his head and pulled his arm away. "It's just a graze. You must have heard what happened."

Ben released a relieved breath. "Wes and Nate's parents brought them to Roy. What I want to know from you is where AJ and Lizzy are."

Jamie's complexion paled to a pasty white, and he swayed briefly before taking a deep breath to settle his nerves. "I don't know."

"I heard they were in a boat on Tahoe. Didn't you see any sign of them when you went back?"

"Lizzy's boot was on the ground where it must have fallen from the saddlebags, but their horse was gone. I hoped they got free and rode for home. The horse did come back, but…."

Ben leaned forward onto the sturdy table behind the couch trying to steady the swirling in his head. "They're both good swimmers so they should have made it to shore even if the boat overturned. The Starkes told Roy that the boat was tied on shore?"

"It was, but…"

"Out with it, Jamie," Ben demanded. "We can't figure this out unless we have all the facts."

"Their hands and feet were tied. I used a slip knot and told AJ how to pull free, but if they fell in before he got it undone…"

He hadn't needed to finish. The look of anguish on Hoss and Ben's face was a testament to what they were imagining.

"Did you check the surrounding area?" Ben asked quietly.

"Sure! We didn't see any footprints come out of the lake. I looked along the edge of the lake and the woods, and called for them. They'd have answered if they'd have heard me. When they didn't, I figured it best to get help. Hoss is the best tracker around." The stricken look on Jamie's face matched that of his father and brother. "I should have tried to get away sooner, Pa. I thought those boys would tire of it soon enough, but I should have tried, even if they had shot me in the back. The way I feel now, I wish they had."

"Don't say that, son. I should have listened when you said you felt uneasy this morning."

Hoss remained silent through the exchange, but finally broke in. "Haven't we learned anything over the years, Pa? We ain't responsible for the bad acts of others. What's the point of thinkin' Jamie could a done more, or you should'a figured out somethin' would happen? You end up feelin' horrible over somethin' you couldn't stop or change. What we got to do now is go look for them youngens." His face crumbled as he held back his grief and anger. "The one thing that bothers me some is that they'd a been wet if they fell into the water. From what you said, it wasn't that long between leaving them and gettin' back, so there should'a been some wet spots from their drippin' clothes iffen they'd come to shore."

"What do you make of that, son?"

"Could be a couple'a things, Pa. AJ's a bright kid. If those two did get to shallower water, he wouldn't have come out where those older boys would see it. The other option is the one I don't wanna think about."

Ben was on his way to the door when he looked back. "C'mon boys. Let's find them."

 **Twelve**

Ruth found Adam wearing a rut in the waiting-room tile with his pacing. "This is Doctor Spencer," she told him, indicating the man in the white coat standing next to her. He was with Melinda."

"How is she?" Adam asked without offering a greeting. "It's been so long, I'm…" Adam silenced as his tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth.

"Let's sit down, Mr. Cartwright." He indicated a group of chairs at the side of the room, and then asked Ruth to put the "In Use" sign on the door. Dr. Spencer waited for Adam and Ruth to get seated. "When you checked in, Mr. Cartwright, you gave us permission to do what we thought best to save your wife. When we cut away the fabric and realized the wound was still bleeding, we took Mrs. Cartwright directly to surgery. One of my colleagues is finishing the operation as we speak."

Adam observed the pinched look around the doctor's eyes and the fact that he wasn't making direct eye contact. "I assume the news is not good," he said matter-of-factly.

A brief smile brightened the man's face as he took a deep breath. "I don't mean to seem dour. Ruth filled me in a little on the walk here about the situation. It's my reaction to such a horrible act that you're seeing, rather than the nature of the news I bear. Your wife has made it through surgery. That is only the beginning of her journey to recovery."

"I'm not sure what you mean." Ruth's wide-eyed stare punctuated her observation.

Dr. Spencer blew a breath while gathering his thoughts. "You're aware of how much blood your wife…"

"Melinda," Adam supplied.

The doctor smiled. "Melinda, it is. We got going so fast that I don't think we ever heard her first name. I knew she was related to the Nevadan Cartwrights, and that she is a good friend of Ruth's, but then I blocked out the surrounding conversation to concentrate. Anyway, my greatest fear was that the bullet nicked her intestine. That, along with the continuous oozing of blood prompted my decision to open the entry point immediately to see what we were dealing with. The projectile was small, but it was still travelling at impact." He smiled again as he looked to each of his listeners. "I noticed that there was a lot of damage to that belt she was wearing, but the web of boning in it saved her life. It slowed the entry enough that it didn't penetrate far and made the angle of entry shallower. On the other hand, fragments of that same boning entered the wound and had to be removed particle by particle and that took some time. The good news is that we found no unexpected fluids in the wound once it was opened."

Adam had a pretty good idea what he was talking about but his raised-cheek squint prompted Ruth to say, "They didn't find anything to indicate a punctured intestine."

"Good way of putting that." Dr. Spencer nodded and smiled at Ruth. "That bullet sheared many small arteries on the exterior of the peritoneum: that's the lining of the abdominal cavity, and it bled profusely. We cauterized those vessels, removed the slug and fragments, and closed the wound. That's the good news." He paused. "The less desirable news is that between the amount of blood we estimated had saturated the fabric of her dress, the compress you used, and in the sponges we used here, we think Melinda lost over a pint of blood."

"Is she likely to die from that rather than the gunshot?" Adam asked breathlessly.

"To lose that much blood in such a short time may have affected every organ in her body. Her kidneys and brain, even her limbs might have suffered hypoxia."

"But I could feel her pulse. If her heart was beating, why wouldn't her body get what it needed, even if it was less than normal?" Adam questioned further.

"The body is a marvelous machine, Mr. Cartwright. When being stressed, it circles the wagons around what's most important. The heart and lungs would be perfused while there would be less blood circulating as you get further from the core. Her brain would still get blood, but there might be areas that were insufficiently supplied. It's the same with everything that isn't vital for keeping the heart pumping."

"But if that isn't the case," Ruth began, "then she'll recover?"

"That's the first part. But there's a chance of infection. The surgery was performed in a very clean environment by top notch surgeons, not by a country doctor poking around with a dirty clamp and a scissors. We've done all we can to make her recovery possible."

"When will we know whether…?" Adam swallowed his question along with the lump in his throat.

"We'll wait for her to awaken and check her reflexes and brain function. If that goes well, we'll wait for fever. I assure you that we irrigated the wound with carbolic acid as Dr. Lister has prescribed, and we used it to clean our instruments, so the risk for infection is greatly reduced from even a few years ago. Time will tell. Melinda will be weak while her body produces blood at an increased rate to compensate for what was lost. The wound will heal easily; her strength will return more gradually as she rests and eats well."

"She'll have the best," Ruth said firmly. "When can Adam see her?"

Dr. Spencer stood and stretched. "They'll come for you once she's in a room." He reached to shake Adam's hand. "I'm sorry to meet you under such circumstances. I'll stop later, and we can talk more."

Adam walked to the door with the doctor. "Thank you. I…" What he couldn't say was that he wouldn't know what to do if she didn't recover. How would he tell his children that their mother had died? How would he face life without the person who was so much a part of him that to lose her would be to lose himself? He sighed deeply and continued out the door of the waiting room to walk the halls and release the nerves that were nipping at him like the stings of a thousand bees.

 **Thirteen**

The Cartwrights, their hands, and neighbors who'd already heard of the missing children, combed the lakeshore where AJ and Lizzy had been last seen. Hoss had set up a search grid as soon as they'd arrived and made sure the other searchers weren't destroying any evidence of the children getting to shore.

Dan Starke had brought a seining net, and he and his sons had dragged the lake where the boat had overturned. But Tahoe was a cold, deep lake, and that operation had ended when the men had gotten too cold to continue without finding any clues.

There had been a moment of panicked silence, when someone thought they'd spotted a child's body caught in the brush at the edge of the lake. It had turned out to be the apron Lizzy had been wearing. While it had been an interesting find, it had been more odd than helpful.

Ben pulled his sons aside once the clothing item had been retrieved. "Would that apron have come off?" he asked his somber-faced sons.

"I s'pose," Hoss said before closing his eyes and envisioning how it could have happened. "The bow could'a come loose and the whole thing slipped off…if she was floating or turnin' over in the rollin' water." He went silent as the significance of that statement hit home.

Joe provided a more hopeful answer. "Maybe AJ helped her get it off when they were in the water. It would have been one less thing weighing her down."

By dusk, Ben knew he had to make some decisions. He gathered his family again. "I'm going to send these people home. We've covered the lakefront pretty well without results, so we'll assume they made it out and are probably a little lost. We can cover ground more effectively with our men." He looked over at the people talking in hushed voices as they awaited directions. "And the last thing I want this to become is a side-show for speculation and gossip."

His sons nodded their agreement as Ben continued. "Hoss, decide which men you want with you and start scouring the woods across from where we are. Joe, use the rest of them to ride a broad path on the way back to the house in case AJ and Lizzy are somewhere near that road. Jamie and I will ride into town to send a telegram to Adam." He sighed deeply. "At least there's a good moon tonight."

Jamie waited for his brothers to head out to their assignments before asking, "Why can't I help Hoss or Joe instead of going with you?"

"I want Paul to take a look at your arm. It's still oozing and that doesn't seem right. We'll wait there until we hear back from Adam."

Ben and Jamie had been riding for nearly a half-an-hour when Jamie released a groaning sigh. "I ain't never felt this way, Pa. Those times when people sent Pa and me packing scared me, but this is making my insides feel like they're on fire."

Ben glanced over, and nodded. His insides were burning too. In a short time he would be penning a note to tell his oldest son that his children were missing. He'd leave out the part where many presumed them to be drowned.

"Is there any chance they're alive?" Jamie asked as he looked straight ahead."

"They are until it's proven otherwise," Ben said with all the conviction he could muster. "That's how Cartwrights think."

 **Fourteen**

Ruth was returning to Melinda's room with a pot of coffee and soup from the hospital dining room when she was stopped by an orderly who handed her a telegram addressed to Adam. She tucked it on the tray and walked the last way down the hall. Her progress halted at the doorway.

Melinda had been brought to this spacious, private room shortly after the doctor had spoken to them. Her eyes had fluttered open for a few seconds after being jostled in the transfer. She'd smiled at her husband and held on when he'd brought her hand to his lips. Her skin color seemed even paler than the bleached white sheets she was swaddled in, but she'd mouthed, "I love you," before her eyes had closed again.

"Not unexpected," the doctor said when he'd stopped in a few minutes later, noting her nearly comatose state. "She is weak, and complete rest is the only thing that will allow her body to heal." He'd also said it was an excellent sign that she'd recognized her husband, and there was evidence that her kidneys were working fine as well. Then he'd given them permission to wet her lips, and finally said that this would be a long process for all of them, so they should take care of themselves.

Ruth suspected that Adam was as exhausted as she. They'd done nothing but sit, yet the mental toll was weighing them down as surely as any physical exertion would have. She'd finally declared that they needed to keep up their strength, and since Melinda was snug for the moment, she'd gone for food. In her absence, Adam had positioned himself next to the bed, and was nestled as close to Melinda as he could be while remaining in his chair. Ruth leaned against the door frame waiting for Adam to move, but his head was on the pillow next to Melinda's, and she thought he had fallen asleep.

She hadn't known Melinda and Adam as a "couple" for long, yet Ruth had noticed how physically close they were from the moment she'd walked into their suite two days ago. They'd held hands while sitting on the couch and when they'd walked to the revue. Melinda touched his face or slipped her arms around his waist as she spoke to him. These gestures seemed so much a part of their behavior that she knew it wasn't something Melinda was doing to "mark her territory" in front of another woman. Proximity—this loving physical intimacy with each other—was as natural as breathing to this couple. It was beautiful, and she longed to feel such a connection with someone.

The raid on the Bannock and the desires of the men who'd forced themselves on her, had left her cringing at the mere thought of a man's touch. She'd kept Adam at emotional and physical arm's length when she'd met him. His sincerity and gentleness had allowed her to relax enough to permit him to pull her closer or to hold her head as he'd kissed her. She'd momentarily forgotten the shadows of those men looming over her; their foul, sour odor, and fetid breath making her gag as they'd argued over who'd get to "poke" her first. She'd even pushed the darkness away just enough to become romantically playful with Adam on their last day together. There were hopeful times in those hours together when she thought she might one day let her guard down completely or feel at ease when he touched her unexpectedly. She'd realized it would take patience on his part to reach that point, and in the end, it had been easier to ride away with Chato than to face that she might never come to love his touch.

Those men had called the Bannock savages, and had used that as an excuse to wipe out an entire hunting party of human beings. They'd taken away her Indian family…and her innocence. Killing them had ended the assault, but they'd managed to leave behind some sort of wall in her heart that seemed impossible to breach.

She shook her head to clear these thoughts when she heard Adam say, "I'm not asleep, if that's what you're thinking."

He lifted his head from the bed and smiled. "I can smell the coffee and sure could use a cup."

Ruth carried the tray to the rolling table, and removed the yellow envelope. "This came for you. I imagine it went to the hotel and they sent it over."

He inserted his finger under the flap and pulled it loose. "Thank you. Pa probably wants to confirm our return plans for tomorrow. It might be best if he'd bring the children over here in a few days. I'm sure Melinda will want to see them, and once she's recovered enough, we'll leave for home."

Ruth watched Adam's face collapse in a tortured look as he scanned the words, and she knew instinctively that this couldn't be the message he was expecting. He looked so stunned that she stepped behind him and read the telegram over his shoulder, gasping at its contents.

 _Children missing after outing (STOP) Search party looking (STOP) Request your immediate return (STOP) Will wait in VC for confirmation of plans (STOP)_

He balled the paper inside his clenching fist. "Earlier, when I thought Melinda might die, I asked God whether this day could get any worse. I have my answer." His sigh became a soft moan. "I have to go, and yet I don't want to leave Melinda. She'll know something's horribly wrong if I'm not here when she wakes." He shook his head. "And if something has happened to the kids…."

Ruth touched Adam's shoulders from behind. "You're adding facts that aren't known. I'll stay with Melinda; you go to your children. She'll sleep for some time, and when she does wake I'll stall her until she's strong enough to handle the truth."

Adam reached back to grasp Ruth's hand. "Thank you." His strength seemed to rush from his body like water rupturing a dam, making him lean forward to stop the lightheadedness that looked like shooting waves of light, closing into blackness. He looked up when Ruth nudged his shoulder and handed him a cup of coffee.

"Drink this," she commanded. "I know you don't feel like it right now, but I want you to eat the soup. Then we'll talk through all that needs to be done to get you out of here."

 **End Part 2**

 **Please proceed to Part 3 – The Toll of Loss**

1 Edwin Booth came to Virginia City in _The Actress_ episode.

2Melinda had refused Adam's first proposal when he'd graduated from college because it wasn't the right time for either of them to marry. She told him that when the time was right, she'd propose to him. Twelve-years later, she did.


	3. Unspeakable Acts - Part 3

**One Step Closer – Indefensible Acts, Part 3**

 **The Toll Of Loss**

 **One**

The sigh Adam released as the outline of his family home appeared in the distance was a mixture of gratefulness and terror. He slowed his horse for a moment, and then spurred it back to a gallop, as he prepared to face whatever he'd find up ahead.

The fates had been generous in that an outbound express train had left San Francisco at 10 PM last night, and he'd been on it. During the few hours between receiving his father's telegram and his departure, he and Ruth had worked out a plan for the next few days. She'd sent the telegrams he'd written, and made sure that arrangements at the hospital were in place for her to make decisions regarding Melinda's care in his absence.

Even now, he wondered at how he had so easily put Melinda's life in Ruth's hands. With so much unknown about the situation at the Ponderosa, he'd had no other option. Still he couldn't have signed off if he hadn't believed that Melinda would support his decision.

While Ruth had done the legwork, he'd remained at Melinda's side. He'd explained what was going on even though she was unresponsive. There had been times when he'd been sick and in a similar state, and he recalled "experiencing" his family's presence rather than hearing their words. It broke his heart that Melinda would probably sense his absence. "One emergency at a time," he mumbled to himself as a wave of guilt and anxiety hit with enough force to make him grab the pommel.

He restored his presence of mind by going over all that had gone smoothly since receiving the news. The journey by train had lasted seven hours, about normal for the express traveling at night. Before he'd left Frisco, he'd sent telegrams to Reno and Goat Springs, promising a goodly bonus for them to have horses waiting at 5-mile intervals along the road to Virginia City. It was about 20 miles from Reno to the cutoff for the Ponderosa, and another five miles to the house. A good horse could reach and maintain a rapid pace, but even the best horse had a limit to the distance it could run full-out carrying a rider.

Fortunately, he'd been able to convey his desperation, and there'd been one change of animal between Reno and the next station, and he was on his second and final mount since leaving Goat Springs. None of the horses had been the quality animals found on the Ponderosa, but they'd given their all to him as he'd made his way through the darkness.

There had been two moments of respite along this trek. The first was receiving a telegram Ruth had sent to Reno. The message had been simple: _Resting comfortably. Awake briefly. No questions_.

The second blessing had come in the form of the gregarious Evangeline at the Goat Springs station. She'd been waiting for him as he'd pulled up to change horses, and hadn't ceased offering encouragement and good thoughts throughout the process. Once he'd gotten adjusted in the saddle, she'd handed up a cloth bag containing fresh buttered bread with jam, a small canteen of coffee, and another of water, to "fortify" him for the challenges to come. She'd continued her promises of prayers for a happy outcome even as she'd extracted two more items from her robe. He'd taken a quick look at them while offering his thanks and nestling them into the pockets of his canvas duster. One was a detailed replica of an Overland stagecoach her husband had carved. The other item was a small doll with a hand-sewn, stuffed body, and a porcelain head. The face was painted with large brown eyes, an angelic smile, and glowing cheeks. The hair was tied into thick braids held with pink ribbons just as Lizzy's had been on the day she'd shared the stage with the older woman. He remembered that Evangeline was known for her dolls, and she had created something that even from his brief glance, bore a striking resemblance to its future owner.

The appreciative smile that had softened his scowl turned to a grimace as he readjusted his position in the saddle. One thing had become clear on this ride; he'd aged since he'd last spent hours on horseback. He was active at his job and on the estate, but his shoulders, hips, and vertebrae were protesting the jarring they were taking, and every inch of skin in contact with the saddle leather felt seared.

Just two weeks ago his heart had swelled with anticipation when he'd watched his children's faces as they'd gotten their first look at the Ponderosa. As this journey came to its conclusion, he wondered if this blessed place of his youth had laid claim to his little ones.

The yard provided a few clues as he pulled in and looked around. Most of the pasture and corral horses were missing, indicating the crews were out. The chuck wagon was backed up to the kitchen door as Hop Sing did when readying food to take to the men.

He had to tamp down his disappointment at not finding his family there, readying for a normal day. His knees buckled slightly from fatigue when both feet hit the ground as he dismounted, and his unease was evidenced by the trembling in his hands as he held onto the edge of his saddle while waiting for the stiffness in his legs to ease. Once his lower joints were supporting him, he did a few deep knees-bends and headed toward the back door.

Hop Sing was exiting the kitchen just as Adam approached, and the near collision left both men grabbing at the toppling stack of boxes the small man was carrying. After getting everything stowed safely in the wagon, Hop Sing could finally issue his uncomfortable welcome. "So sad thing, Mista Adam. Sorry you return to such news!" He looked back at the empty yard. "Mista Ben tell me of bad thing with Missus Cartwright when he bring Jamie home last night. She is all right?"

Adam closed his eyes briefly as he remembered that coming home to help find his children was only half of his worry. "She's recovering in the hospital."

Hop Sing nodded and patted Adam's hand. "She be fine; children be fine. You see."

"Is everyone out looking for AJ and Lizzy?" Adam asked as they entered the house.

"I go there now with food. Jamie upstairs resting. Family and many ranch hands by lake."

"Why is Jamie resting?" Adam sent his friend a perplexed squint.

"Young man shot in arm during…" Hop Sing struggled to find the words to explain what had happened. He finally settled for, "foolishment." Adam's slack-jawed stare made the cook aware that he had no idea what had happened. "Your father bring Jamie home last night after doctor say boy rest 'til morning. He also say you coming, and I show you letter he write if I see you." He didn't wait for Adam to reply before walking into the living area and pointing at Ben's desk. "That tell you more." The small man pointed back towards the kitchen. "Hot coffee and warm food on stove. You eat, read letter; I go now."

As much as he needed to read what his father had written, he also needed a moment to gather his thoughts. Once Hop Sing was gone, he filled a mug with coffee and retrieved a bottle of whiskey from the cabinet in the dining room, adding enough to his cup to chase away the chill that was constricting his chest and making it hard to breathe.

After a few sips of the laced coffee began to soothe the tension, he made his way to the green leather chair; picked up the pages, and leaned forward onto the desk to read them. Neither his father's opening warning that he would hold nothing back nor in the initial story about the broken plans with Abigail, prepared him for the horror that began to unfold on the second page. He'd forced himself to rest on the train, and while he'd dozed, his father's words from the telegram had swirled at the edge of his sleep. He'd convinced himself that his children had simply wandered off from the others they'd been with. He'd kept the hope of an easy recovery, tethered to him on the ride. But what he was reading; he couldn't have imagined _this_ in his worst nightmares.

By the time he reached the part about his son and daughter being abandoned in the boat and worms being dumped on Lizzy's head, his hands were shaking so hard, he had to lay the sheets of paper flat on the desk to continue. His rage was so consuming that he didn't hear the plop of his tears as they hit the desk and splashed onto the paper until the words on the lower portion of the page began to dissolve. He pulled his shirt cuff over his hand and used the fabric as a blotter to keep the writing from disappearing.

With the last sentence of the long note burning in his soul, he allowed his rage to billow. He stood abruptly, catching his heel on the castor of the chair and tripping as he tried to take a step. Before he could form a reasoned thought, he gripped the arms of the heavy chair; lifted it to shoulder height and tossed it toward the middle of the room as though it was a twig. His anger eased for a moment with the physical release, but then an image of Lizzy crying in her torment, fueled it to a boil again. He grabbed the edge of his father's desk. This substantial piece of furniture always required two people to move it, but its size was no match for Adam's mental state. He'd raised the back legs several inches when the lamp on the desktop slid along the slippery surface and crashed to the floor. A quick reverse of his handhold allowed him to thrust the desk forward. He released a primal yell as the desk yielded its hold on gravity and flipped over, joining the shattered fragments of green glass on the plank floor.

His breath was ragged and the tears washed down his face as he pushed his fists into his eyes to stop the images of his daughter screaming, and his son trying to untie his ropes fast enough to help her. The agony was compounded by the remembrance of not getting to Melinda fast enough to prevent what had happened at the hotel. He was overwhelmed with his own impotency to control either situation. The world was full of insanity and he'd face so much of it in his life. Life in Boston had gotten off to a rocky start, but had been uneventful for the last years. He'd come to think that his children might remain unaware of the ugliness of an individual's cruelty exacted for its sake alone. He moaned as he thought about this place among the pines that had been his solace when life had been the hardest, and he wondered when it had turned into a monster. Was the Ponderosa taking its revenge on him for leaving? He'd left for a good reasons, and he'd felt at ease with his decision. But in returning, had this land laid claim to him again, and would it not be satisfied until it sent his children, his wife, and finally him to that white picket-fenced plot near the lake?

The questions, doubts, and pure misery were grinding at him, making him nauseated and dizzy. He knew he had to regain control if he was to do anything useful. A few deep breaths began to slow his heart rate and calm his racing mind. A final deep breath seemed to restore his equilibrium, and he shook his head in observing the desk resting on its side with its legs sticking out like a calf awaiting a brand. A caustic smile replaced the tortured grimace. As bad as it looked, the desk would stay as it was until he had help to reset it. Sunlight refracting from the glass on the floor brought him back to action. He knelt to check what was left of the lamp, becoming concerned about it leeching oil into the wooden floor and creating a combustible situation. His fear eased when he saw that although the base, shade, and chimney had broken into a thousand pieces, the oil reservoir had held together. He picked that section up gently, trying not to disturb the visible cracks, and carried it out the front door, placing it off to the side of the house where the oil would be absorbed into the sandy loam.

He reentered the house through the kitchen, grabbing a broom and dustpan along the way. Glass bits were everywhere, and he'd started sweeping them into a pile when he noticed movement at the top of the stairs. "Come on down, Jamie," he said with a gentle laugh. "I'm done being destructive." The boy seemed frozen to the spot, and when he looked directly up at the teen, he saw that Jamie was holding a well-stuffed satchel. His reasoning was still clouded by pain, but it didn't take great powers of deduction to figure out what was going on.

Jamie finally spoke. "I didn't know you'd made it back until I heard…"

"Me tossing furniture around?" Adam supplied.

A quick grin returned even more quickly to a serious scowl. "I heard the door and thought you'd left again."

"So you figured it was a good time for you to escape." The humor had left Adam's voice. "That bag you're holding… Are you going somewhere?"

The young man pulled his shoulders back as he adopted a defiant stance and facial expression. "They're my clothes…but only the ones I came with. I'm heading east. I hear New England's pretty nice this time of year, and my grandfather will be pleased that I've decided to come live with him."

Adam placed the broom on the floor, and went to lean against the lower banister. "You've been with my father and brothers for two years now. You must have learned that Cartwrights don't run away when things get tough." He pulled in a whistling breath and blew it out slowly. "And I know your grandfather, Jamie. He runs a fair-sized shipyard. It could use updating, yet I haven't approached him because I don't want him to think I'm asking for special consideration. I know others who _have_ worked with him, and report that it's like running full-on into a brick wall. He runs an honest, profitable business, but he's firmly set in his way; insists that he alone knows what's best, and has a high code of ethics—at least as he expects of others. I don't see him welcoming you with open arms simply because you found yourself in the middle of a mess out here. I'm betting he'd show you the door and tell you to come back when you wanted to be there, not because you want a place to hide."

The boy's bravado broke as his shoulders slumped. "I can't stay here either. Everyone blames me for what happened. I'm betting that right now you want to toss me like you did that chair."

Adam laughed. "No wonder you looked so scared!" He motioned for Jamie to join him. "Could you help me lift the desk? Then we'll talk."

 **Two**

Ruth held a glass of broth to Melinda's lips. "Take a few sips of this," she encouraged. "The doctor wants you to have liquids when you're awake."

Melinda took a tentative swallow and then shook her head. "That's all I can handle. Could I have water instead?" The groggy woman's eyes closed briefly and then fluttered open again. "Did you already tell me how badly I was shot?"

"A few times," Ruth chuckled. "And the doctors told you a few more. But that's not unusual. You've been in a fog of shock and recovery. Shall I tell you again?"

"Please. Maybe I'll remember this time."

"I'm sure you will. You're more alert now." Ruth sat on the edge of the bed. "The gun Fran used was a small caliber, so the boning in that beautiful belt you were wearing was enough to slow and angle the bullet. It left a long path that bled like an overflowing creek, but it didn't go deep." She spent a few minutes explaining the surgery before concluding, "You'll feel exhausted while your body adapts to the blood loss, and begins to replenish the supply"

"I do remember all that." Melinda's nose puckered after she took a long swallow of water from the glass Ruth held for her. "I'm not ungrateful for your company and care, Ruth, but where is Adam? I can't remember him being here."

"He was here at first, and I'm sure he's disappointed that he hasn't been here when you've awoken." Ruth turned abruptly from her patient to hide her blush at the half-truth. She rose and busied herself setting things in order on the bedside table and then grabbed the tray with the uneaten broth and hurried toward the door.

Melinda tried to call after her, but it took all her strength to raise her head. Her eyes slid shut as her she sank back into the pillow.

Ruth was greatly relieved to find her charge sleeping when she returned, but she paced the room as she practiced different ways of telling Melinda what she would soon demand to know. She raised her eyes heavenward and whispered, "Please help Adam find their children quickly, Father. I don't know how their mother will handle the news if they remain missing. And in your wisdom, give me the words to be truthful, while not sounding as dire as that telegraph seemed."

 **Three**

It had taken effort, ingenuity, and engineering to return the desk to upright. Adam had seen Jamie favoring his arm even though the young man had claimed it didn't hurt. That had made him rethink the plan to take opposite sides and right it through brute force. Instead, he'd lifted it from the floor in increments after blocking the lower legs to keep them from sliding, and had Jamie stack books under the edge until it was angled high enough that their three good arms could apply enough leverage to tilt it into place.

After rolling the chair to its normal position, Jamie gave Ben's restored office area a once over. He grinned at Adam. "Everything looks fine except for the missing lamp, but I don't want to know what Pa'll say when he opens a drawer. I heard everything sliding around in there when we flipped it."

"You'll hear what he has to say as long as you're within a mile of the house. He can't abide anyone…ah…rearranging his desk. He'll be busy a full day putting it back in order."

To see if it was as bad as they both thought, Adam joined Jamie behind the desk and opened the middle drawer. The inside was a jumble of writing implements, clips, and miscellaneous thingamabobs that had vacated their individual compartments. Worse yet was that some of the mess had fallen behind and were now lodged there, preventing it from closing completely. He cringed first and then laughed as he imagined his father's expression the first time he used the desk.

His laugh died away in the silent room as his mind returned to more pressing matters. "Hop Sing said he hadn't seen you today, so I don't suppose you've had breakfast." The young man shook his head. "He also mentioned leaving something warming on the stove. Let's go see what we can find. We'll talk while we eat, unless you still want to run away."

Jamie followed his older "brother" into the kitchen and put plates and silverware on the table while Adam gathered a basket of biscuits, butter, and the plates of bacon and scrambled eggs Hop Sing had placed by the oven vent.

The older Cartwright poured coffee before disappearing into the dining room to grab the bottle he'd used as an additive earlier. He held it out towards his companion after adding a good dose to his cup. "Have you ever had whiskey?"

"No, but today might be a good day to start." He grinned as he held up his cup.

"I don't think so." Adam set the bottle on the table. "I had my first taste of liquor after I'd split my lip when I was twelve. Joe's mother, Marie, wanted to stitch it back together, and Pa figured I'd be more amenable to that method of repair if he gave me something to dull my senses. That brandy felt good going down, but I'm pretty sure he regretted his thinking when I threw up on his shirt a little later."

A chuckle turned into a laugh as Jamie imagined his adoptive father dealing with a shirt covered in Adam's lunch. He stopped abruptly as he remembered what was happening in the present, and stared at Adam. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Why wouldn't I be…nice?"

"You read Pa's letter. I let your kids be…tormented…and abandoned, and no one can find them now. I'd think you'd hate me."

Adam grabbed the edge of the table as he relived the emotions he'd felt while reading his father's note. When he was calm again he laid his hand on Jamie's arm. Nothing in what Pa wrote places any blame on you. I know you feel horrible, but you did what Cartwrights do, Jamie. You played your hunch, and stayed alive so you could keep trying. What good would it have done for you to provoke them into doing something even worse? You got away to tell the story. Pa has always said, 'When there's life, there's hope.' As far as we know, AJ and Lizzy are fine, and we just have to help them get home." He saw the boy's confusion reflecting back at him. "What else is bothering you?"

"It's just…" Jamie faltered. He sighed sharply as he began again. "It's just that Cartwrights would never let something like this happen to one another. How can I claim to be one of you when I couldn't prevent this?"

A low rumble started in Adam's chest and worked its way out as a wry laugh. "My brothers and fathers need to tell you _all_ the stories about the Cartwrights, not just the good ones. That cut lip I just told you about; Hoss did that to me. He didn't mean to, but he did. And if you want to know whether I've ever experienced the same soul wrenching doubt you're feeling right now, then you'd have to know about the time I shot Little Joe."

"You…shot Joe?" Jamie squeaked out. "On purpose?"

"There were times I might have thought about doing it on purpose, but that wasn't one of them. He stepped in front of a shot I'd taken at a wolf. It got even worse because that wolf pounced on him when he went down. We were a long way from home, and I had trouble getting the medicine Joe needed once we finally made it to the house and the doctor prescribed it. Those delays nearly cost Joe his life."

"Wow!"

"There was a time during that ordeal when I'd decided to leave the Ponderosa too, but not until I'd faced the outcome. I was older than you are when that happened, so I won't hold it against you that you were prepared to bolt." He smiled warmly at the youngster. "Something tells me you would have done the right thing with a little more thought. My father wouldn't have adopted a coward."

Jamie nodded. "So what do we do now?"

Adam grabbed a biscuit and slathered it with butter and jam. He was chewing as he continued. "I know you've already told others what happened, but I need to see it through your eyes now, and get your thoughts as to why things went as they did. Don't hold back even if it means telling me that Lizzy or AJ provoked these boys—intentionally or otherwise. We can't figure out this puzzle until we put all the pieces together."

Jamie spent the next hour going over every detail of the outing. It was easier to tell this time. They continued eating during the discussion, so it didn't feel like he was on trial as it had before. Well, maybe he still felt like he was on the witness stand, but Adam was _his_ attorney, not the prosecutor. There was question after question posed as Adam listened, making him think harder about each detail. And the best part was that Adam wanted his opinion. Everyone else had just wanted the "facts," and then had told him what _they_ thought. He was able to relive the sequence of events without fear eating away at his innards; baring his soul and sharing his horror with the one person he'd thought would judge him most.

It was difficult for Adam to keep his feelings in check as Jamie spoke. Yet it had been easier "hearing" the story than it had been reading it. He asked for clarification, and received very thoughtful answers and opinions from this young man. This allowed him to see the day unfolding instead of just feeling raw pain, and he formed a few more questions along with some hope. "Tell me again what you told AJ while you rigged the knots."

Jamie closed his eyes as he pictured those desperate moments. "I said I'd be back for him, but if he did get free, he should take Lizzy and hide."

"Now tell me what you saw when you went back to where you'd left my children."

"Their horse was gone. But then I saw that the boat was still way out from shore and overturned. I didn't know whether they'd made it out and rode for home, or drowned. That's when I went crazy and charged those two boys. The one got so riled that he shot me when he tried to put the gun away, and then they tore off. I called and called for AJ and Lizzy, and we saw a couple things when we looked around, but then decided that we needed help."

"You said you saw 'things'…such as?"

"Lizzy's boot was on the ground. She wouldn't have left without that. And one of her hair ribbons was snagged in a loose splinter on the boat."

The uncertainty he saw in Jamie's eyes made him ask, "What bothers you about those things?"

"Once we all got there and looked around, they also found her apron draped over some brush at the edge of the water. That…and the ribbon looked…almost…"

"Staged?"

A nod. "That apron was double-knotted. I know because I tied it that way when it kept coming open. The water would have tightened the knot, and even if it did it come open, how did it slip over Lizzy's head and end up so neatly on a bush?"

Adam breathed fully for the first time since reading the telegram. "That's an astute observation. It might have happened if the waves brought it to shore and the wind picked it up. Was the wind onshore or off?"

"Off," the young man said without hesitation. "I kept thinking that even if it had come off, it should have blown further out or sunk."

"Exactly!" Adam's face screwed up in thought. "Did AJ have any idea where he was? We never went to that part of the lake."

This time the young man shook his head. "He knew we'd come from the fishing pond, but they blindfolded him."

"Pa spent a lot of time one day going over a map of the Ponderosa with him, explaining what we did in each part, so AJ might have figured out where he was from the lake's contour."

"He'd have to get up higher to see that," Jamie said excitedly. "But there were no tracks leaving the water. We looked a long ways down-shore and even Hoss couldn't find anything." His shoulders fell again and he bowed his head.

"You said down-shore. Did they only search in the direction towards the house?"

"Yes. Even if AJ didn't know exactly where he was, he would have heard which way we'd gone when we left. He wouldn't have moved towards us."

A smile began to grow along with Adam's hope. "AJ might have reasoned that he should do just that. He knew those boys planned to come back and that they'd think he'd headed for the house when they saw the horse gone. He couldn't go fast enough to get ahead with Lizzy on that little saddle. He wouldn't want to be caught." He pictured what might have happened. "I think AJ would have hidden in the brush along the lake until he could run…"

"…To the shelter of the tree line, and then upwards!" Jamie shouted in conclusion.

"Where he could see his location and the direction home," Adam added.

"Do you think that's what happened?"

"There are only a couple of options to consider. They didn't make it home; so they either drowned, fell off the horse somewhere along the way, or they headed for the safety of the hills. I'm sure they've already searched the most direct road home; we don't have true evidence of drowning, so I'm going with the hills."

 **Four**

Ruth could feel Melinda watching her from the moment she carried a tray with broth and juice into the room. When she spoke, her voice pitched too high as she tried to sound cheery. "I expected you'd be waking up, so I got your lunch." With the nourishment safely deposited on the table, she opened the curtains and raised the window to let in more fresh air while keeping her back toward the patient. Her uneasiness was burning in her cheeks and she wore a lingering grimace in testament to how unnatural she'd sounded.

"Where's Adam." There was no pleasantness in Melinda's tone. "I want to see my husband…now!"

"He isn't here, I'm afraid," Ruth answered without turning. "He might not have expected you'd be awake this soon."

"You're saying _you_ were able to figure out that I'd be able to eat something because I'd be awake, but Adam chose this time to go do something else?" Receiving no answer, she said forcefully, "Look at me, Ruth. You're a good friend, but a horrible liar."

Ruth knew the time had come. She could continue digging a deeper hole of half-truth or be honest. When she'd considered it earlier, she'd decided the amount of truth she'd reveal depended on how well Melinda was doing, and this strong-willed woman seemed strengthened by the mystery. "He doesn't want you to worry," Ruth finally blurted out. "It's just that he can't be here right now." She pushed the tray-laden table to the side of the bed while taking a deep breath. "Let's get started; it's very important that you eat."

Despite Ruth's reassurance, Adam's absence let Melinda know that something was very wrong, and she wasn't in the mood for word games. "I think I _could_ use something to eat," she said while giving Ruth an innocent smile. "But it would go down better if I was sitting up. Could you help me?" Melinda's mouth set in a solid line as she gathered strength for what she was about to do. When she was upright, she grabbed the sleeve of Ruth's dress, and hung onto it. With their faces inches apart, she said, "Where is Adam? Tell me or I'll scream, and then I'll ask the nurse where he is when she comes. And if she doesn't tell me, I'll keep screaming until someone answers me."

"All right." Ruth agreed as she pulled her arm free and stood up. "I promised Adam I wouldn't say anything until you were stronger. But," she grinned at Melinda, "I think you just proved that you have a little muscle power returning, and you're thinking straight enough to be devious."

Melinda shared what had been hiding in the back of her mind. "Was there a second shot in the hotel room?" Ruth nodded. "Did that one strike Adam? That's the only reason I can think of for him not being here."

Ruth shook her head. "He was here at the beginning…until he got a telegram from Nevada, and had to go."

"Oh, no!" Melinda's jaw dropped as she considered this news. "Is Ben ill…or…?" She didn't wait for an answer. "It must be Ben. Adam wouldn't have left except for his father." Her world began to dissolve around her as she watched Ruth's face for confirmation, and saw none. The "except for" principle she'd used began to widen as she thought about who else was back on the Ponderosa, and her hand moved to her mouth as she envisioned Lizzy and AJ. "No," she moaned while grabbing for Ruth's hand. "Please tell me it's not one of the children." Ruth seemed unable to form words, but Melinda could see the pure desperation in the other woman's eyes. The communication was silent, yet loud enough to fill the room. "Both of them?" she whispered. "Ill?"

There was no turning back. "Both of them…are missing." Ruth sat on the bed and pulled Melinda into her arms as the stunned mother began to cry.

"I don't understand," Melinda finally choked out. "They were with three adults."

Ruth held Melinda tighter. "The telegram said only that they were missing after an outing, and that you should come home immediately."

"Then they weren't aware that I'd been injured?" Ruth shook her head. "Perhaps if they'd have known, they wouldn't have expected him to come?"

"I don't know what you mean." Ruth pulled away to study Melinda's face.

"I'm trying to gauge how serious this is. If they'd have said not to come once they knew I was in the hospital, then perhaps the children were already safe, but wanting us home."

Ruth looked down and closed her eyes, knowing that her next words would crush Melinda. "I took Adam's note to the Western Union office so he could stay with you. He wired Ben that you'd been hurt, and he'd be coming alone. Ben had waited in Virginia City for Adam to respond, and I received an immediate reply. It said for him to go to the house first where there'd be a note with the details."

"Nothing else? He didn't say what happened?"

"I assume it was too complicated for a telegram. Adam left about 14 hours ago, and if all went well, he is there and looking for them by now. He promised he'd update us once he knew the situation."

Melinda's face reflected the granite quality of her will. "I need to be there, Ruth. It won't be enough to get…updates."

"I can't imagine how awful this is for you, and being helpless to assist must feel like flames licking at your heart. But you're in no shape to get out of bed, much less travel."

"I feel fine," Melinda vowed, even as she winced while adjusting her position. "Well maybe not fine, but I don't hurt any more than I did after having the children, and I was up and around the day after they were born." Talking about her babies renewed her tears. "I have to be there. Please help me."

Ruth was up pacing. "The pain isn't the problem. It's the blood loss. You've made progress just in sitting up, but if you tried to stand, you'd end up in a heap. The best place for you is in that bed. Right now you think you can take on the world because adrenaline is flooding your body. But your recovery is only beginning."

"I am exhausted," the patient admitted as she leaned heavily onto the pillows behind her. "But I saw your face while you were pacing, and I think you have an idea. Tell me about it, and I'll do whatever I need to." Her posture steeled as she sat up again and faced her friend. "I pray we'll hear that the children have been found and all is well, but if Adam hasn't confirmed that by the end of today, then I will head home, with or without your help."

Ruth's laugh echoed in the room. "That's your plan? You're just as hard-headed as your husband. I'm curious; how do you expect to board a train, climb into a stage and still later, a wagon, if you don't have the strength to get out of bed?"

A resigned smile played at the corner of Melinda's mouth. "How about I work on getting stronger. You can figure out the rest." She took Ruth's hand. "Don't look so surprised that I'd put this in your hands. Have you forgotten that you're still White Buffalo Woman, even if you're also Ruth Halversen? You made a life for yourself on that mountain despite the odds against you. The prospect of getting me home is nothing compared to that."

Ruth saw her friend's despair at being so removed from her children. A memory of her father's unending agony over thinking she'd died frightened and alone while he'd recovered in safety, came to mind. It had weighed heavily for his entire life. Finding her as an adult made him happy, but he never recovered from the years of doubt and self-loathing. She hadn't been able to fix that for him, but she could help Melinda. "I do have an idea. Let's pray it's not necessary, but I'll start the arrangements, while you," she put her finger on Melinda's nose, "start eating everything I bring you. We can't replace the blood you lost but you can give your body everything it needs to make more. And the liquids will add volume to your circulation, and flush the last of the ether from your system. You're going to stand up this afternoon, and then sit in a chair. By tomorrow, you're going to take a few steps. We'll leave when you can walk out the door."

 **Five**

Ben's, "Is there no end to the madness in this world?" accompanied his long sigh after hearing Adam's brief explanation of Melinda's encounter with the insane woman. "I'm sorry you had to leave her and come home to…this."

"Fortunately Melinda thinks so well of Ruth that I could leave. Ruth knows the staff at the hospital, and I have to admit that I saw her White Buffalo Woman's fierceness when she demanded answers and the best room for Melinda. I have no doubt that she will continue to be a mighty advocate."

Hoss and Joe had come over when they'd seen Adam and Jamie ride up, and listened to their brother's recap wearing the same dumbfounded expression as their father. Hoss nodded. "I only met Ruth once, and although she seemed shy, there was somethin' powerful about her."

Joe nodded towards Jamie who'd gone over to talk to the Starke boys. "He looks better this morning."

"Paul prescribed rest, and I think that was the best medicine." Ben looked at Adam. "Did you get the feeling that he'd slept?"

"He said he had. I'm sure it wasn't easy, but sometimes your body accomplishes what it needs to do no matter how you feel about it. His arm still hurts. He favored it when he, ah…" Adam recalled when he'd seen the boy wincing, and decided his family didn't need to hear about that part of the morning. "…was helping in the kitchen."

"I'm glad you got him to eat something," Ben said thoughtfully. "I know he feels responsible."

Adam nodded, and waited to say more until Jamie trotted back to them. "The two of us went over the details, and we have a few ideas."

"Where have you been searching this morning?" Jamie asked the others.

"I keep goin' over the same shoreline hopin' for any clue that AJ and LIzzy came out of the water," Hoss explained. "And Joe took men into the tree-line up there lookin' for some sign that they'd gone there to hide." He shook his head sadly. "But there ain't nothin' either place."

The tightness in Adam's throat and chest kept him silent as it had at other times since receiving this news. A few deep breaths allowed him to speak again. "Did you search the shoreline towards where the others went to fish?"

"No," Joe answered. "They wouldn't have headed _towards_ the people who'd hurt them."

"Adam and I think they might have," Jamie said forcefully as he looked up at his "oldest brother". "AJ might have snuck along the shore to see what we were doing, maybe hiding in the brush until we rode past on the way back to where we'd left them. Then they could have run to the woods."

Hoss nodded as he considered the new information. "That makes a heap'a sense."

"It gives us a new course to follow." Adam looked pointedly at each Cartwright. "Jamie and I tore this ordeal apart for clues. There's still a lot of 'ifs' involved, but we think AJ created two diversions to keep those boys wondering whether they'd headed for home or drowned. That indecision would have given AJ and Lizzy time to run for safety."

Hoss turned towards Adam. "That's a lot of strategy for a nine-year-old. You think AJ could'a put a plan like that together?"

He closed his eyes for a moment as he pictured his children being swallowed by the undertow of the lake. "AJ's an intuitive kid, and he could have figured this out. On the other hand, it may be just as it appears: the horse spooked and ran, and AJ and Lizzy fell overboard with their hands tied and were sucked into deeper water. But I'm not ready to believe that yet."

Joe sighed. "I hate to point this out, but if they'd managed to hide, why didn't they come out when they saw Jamie or us looking for them?"

Adam's face paled. "That crossed my mind." He pinched the bridge of his nose and concentrated before addressing Jamie. "You only looked in the area of the boat at first, and then left for several hours?"

Jamie nodded. "When they didn't answer I knew I'd need help."

"So the children were too far away to hear you calling at first. They may have waited a while, but then headed up the hill when you didn't come for them. It's possible they heard the gunshot and AJ decided he'd have to get somewhere safe, just as you told him. Once he figured out where they were, they started home. It would take a long time to make the trip on foot, and they'd have stopped when it got dark. Let's make a last sweep of the lake to find their starting point. Then we'll go overland."

Adam sent Hoss and Joe to make a final sweep of the shoreline where the boat had been found, and then took Ben aside. "I need you to do two things, Pa. First, I'd like you to ask the townsfolk to leave. The ones who came out this morning are mostly gawkers who might destroy evidence in their zeal to seem busy. Then, please cull the crew to half, keeping the best trackers here and sending to the others back to ranch work. We'll be much better off with a small, organized group."

Ben readily agreed to those requests, but Adam knew his final appeal wouldn't set as well since it meant his father would have to leave the search. He edged into his plea. "Pa, you're the only one I trust to do this. I wrote a telegram containing the barest of truth for you to send to San Francisco. I need you to send it and then stay in town until you hear back from Ruth about Melinda's condition."

"Will Ruth tell Melinda what's going on?"

He grinned resignedly. "Melinda, will pick up on Ruth's anxiety as soon as her eyes are open, and hold her down until she explains why I'm not there." He handed over the note he'd composed at the house. "Nothing can ease what this says, but I kept it hopeful. I trust you to make a decision about what more to divulge. I've no doubt those two are going to demand it. I also need you there if there are decisions to be made as to Melinda's treatment."

On his way back to the shore, Adam picked up a long branch and made sure it was strong enough to withstand pressure without snapping. He and Jamie were going to search the lake's edge in the direction they thought the children had actually gone. The younger Cartwright agreed to walk on land looking for damage to the brushy growth indicating someone exited the water, while Adam moved the small boat along the water's edge, using the branch as a punt. Finding nothing on their first pass deflated their hope, but Adam hollered. "This time I'll get closer to shore, and we'll look at animal runs ending at the lake."

"I already looked at those and didn't see footprints, Adam," Jamie hollered back. "The ground is pretty roughed up though. Hoss had people leave their horses here, and they came to the edge to drink."

"I'll meet you by each clear spot," Adam said while pointing. "Maybe I'll see something from the water."

Man and boy began searching again. Adam smiled at Jamie before shouting as he slipped from the boat and waded along the shallow edge. He pointed downwards. "There are small footprints sunk in the muck along here."

Jamie's excitement made him turn circles like an excited puppy as he tried again to find evidence leading from the lake.

Hoss and Joe came running after hearing Adam's shout, but stopped short with their brother's warning, waiting for direction.

"I found prints! Joe, help Jamie look up there, and Hoss, get in the water farther down and work the edge towards me."

The brothers in the water found more toe prints and even a few handprints where AJ might have reached down to steady himself. This sign of life elated Adam while simultaneously breaking his heart. Were these imprints made by the same tiny toes he'd tickled and pretended to nibble on when his children were younger? It wasn't that long ago when such play had made Lizzy scream with laughter and feigned fright as she'd holler, "Don't eat me, Daddy!" He knew from the accounts of the ordeal that this same little girl had been screaming in pure terror 24-hours earlier, and he wished there was another desk handy.

As he and his brother neared the spot where the prints ended, Adam spotted something that made his blood turn as cold as the lake. He pointed to a spot just below the grass on shore, and asked Hoss, "Did you reach down to steady yourself there?"

"Not that I recall, but I might'a. I'm a little top-heavy at times." Hoss sent his brother a raised lip inquiry. "Why'd ya ask?"

"There's a big handprint a near the smaller ones. One of us must have made it." He'd said it, but he didn't believed it. This print had been made by someone more Adam's size than Hoss's, and he knew for sure he hadn't done it. It could be a coincidence; a print made by a neighbor who come to the lake and steadied themselves as they'd reached down to rinse their hand after catching a fish. There were logical explanations, but lurking in his heart was the suspicion that its proximity to AJ's was no coincidence.

Darkness clouded Adam's mind as he considered what a man's presence with his children could mean. A thousand possibilities crowded in for recognition; none of them good. His thoughts remained awash in these variables until he was startled by Hoss's touch.

"Hey, Adam. We done proved your speculation." Hoss stretched his neck to see farther down the shoreline. "The little ones couldn't a seen them other boys from here, but I'm betting they could'a heard 'em just fine, and they skedaddled after the others rode past, like you said. Now we just gotta find where they went."

Little Joe bore his bad news to the pair creating puddles around their feet after climbing to shore. "Jamie and I can't find any small footprints up here."

Hoss hung his head. "It's my fault. I sent everyone this way to keep them from tramplin' things by the boat."

"You did what you thought best, Hoss." Adam made a visual search of the woods in the distance, before pointing. "That's where they would have gone. It's closest to where we are."

Joe moved so he could see the men and whistled for their attention. They were soon on their way with the family's horses in tow.

Adam sent the group out in a 180-degree arc from a central point at the edge of the woods. The mistake of eliminating the actual lake exit had delayed the correct search by nearly a day, and he had to catch up. The searchers rode a straight line along an invisible protractor, some going along the edge of the woods while others headed upwards at increments of the arc. The Cartwrights took the points nearest 90 degrees, thinking this would be the way AJ headed to see the lake below. The men were told to ride forward in 10-minute increments, and then leave their horses to mark how far they'd gone, and make a sweep of the pie-shaped space between themselves and the next rider on the arc.

Slim and Micah, hands who'd been with the Ponderosa for a few years, were searching the left sections of the woods adjacent to the road. They'd ridden out as instructed and had met as they'd begun searching on foot.

"This is a sad situation," Micah said as he removed his hat and used his shirtsleeve to wipe the sweat from his face. "It's like looking for two movin' needles in a haystack that don't stay put."

"Did you see anything?" Slim asked.

"Nothin', how's 'bout you?"

The tall, thin man shook his head. "I seen prints from two horses shortly after settin' out. They're hangin' the edge of the woods, but them kids is on foot, and besides these are goin' in the wrong direction."

"Probably a poacher tryin' to get away without bein' noticed after all'a us showed up." Micah looked up at the sky through the trees.

"That's what I'm thinkin' too." Slim agreed, and then followed his friend's gaze upward. "I noticed it was getting' cloudy but that looks like rain rollin' in." He shook his head again. "I ain't never liked being wet."

A shiver rippled across the other man's shoulders. "Maybe you should be thinkin' more about them little'uns instead of yerself. They must be half-starved, scared outta their wits, and wishin' they was home."

Slim huffed as he turned away and said quietly, "That's if they's not in that lake or a wolf ain't got 'em yet."

 **Six**

Melinda was sitting in a chair, and she smiled when Ruth entered. She inched forward on the seat but slid back when she was unable to stand. The smile turned to a disappointed grimace. "I thought maybe you'd run away," she teased. "You've been gone for hours."

"I haven't been home since you were brought here, and needed to bathe and change clothes." Ruth didn't say anything about her trip to the railyard to talk with them about the Cartwright's Pullman or the small yellow envelope that had been handed to her at the hospital's front desk when she'd returned. "You look good; there's even a little pink in your cheeks," she said enthusiastically.

"I'm getting tired now, but I enjoyed being out of bed. I haven't received anything from Adam yet, so I'm hoping everything is fine." Melinda noticed that Ruth's blink took a little too long. "Out with it."

Ruth pulled a chair over and handed her the telegram as she sat. "This just arrived. The receptionist told me they were about to bring it up when they saw me come in."

Melinda's hands were trembling as she slid her finger beneath the flap and opened the folds to read. _Still missing (Stop) Still looking (Stop) Hopes high for a quick find (Stop)_ She showed it to Ruth and leaned her head back. "I know Adam. And this," she raised the telegram for emphasis, "is a half-truth that confirms my worst fears. Those men know the ranch like the back of their hands. If they knew where my babies were, they'd have them already." Her face crumpled into agony. "There's something dreadfully wrong, and I need to know what it is." She reread the wire. "There's a handwritten note at the bottom saying that the sender is awaiting a reply about my condition."

"Do you think it's Adam?"

Melinda's head lolled side-to-side against the back of the chair. "I'm assuming its Ben or one of the hands. I can see Adam asking his father to do it in case there are decisions to make, but he's out looking for AJ and Lizzy. It's the only place he'd be now…unless…"

"I'm going to play devil's advocate," Ruth began. "It may even sound harsh, but you need to think this through. What can you do in Nevada that you can't do here where you're safe? You can't join the search. We can pray together here, and I can demand more explicit information from the person sending the wire."

Her spine steeled as it had earlier, and Melinda sat up to face Ruth eye-to-eye. "Maybe I can't help, but I can be there to support my husband's efforts. I will presume that our children are alive and will be found, but I can't wait around here until it happens." Tears began rolling down her cheeks. "Adam is already blaming himself for this; I know that as I know myself. He had misgivings about leaving them at the ranch." She watched as Ruth's eyebrows rose in surprise. "I don't mean that he distrusted his family. It's just that we've never been separated from them." She sniffed loudly. "It's not like them to wander off either. They're obedient and respectful, so whatever happened has darkness to it, and Adam needs me there to give him perspective."

Ruth understood her friend's fear. She'd seen the look in Adam's eyes the day before when Melinda had been wounded. He was a strong man who faced things dead on. But she wondered how much loss was too much for even a strong man. "I think you should rest now," she said as she rose to fold down the sheets and plump the pillow. "There are a few more details I'll have to work out tomorrow, but we'll leave on Tuesday."

"How are we getting there?" Melinda asked as she dried her tears on the sleeve of her robe.

"I don't want to say yet. There's a chance things won't work as I envision them." Ruth helped Melinda stand and inch her way to the bed, and got her tucked in. "Did you eat what they brought you for lunch and a snack?" Receiving a nod, she added, "That's good. I'm going to return the telegram and ask for a few more details while you sleep. I promise I'll be back soon. Your job is to get as strong as possible."

"Will you tell them we're coming?" Melinda asked as she struggled to stay awake."

"Not yet." After Melinda dozed off, Ruth pulled paper from the case she'd brought from home and read over the notes she'd made about what still needed to be done before their trip. She'd found out that Paul Martin was a Virginia City physician who was well-respected by the doctors at this hospital, so she decided to ask him to meet them when they arrived in Nevada. The railway had listened to Melinda's circumstances and promised to get the Pullman to their destination without difficulty. The hotel had packed Adam and Melinda's things, and sent them to the railyard, so that was done. She'd stopped at the police station earlier to explain the situation, and had given Sergeant Rooney a formal statement of the events at the hotel. He'd said that would suffice.

The hospital doctors weren't eager to discharge Melinda but understood that trying to keep her would be more harmful to her wellbeing, especially since the trip would be taken in what Ruth had described as a hotel on wheels. There was still the matter of gathering the hospital records Dr. Martin would need, and she'd need to build a fire under the staff to make sure they had the notes and supplies ready.

"We make quite a team, Mrs. Cartwright," she whispered as pulled the bedding up around Melinda's shoulders, and then headed out the door.

 **Seven**

The search on the rise had gone on about an hour when Hop Sing rang the dinner bell, and everyone headed in for a hot meal. Adam wasn't hungry, but he joined the group to hear their reports. He raised his coffee and swallowed a long gulp to help hide his disappointment at the lack of news.

A light drizzle began, making the men stop to don their raingear before going back to their plates. Adam pulled his brothers aside as the men ate. "I'm going back up the hill until I get to the point where I can see the lake's outline. From there, we'll go over the crest. Maybe we'll find a place where they hunkered in and slept or a clearer sign of them walking towards home."

Hoss began scraping his half-eaten lunch onto the ground. "Hang on a minute and I'll come with ya."

"Finish your lunch, Hoss. I'll fire my rifle once I find what I'm looking for. Then you lead the others to me, and we'll go from there."

Adam had sound reasons for wanting to be alone. Trying to keep the group of men on task gave him little time to think things through. Other than the sparse prints along the shore, there seemed nothing to indicate anyone had walked into the woods. The forest floor was covered with sharp, dead pine needles, brittle branches, and pointed cones sitting on-end, like wooden blades. This undercoat wouldn't show footprints, but he had expected to find a trail of disturbed cover if Lizzy and AJ had gone through. He hadn't seen so much as a broken needle or a disturbed branch.

What ate at his insides as he headed back into the shaded woods was that Lizzy had no shoes, and taking this route would have felt like walking on broken glass.

Rain was falling in large, biting pellets when he reached the ledge he'd seen from below. He'd used a different route going up but the ground was just as undisturbed. He had a good view of the corner of the lake from here and it started a new jumble in his mind. Their land was vast, yet he realized that this was one of the few places on the Ponderosa his son would recognize just from having seen the map. This solidified his conviction that it had to be the way the kids would have come. Yet there wasn't one bit of evidence to prove it. Time was flying, and the absence of clues could no longer matter. He had to trust his gut.

The natural formations that were tucked into the descending hill and the flatter land beyond could have provided shelter, so he decided not to waste any more time in the woods. They'd cross quickly to the downhill slope and search each rocky overhang and brushy den along the way. Then they'd sweep the route towards home.

A thought of his children out in the rain made his chest hurt. There was no time for emotional indulgence, so he drew a ragged breath, pulled his rifle from its saddle sheath and fired into the sky.

The unusual summer rain had continued for hours as the men had painstakingly made their way across the hill, and down to the rockier ground below. The group reached the road leading to the ranch house as dusk diminished the meager light managing to penetrate the thick cloud-cover. Adam rode out ahead and motioned everyone over. "You all need rest, so keep looking while riding to the ranch, and then stay there tonight."

The hands left silently without needing encouragement, but Hoss, Joe, and Jamie remained. "What're ya plannin' to do now?" Hoss asked. He shivered as the cool wind that had followed the rain caused a chill.

"I'll go back the way we came; the rest of you are going home." He nodded toward the older two. "You've been out here just as long as the rest of the men, and won't be any good if you're falling asleep in your saddles. And you," he indicated Jamie. "I saw you holding your arm whenever we stopped, so you'll rest tonight and go see Paul again tomorrow." He smiled at the boy. "There aren't many jobs available for one-armed cowboys, so we need to make sure you keep both of yours." He silenced the teenager's, "But," with a deadly stare and then a wink. "There's another reason I want you at the house. Someone has to tell me what happens when Pa uses his desk."

"Maybe you should come with us." The suggestion came from Joe, as he looked toward Hoss for agreement.

The middle brother chimed in. "I know it's hard to walk away, but you ain't likely to see nothin' in the dark. Why don't we all head back for a couple hours of shuteye, some dry clothes and hot food, and then set out before dawn."

Adam's voice held the emotion of the weary. "How do I engage in those comforts when my children are out there, wet, hungry, and now…cold."

Hoss moved Chubby closer to Adam, gently grabbing the halter of his brother's mount and leading horse and rider away from the others. "I know yer heart must be shriveled to the size of a pea about now." He said when they were far enough away for privacy. "You think that if you just keep at it, them little'ens are gonna appear, but it ain't gonna happen that way. AJ's smart. He's holed up somewhere through this weather, and he'll make for home tomorrow when he can see where he's goin' again. He told me how you taught him which berries he can eat, and there's lots growin' on that hillside. They're as hungry as bears, but they're not starvin'. They'll use each other to stay warm and AJ has figured out some way of protectin' Lizzy's feet, cuz I'm betting you done thought lots about that too."

He could see his brother's eyes were focused somewhere in the distance, and he wasn't being swayed. "I know what those demons in yer head are tellin' you right now, because I'm imaginin' every awful and gut-punching thought you've had. I love them kids, and my heart's done melted to nothin' at not findin' them. But if you push til yer tired and sick, what good does that do them? Things'll look better in daylight."

Adam finally turned towards Hoss. "Your logic is sound, but I have to keep trying…and I want to be alone. I'll find a place to rest, but I need to stay here. Maybe something will make sense in the silence: something I can't hear or think of with people around." He silenced as he organized his thoughts. "What I need you to do, is make sure Jamie goes to see Doc Martin in the morning. Have Pa send a note along asking Paul to keep Jamie in town all day…for observation…so he's forced to rest. Fire off a few rounds when the rest of you get near tomorrow, and I'll let you know where I am."

The brothers were getting ready to leave when a lone rider appeared out of the foggy mist along the road from town. The sons recognized their father's silhouette, and rode to meet him.

Ben bowed his head and closed his eyes as he listened to the status report of the search. He'd gone through this agony with each of his sons, wondering why they hadn't returned home—fearing the worst—while hoping against the odds. He'd beaten them those times, but he knew that the balance of fate swung both ways.

"What did you hear from Ruth?" Adam asked, impatiently waiting for his father's attention to return.

"Melinda is doing better than expected, according to the wire. But…,"

"What?" Adam demanded.

"Ruth asked for details saying Melinda couldn't rest without knowing more." He blew a breath. "Or that was the gist."

"What did you tell her?" Joe asked.

"I wrote that they'd been left alone as a trick by other children and got lost heading home on their own. I imagine that provoked even more questions. I told the operator to reply that I'd gone back to the ranch and would send more tomorrow, should they ask for more." Ben's face contorted in thought as he recalled what else had happened at the Western Union office.

Adam stared at his father. "I know that look, Pa. What are you holding back?"

"Another telegram came in immediately after the one for me. I couldn't see what Leo was writing but I did notice his initial scribble indicating the origin as San Francisco."

"And you don't think that was a coincidence." Adam said.

"I wouldn't have, except Leo told his runner to take the message to Paul Martin. It struck me as odd, yet why would Ruth send anything to Paul?"

Adam could imagine why, but he didn't share his thoughts. It would be like Melinda to risk her life to get to her children. What he couldn't imagine was how she would convince the doctors to allow her to leave. The wagon travel at the end of the train trip could tear her incision open. He wished he had time to talk to Paul, but he trusted that the good doctor would provide a voice of reason.

 **Eight**

By Monday evening, Adam's hope of simply finding his children was hanging by a spider's silk. The Sunday rain had erased any obvious evidence of where they'd gone, and the extensive search came up empty once again. He'd sent the men home for the night using the lake road, while he remained at the water's edge to check a theory that had been poking at his mind.

He shed his boots and re-inspected the area where they'd found the child-sized footprints. What he found swatted at that thread of hope, and made him consider another possibility.

The physical and emotional stress had worn Adam to the bone, aging him in every way. He'd had to let his muscles stretch after being on horseback for two days when he dismounted earlier. And he nearly crawled back onto land when his strength vanished just as his children had. His physical condition surprised him, and yet he recalled wondering how his father could look so much older on the day Ben Cartwright had found him pulling Kane on his death march through the desert. Now he understood completely.

His father and brothers had decided to stay with him at the lake and had gone to set up camp. He hadn't planned to join them, but his father had ridden over and issued a command for him to do so, and had kept dogging him until he'd complied.

He tied his horse and made his way to a rock next to the fire, where Hoss handed him a plate of the stew Hop Sing had sent along with them that morning. He'd also had no intention of eating, but while he'd been lost in thought, the fork had repeatedly risen to his mouth. When Hoss asked if he wanted more, he looked down, surprised to see his empty dish. The effect of the food was immediate and he soon felt some strength return.

After cups of coffee containing shots from the bottle Joe had stowed in his saddle bag, all four Cartwrights began to relax.

The hypnotic effect of the firelight and the lethargy created by the food and drink was interrupted when Hoss sat up and asked, "Where we going to look come mornin'?"

Adam had moved to the ground where he was reclining against his saddle. He'd been considering the same question, and had no answer to give. He remained silent until he sensed that everyone was holding their breath as they awaited a reply. "Have you ever felt that there was no answer—or at least no right one?" A short-lived grin formed as he heard the collective sigh released as he'd spoken.

Joe's question broke the renewed silence that Adam's question had brought with it. "Is that what you're thinking about _this_ situation?"

"We've already searched…to borrow a couple clichés, high and low; far and wide. We've followed our instincts in choosing their most probable course. And…we've eliminated them."

"The Ponderosa is so huge that even I get turned around in places we don't go often," Ben said kindly. "That could easily happen to children. We just need to go farther and wider."

"No, Pa!" Adam's tone rang with despair, haloed with anger. "It could be true if this had happened in one of the more barren areas of the ranch with few landmarks. But not here." He sat up, grabbing a twig next to him, and drew the familiar map of the Ponderosa in the dust near the fire. His family moved closer to watch as he added lines representing the lake front, fishing pond, existing roads, and finally an X for the house.

He signed deeply as he looked into the faces of each man. "Here are the facts." He pointed to his map. "This is where AJ and Lizzy disappeared. AJ might not have been here before, but this spot would be the least likely place for him to get lost." He drew in curved lines along the lake's edge. "These pine-covered hills extend for miles in both directions, but we're in the one valley that connects the Tahoe shore to where they were fishing. That fact also puts us in the lowest foothills of the range. There is _no way_ AJ would have led his sister into deeper woods or higher hills."

He sought his father's face as his own drifted into an agonized mask. "You showed him Ponderosa maps, Pa. AJ remembers _everything_ he sees. He's been tested for recall and it's astounding. He doesn't 'know' everything, because he has to learn to use the information he remembers. But in this case…," He scrubbed his face as his breathing came in rapid bursts. "Pa…I haven't neglected teaching my son the things you taught me…things that could save his life in a situation like this. That along with remembering the map…."

Ben grasped his son's arm. "You're a wonderful father, Adam, and I know how much you've taught him. But AJ's young, inexperienced, and experienced a frightening situation."

"I understand that, Pa, but he would have remembered the landmarks on the map based on the topography of what he saw. He knew where they started, and would recognize the valley between the two timber ranges…and from that…." He returned to his visual aid. "He'd have known that the house was north-east. He'd have either gone over the smallest rise of the hill, probably cutting across on an angle just as we've done in our search, or gone back to the road along the lake. Both ways would eventually intersect with a main road. He would have followed the road, Pa, not continue on into the unknown…and…we would have found them by now."

"I see what ya mean, Adam, but I get the feelin' there's somethin' sorely botherin' you that haven't said yet." Hoss grabbed the coffee pot as he sat back and refilled his cup.

"Something's missing; something I can't figure out." Adam's haunted look was accented by the dancing flames of the fire. "It's beginning to feel like AJ and Lizzy ceased to exist at the edge of the lake…unless the land opened up and swallowed them, we should have found them…or some sign of them by now."

"We could have ridden by them while they slept," Joe suggested as he held his cup out to Hoss.

Hoss gave his younger brother a cautionary look. "We made enough noise shootin' our guns off out there that it would have woken the dead, Joe." His gaze settled on Adam. "Isn't that about what you're thinkin'?"

The granite expression Adam had tried to recapture splintered like the glass of the lamp that had fallen from Ben's desk. "There's something else. I checked the lake's edge again. Hoss and I saw one adult hand print, but today I found several more along the bank. We didn't see them the first time because we didn't look for them. It's obvious that there was an adult with those children. Bluntly put, our only 'evidence' of Lizzy and AJ, was likely just the remains of a father and his children cooling their feet in the shallows.

"So you're thinkin' that AJ and Lizzy are still in the lake." It was the hardest statement Hoss had ever made, and the absence of his brother's denial made him bolt upright and walk away, his metal cup clanging against stones in the dark as he threw it to the ground.

"You can't give up," Ben said quietly.

The silence lingered. "I'll keep looking until I find them, but we have to face…."He swallowed the remainder of his thought when he saw the agonized looks reflecting back at him. He laid his head back against his saddle. "I guess we'll do as you suggested, Pa, search farther and wider. But we should probably look deeper too." He thought a minute. "I don't want Jamie out here anymore, Pa. He's been a lot of help, but I'm glad you told him to stay with Paul tonight. I'll send a hand in tomorrow with another update for Melinda, and Jamie can wait in town for the answer to that. He pretends he's fine with being out here, but he looked worse than I did when he left last night."

Hoss returned to the group around the fire, and all four men hunkered into their blankets and private thoughts. Adam didn't want to sleep, but his eyes were heavy and his mind began to shut down its frantic pace as he muttered a final prayer. "Please, help me figure out what's missing."

 **Nine**

Melinda reached out from her comfortable nest in the Pullman bed and took Ruth's hand. "I still can't believe you arranged this in two days."

"And I can't believe you were able to walk out of the hospital this morning…even if you needed a little help. We each did what we had to." Ruth's smile faded as she remembered why the trip was necessary.

"Did you ever wire the family?" The patient asked.

"My only communication was with Doctor Martin. I'm sure he'd say something if he'd any of them. He'll meet us when we arrive, and we'll go to the ranch if he gives you a clean bill of health. Otherwise you'll stay put in this car until you're strong enough."

Melinda nodded as her eyes darkened. "Is it Tuesday?" Ruth nodded. "They've been missing four days. Surely there'll be good news when we arrive."

"I'm sure of that." Ruth released the handhold and busied herself with finding a place to store the supplies she'd brought for Melinda's care. An ambulance wagon had taken them to the train yard where the Pullman had been waiting at the end of an eastbound train. This was not an express, but the engineer had promised they'd be at the Virginia City spur by mid-afternoon. The railroad had arranged for an engine to meet the train and pull their car to a sidetrack near the city.

Melinda dozed off almost immediately after the train pulled out, and Ruth used the time to look around the amazing home on wheels. The closets held clothing from all four Cartwrights, but her heart seized for a moment when she saw the little shoes and outfits belonging to the children. She had tried to be encouraging and hopeful to keep Melinda's progress from stalling, yet she suspected a dire situation existed at their destination. She knew the soon-to-be reunion between Adam and Melinda would be a loving one, but she feared it would not be sweet.

Adam awoke in the lifting dark of early morning, and poked at the fire to get it going for coffee. His father rose on one elbow and whispered his greeting.

"Let's go out a ways and speak privately," the older man said quietly, as he stood and stretched out the tightness caused by a night on the hard ground.

"I already know what you're going to say," Adam said lightly as they walked away from camp. "I did need that rest and things do seem better this morning."

Ben slipped his arm around his son's shoulder. "A little sleep can cure many problems."

"I still think there's something wrong; some clue we're missing or something that happened that we can't even account for, but until that shows itself, we'll keep doing what we have been."

"That seems right." Ben's arm tightened into a hug as he breathed a deep sigh. "So where do you want us today?"

"Would you to ride over to Seth Marx's place and have him bring his big boat and the net he uses to fish? We'll drag the drop-off with that and use the small boat to make a visual search again in shallower water." He realized he'd ended his father's burst of morning positivity when the older man's arm dropped back to his side and he stared at the ground. "I don't want to find them in the lake any more than you do, Pa. And I'm not saying I think that's the only place they could be. But we've got to start eliminating where they're not. While a few of us do that, the rest of the men can comb through the woods a little farther, and follow the road away from the ranch, in case they got turned around."

Ben nodded slowly. "You're right, Adam. We have to look at all possibilities. It's just that it's so…"

Adam saw the look of grief that had released its hold overnight; overtake his father's face again. "Don't look that way, Pa. We'll do everything we can. Go wake those lazy brothers of mine while I tend to needs. He waited until he was alone before doubling over in agony because of the lies he'd just told. He _was_ determined to go on searching, yet he wasn't sure what they were searching for. Dropping to his knees, he raised his eyes and prayed for clarity as he had the night before.

Ben left as soon as his family finished a quick breakfast, and found Seth already out fishing a few miles down the shore. He got the fisherman to help by a promising to cover the income he'd have made if he'd spent the day fishing.

Joe rode the opposite direction to meet the men as they returned from the ranch, and set them up as a human chain to walk the foothills and near-woods for a final, thorough search. He'd seen a few eyebrows rise as he'd laid out his plans, and figured the men weren't thrilled about walking, yet the grumbling ceased when he reminded them what was at stake.

By 9 AM, Seth and Ben were netting in the deeper waters beyond the drop-off, while Hoss rowed the smaller boat with Adam hanging over the bow, watching for anything out of the ordinary in the clear water beyond the lake's edge.

"I've seen some big bass swimming around. Maybe I should drop a line and catch some for dinner," Hoss said, trying to gauge the depth of his brother's tension.

Adam didn't look back. "Sure, whatever you think best." Hoss stopped rowing, and that did make Adam turn around. "Do you see something?"

"Yeah, big brother; I see bass. Stay put a second, and listen to me." The big man ran his hand across his face. "Are you truly bein' thorough today, or do you believe that AJ and Lizzy are in here."

"A little of the one, while fearing the other," Adam answered truthfully. "Does it matter?"

"I s'pose not. But I'm not ready to think the worst yet."

"Then don't." Adam sighed deeply as his shoulders slumped forward. "I'd like to cross two possibilities as to where they are off the list of maybes, but I'm betting we'll end up with more questions."

"What'll we do then?"

"For one thing, I'll go to Virginia City and send out notices to nearby towns, alerting the sheriffs to be on the lookout for new families coming through."

Hoss's face paled. "Are ya thinkin' someone might have 'em?"

Adam shrugged. "There's the possibility that those foot prints were from AJ and Lizzy, and they were taken from here."

"Why would anyone do such a thing?"

"You remember that AJ was taken by that crazy woman while you were in Boston1. I was taken by a childless couple when I was little2, and even you experienced something like that as an adult after you lost your memory, and that couple tried to substitute you for their dead son. Maybe AJ and Lizzy were in the wrong place at the wrong…."

Hoss pointed suddenly, making Adam stop talking and turn towards the boat in deeper water. Ben was waving his sons over; the animation in his gesture conveying urgency.

Even with every bit of his strength put into rowing, it took time to reach the other boat, and Ben began shouting as soon as they were close enough to hear.

"It's the net. We've got something, and, well, we decided to wait for you two before pulling it in."

Hoss maneuvered the boat so he and Adam could hang onto the larger one. "What do you think it is?" Adam asked soberly.

Ben looked at his son, and then at the ropes leading downward to the net floating just below the surface. He waited for his son to look and then said to Seth, "Let's get it up."

It could have been any child's white bonnet entangled in the webbing, but it wasn't. He could see the embroidered embellishments that had been sewn on the brim by Elizabeth's grandmother, Margaret. The wet, variegated, pink floss flowers, and green vines sparkled with water drops in the morning sunlight, making Adam's heart dive so deep in his chest he could barely feel its beat. It seemed to take forever to disentangle the mass from the heavy hemp. The hat looked macabre and mocking as it sat atop the freed pile of brush and logs, but there was no child's body.

All four men released a breath as Ben handed Hoss the hat, pushed the flotsam into the bow, and then helped Seth lower the net again. He finally patted Adam's hand. "It's over son, you can let go now," he said softly, as he gently pried open the white-fisted grip Adam maintained on the edge of the boat. "Hoss is going to pull away so we can keep going."

"I think I done rowed at least 20 miles this morning," Hoss said as he rubbed his shoulder between bites of his sandwich.

Adam nodded weakly as he sipped the coffee he'd taken after refusing food. His stomach was in knots; his head ached from the bright glare of sun on the water he'd been staring at all morning, and although he thought he could handle nearly anything life threw at him, that child-sized clump of brush with Lizzy's hat had nearly undone him. He took another long drink of the hot brew Hop Sing had prepared after arriving in the chuck wagon, and grinned. "I don't think it was 20 miles, Hoss; maybe more like nineteen-and-a-half."

Joe brought his men down for lunch after finishing their first sweep of the foothill, and carried his plate over to sit with his family. "We got that entire lower section done this morning. Do you want us to keep going?"

Adam nodded. "The hill will get steeper now, but you can get a lot further today."

The group was still eating when a cloud of dust in the distance brought their attention to an approaching rider. A few minutes later, Roy Coffee pulled his horse to a stop. He accepted a plate with a sandwich, potato salad, and big slice of apple pie from Hop Sing; made his way over to the Cartwrights, and asked for a report on their efforts before he began eating.

He listened and asked questions until he was finished, and then said, "I got some news today." He addressed the entire family before concentrating on Adam. "A courier brought a letter from the county sheriff near Sacramento. After getting our telegram, he waited for Jeb and Gerry and took them in for questioning when the family got back Sunday."

"Will Sacramento hold them for you?" Ben asked.

"There ain't no agreement between California and Nevada for returning suspects. I can petition the governor once we charge them, and because this involves children, he might just agree to it." The sheriff took a drink of coffee. "But there's another problem. The report concerns me some. Sheriff Jones said those two are hooligans, but they've never done physical harm to no one. Them boys told him it was Jamie who wanted to torment yer youngsters because they were being such smart-alecks. They just played along."

"That's preposterous!" Ben shouted. "They shot Jamie for trying to help those children!"

"Yeah, about that…. They claim they was holding the gun on Jamie to protect themselves when he got mad about the kids being missin', and how'd he be in trouble because of it. The gun went off accidentally when Jamie tried to get it away."

Silence settled for a time until Hoss spoke. "The Starke boys ain't never been in no trouble, and they told the exact story as Jamie." He looked at his father. "I know which version I'd believe."

"Maybe so," Roy replied, "but based on that statement, I'd have to arrest Jamie and maybe even the Starke boys for whatever charges I'd bring on those two in California. We'd never get an order of extradition then."2

Adam stood and dumped his remaining coffee. "Those monsters know they can get away with this because it's just _their_ word against Jamie and the Starkes."

Roy nodded. "That's about it."

Adam stopped to reconsider all that he'd found so far in searching for his children, and the color began to rise in his cheeks. "How big are those…boys?" He asked Roy.

"I seen 'em in town while they was visiting. I'd guess they were about Joe's size, only sturdier built. I kept thinking they looked like big pups; you know…with paws so big you know they're not fully grown yet."

Adam asked further, "Where do the Starkes live?"

Ben pointed to the northwest. "It's easier to take the lake road around the foothill, but the Starke boys always come over the top."

Adam began pacing. "Jamie said the other boys went that way when they left. That means they'd have ridden past the shoreline we've been searching." The coffee he'd consumed began to feel like lye churning in his stomach, and he walked away from the group as it boiled up his esophagus.

Ben's face twisted into a puzzled grimace as he tried to figure out why Adam seemed so upset. "Don't worry, Adam," he called to him. "The truth will come out. People won't believe Jamie would act so horribly."

Adam's pained laugh seemed to echo to the trees and back. "Do you realize that not one of you even _thought_ about there being two witnesses who could set things straight? It seems those two boys know for sure what you all must already suspect!" He turned away as he bent forward to catch his breath.

The group looked at each other in stunned silence. Hoss shook off his stupor first. "I'll see to him," he said as he went to his brother and wrapped his big arms around Adam's shoulder protectively.

The others approached, but stopped a few paces away. Ben's, "My gut-reaction was only to defend Jamie against these lies, not to imply anything else," was met with a stern look from Hoss.

"It's more'n that, Pa. I'm pretty sure Adam is thinkin' them boys can say whatever they want because they _know_ that the kids they tormented won't be makin' no statements."

"Why makes you say that?" Joe asked, shaking his head.

"It's them missin' pieces Adam talked about. After Jeb and Gerry shot Jamie, they high-tailed it back this way to the Starke's shortcut. They must'a saw AJ and Lizzy walkin' along at the edge of the water. Them boys don't know nothin' about extradition or the law not being able to reach them in California, so they decided to get rid of the only ones who could tell the real story."

Ben's complexion turned as white as the clouds drifting by above them. "You think they…"

"They ended the threat." Adam's voice was thick with grief. "There wasn't time or means to get them dumped in the lake, but they could have made a detour from the path and tied them up in the woods where they wouldn't be found. I'd say they killed them, but cowards would tie them up somewhere to die so they could say they didn't murder them."

Roy walked away to compose himself at the thought of what had probably happened to Adam's children. He heard Ben's assurance to his son that this was only one possibility. But he also heard the wobble of doubt in his friend's voice, and figured Adam heard it too. He finally returned and cleared his throat. "I'm gonna pick up the train at Reno tomorrow morning for Sacramento. Why don't you come with me, Adam. We'll question those two and catch the night train back."

Adam looked to his middle brother. "Would you go, Hoss? Your size alone is intimidating, but you have a way of getting people to trust you. It might work better than me strangling them."

"I'd be glad to. I'll break 'em in half if I have to."

"Just find out where AJ and Lizzy are. We'll start looking on the route they took to the Starke's place, but it'll go faster if we know exactly where…." Adam stopped abruptly, turned, and walked away.

Roy stood silently, watching as Adam stopped at the lake and leaned forward onto a tree. He knew the man needed privacy, and spoke to draw attention away from the grieving father. "Come into town this evenin' Hoss; we'll get going at first light. I'm sorry I have to leave now, but Gil from the train office told a few people that there's some fancy train car arrivin' later today. They all think it's bringin' some royalty or dignitary, but no one in town has received word of any important visitors arriving."

Ben smiled wryly. "I'm betting it's Melinda. This seems soon for her to travel, but I knew she'd get here. I'm glad; Adam needs her," He looked towards the lake. "I'll go tell him."

 **Ten**

Adam smiled as his father told him about the stir in town. "Melinda must have convinced Ruth to make the arrangements. She couldn't have done this on her own."

"Maybe I should have been more honest in the telegrams," Ben said thoughtfully.

"That would have made her come sooner." He smiled sadly and sighed. "She'll be heartbroken that we haven't found AJ and Lizzy." His chin dropped to his chest. "I'm heading home now with Hoss, and then ride in with Hoss to meet the train. I'll tell Hop Sing to make up a room for Ruth. She'd never let Melinda come alone."

Father and son faced each other in silence, until Adam said, "It was my choice to make my life in Boston, and I knew that would mean we would be _guests_ when we came here." He hesitated. "What I never considered; was that the miles between Boston and Virginia City would remain, even when we _were_ here…until I heard you defending Jamie's honor in this affair, while forgetting that your own grandchildren were the victims."

Ben reached for his son, but Adam slipped his grasp and moved quickly to Hoss, who'd brought their horses closer.

Hoss looked over once they were away from the group. "Joe said he'll take the men to search the path the Starke kids used." His comment brought no response. "I'm glad Melinda's comin'. It'll be good fer both of you." Adam nodded but stared ahead.

Hoss didn't want to ride into this valley of trouble, but he finally spoke. "I heard what you said to Pa. Yer worried and hurt, and I can't know the pain in yer heart, but I think it'll look different when you have some time to think."

He blew out a long breath, before meeting Hoss's stare. "I might have been harsh, but that doesn't mean what I said wasn't true. I'm not blaming Pa for what happened; that burden is mine."

Old memories flooded Hoss's mind as he glanced over at his brother again. He knew Adam had taken the blame for everythings when they'd been growing up. Part of that was his innate responsibility as the oldest child, but their pa had always demanded a higher standard from Adam too. His earliest memory of this came from a time when he'd accidentally pushed a basket of bedding into the fireplace of their first cabin. He'd hidden while Adam had extinguished the flames, and when Pa had come in, he'd hollered at Adam, and had refused to listen to what had really happened. Pa had taken him along to check traps that day, and as he'd look back when they'd left, he'd seen Adam standing in the doorway. His brother's eyes had seemed lifeless.3

The truth about the fire had come out later that evening, yet Hoss knew that episode had left a mark on his brother's spirit, just like the fire had darkened the floor of their home. Adam had taken on the liability for everything after that. And he had witnessed Adam's early stoicism refine into a pure granite will as he'd grown up. It wasn't that Adam had become cold, uncaring or unwilling to have fun. He'd just become rigid about his responsibility, and never let anyone see how much things really bothered him.

Melinda had broken down some of that wall of will, and Hoss had seen first-hand how becoming a father had helped Adam find his own childlike wonder. But this situation was patching the cracks others had made in that barrier of his, and Hoss feared it would become stronger than ever. The big man's cheeks pinked as he considered whether they _had_ become so protective of their newest family member that they'd forgotten—even if momentarily—that AJ and Lizzy were the ones who'd been lost. This tore at his soul.

He would have told Adam how sorry he was, but he'd slowed his pace during his thoughts and had fallen far behind. It was fine; Adam was too upset to listen anyway. "C'mon, Chub," he urged. "We can't catch him, but we don't wanna let him get home and gone again before we make it there."

Adam saw Jamie sitting on the steps of the Pullman when he and Hoss got to the rail yard. The boy's arm was in a sling and his face was so pale as to indicate he was feeling poorly.

"What's the matter?" Adam asked. "Does your arm hurt more?"

Jamie lifted his arm but didn't look up. "This is doing all right, I guess. Doc Martin kept me in town cuz it was getting red and weepy. I stayed at his office all day to take messages for him. I don't _look_ so good cuz I just told Mrs. Cartwright what happened to your kids. Doc and that lady she came with are in there with her." He finally made eye contact. "You two don't look so good either, so I guess you haven't found AJ and Lizzy?"

Adam stepped around the boy, and pulled him up by his good arm. "You might as well come inside and hear the update. Thanks for being honest with Melinda. I know she appreciated that."

Paul was taking Melinda's pulse, when Adam walked in. She pulled her arm away and stood, swaying with the sudden position change, and then walked to him. "Please have good news," she whispered in his ear as they embraced.

Adam took her back to the chair; welcomed Ruth with a kiss to the cheek, and a re-introduced Hoss to her. "How'd the patient fare on the trip? He asked Paul.

"She's fine. I rented that open carriage from the livery to get her home. Jamie went over earlier and added some padding and pillows to combat the bumps and potholes."

"I suspected the telegram for Paul that arrived after the one for Pa, was from you." Adam said as he eyed Ruth. He smiled and turned towards his wife. "I wasn't happy about your plan, but I knew you were in good hands with Ruth and Paul." He kissed her cheek. "And I'm glad you're here."

Paul touched Adam's shoulder. "I'm sorry I haven't stopped by during the search. I've been out at Abigail and Hank's place. Her children have been ill for days. They both have a high fever and rash, and seem nearly comatose with the effects of what's happening. I've been able to help Abigail keep the fever from getting too high, but it has been a wait-it-out sort of malady." He saw Adam look protectively at Melinda. "You don't need to worry. It isn't contagious…at least not to adults. No one except the children came down with it. I thought perhaps Jamie was getting it when he came in yesterday. He'd been around Abigail's youngsters at your ranch the day before they took ill." He gave the boy a wilting look. "But it was just that his wound was inflamed and nearing infection and he wasn't taking care of himself. That makes me wonder if Abigail's two were bitten by an insect that carried a toxin."

Adam expressed his concern for the Myer's children, and then asked everyone to sit. "Would you mind telling what's happened over the last day, Hoss?" He held Melinda tightly while Hoss shared the details of the search and his plans for Sacramento.

Silence settled over the room as he finished, and everyone turned toward Adam and Melinda, awaiting their reaction. The silence lingered as Melinda buried her head in Adam's shoulder.

Taking a deep breath, Melinda regained her composure. "If I understand correctly, you think that the children are…gone…because these animals in California don't seem worried about their lies being challenged."

Hoss nodded. "That's the sad possibility, yet we ain't givin' up yet." The anguish showing on the faces of the two parents was so obvious that Hoss stood and took Ruth's arm, leading her toward the door. Paul and Jamie followed.

When they were alone, Melinda turned to Adam. "Do _you_ think they're dead?"

"We followed every plausible scenario and didn't find a trace of them. So this theory fits the best." He sighed deeply. "I feel them when I stand by the lake, but I don't know what that means." He rested his forehead against his fist and sighed again. "I kept saying that something was missing. The unfortunate fact is that if those boys feel free to lie without fear of certifiable contradiction; then that completes the puzzle."

"It's only three days now. Hoss said those boys probably abandoned the kids rather than killed them. They could survive three days! You can still find them before…."

Adam's tone was cautious. "That's why Hoss and Roy are going to question them. And we'll keep searching while they do that."

His tortured look made Melinda ask, "Something else is bothering you. Tell me."

"It honestly feels like God reached down and plucked those two from the face of the earth, leaving behind just enough evidence and misdirection to throw me into never-ending confusion. God forgive me, but I think he's created some penitential quest I have to complete before the answer is given. It crushes me to think my children are paying for my sins and shortcomings, and my misery and complicity in creating their pain is making me strike out at others I love."

She touched his face, making him look at her. "This is not your fault, Adam. You are a faithful and good man, and _none_ of this is on your shoulders. This torture was initiated by man, not God, and it will be solved by your hard work with his guidance. Consider this a test of trust; not a decree of punishment."

He smiled wanly and took her hand. "I'm glad you're here, my love. I'm a mess without you." He leaned forward to kiss her and then asked more about her condition. "You can tell me more about how you and Ruth planned your escape when this is over," he said after her brief description of her hospital stay. "If you're ready to go, I'll ride in the carriage until we get to the intersection that leads to the lake."

The rented carriage gave a smooth ride, and the trip to the Ponderosa was causing no ill effects on the patient. Hoss and Paul had stayed behind in town: Hoss to leave with Roy in the morning, while Paul had said Melinda would do fine with Ruth as her caregiver, and he promised to stop out the next day.

Ruth had insisted on sitting with Jamie to provide some company and lend a hand with the reins if the boy's arm tired while driving the team, while giving the Cartwrights time to talk privately before Adam left to join the search party.

Melinda raised her face to the warm, late-afternoon sunshine. "I know my being here doesn't change the situation, but I couldn't have stayed in that stuffy hospital another day." She gave Adam a lopsided grin. "Sometimes I think such places keep people sick instead of getting them well."

"You may be right about that," he said with a soft snort. "They keep you in bed so long you begin to grow roots into the springs. Maybe it would be better to get people up and moving as soon as possible. It seems to have done you a world of good." His arm tightened around her as he pulled her closer and kissed her cheek. "I don't want you overdoing it. Rest as much as possible; let Ruth help you, and eat what Hop Sing prepares so you get strong again. I see how you sway every time you stand."

She nodded. "I will. But I'm betting you're not taking care of yourself. You've lost weight in the few days we've been apart. I see it in your cheeks. And although you've been outside, you look as pale as I do. You haven't eaten or slept since getting here…have you."

"I'm afriad that if I close my eyes, I'll miss the one clue I need."

She angled herself to see him better, cupping his face in her hands. "Have you considered that if you don't allow your mind to rest, you might miss that clue because you're too fatigued? Or maybe the clue will present itself as you sleep? You've solved construction conundrums as you've rested and shut out other distractions."

"I'll rest tonight."

"Will you come home?" She asked hopefully.

"I won't be back until I have an answer. But I promise to take better care of myself."

Melinda's face crinkled in thought. "Something Paul said is troubling me." She sat back and grabbed Adam's hand. "He wasn't able to help because he was tending Abigail's children. Our children were with the Myer's children before they got sick…"

"Do you think they were getting ill when this all happened?"

"It's a possibility. Yet I don't know how that fits into anything." She saw the tortured look return to her husband's face as he tried to assimilate this new wrinkle. It could be another clue, but she realized it mostly heaped more uncertainty on top a mountain of the stuff. What she wanted more than anything now was a few more moments of peace before Adam went his way, so she thought of something to take their minds away. "Did you notice how Hoss acted around Ruth?"

He shook his head to clear his thoughts, and chuckled. "It was pretty hard not to. The human heart is an amazing thing. Hoss is embroiled in a horrid set of circumstances, yet there is still room to appreciate a beautiful woman he admires."

Melinda squeezed Adam's hand and lowered her voice. "Poor Hoss was blushing, and practically tripped over his own feet to make sure he could help Ruth onto the carriage." She stopped to squint. "You said he _admires_ her. Does he know her better that I thought?"

"Hoss and Joe went on that quest to prove that Ruth existed…or didn't…after they found me half dead with fever on that mountain. Hoss dug like a dog after a bone, and found out a lot about Ruth. He's the one who said she'd left willingly because she had to figure out who she was on her own terms. Hoss felt a kinship with Ruth because he'd often felt out of place trying new things. That was the first time I realized how much he struggled with situations that came easy to the rest of us. He understood her so well that I knew Ruth had met the wrong brother on that mountain."

She leaned over to kiss his cheek. "They are a good match. Perhaps they'll figure that out if given time."

 **Eleven**

Hoss paused with his hand on the latch of the front door and rested his head against the cool metal knocker. He'd gotten back mid-day, and had already stopped to give his report to Adam. The news he brought wasn't a surprise; he'd sent a short telegram immediately after speaking with Jeb and Gerry that said it all— _No new information(Stop)_. He'd provided the details of the discussions now, and Adam had asked that he ride to the house and tell Melinda about it.

It was Thursday evening, and now AJ and Lizzy had been missing nearly a week. Children could survive days when there was water available and at least a little to eat, but the old adage that no news was good news, had never been more wrong.

He stretched as he stood tall, and walked in. Ruth and Melinda were at the dining table surrounded by small stacks of paper.

"Don't look so somber, Hoss," Melinda offered with a warm smile. "I saw the telegram." She asked Hop Sing to bring coffee and food for Hoss, before she and Ruth joined him in front of the hearth.

"It's good to see you again." Ruth smiled shyly. "You must be tired. That was a lot of traveling in two days."

"Yes'm," Hoss replied as he took a cup from the tray Hop Sing brought in. "I just wish I had better news."

"Tell us about it." Melinda sounded calm, but she had to fold her hands in her lap to keep them from shaking.

"Roy and I talked to the county sheriff first. He told us them boys have a hard life. They only got a little schoolin' and then were kept home to work. Things got bad after their ma died, and worse when the father remarried.

Ruth's voice was timid. "Are you saying you felt sorry for them?"

"I feel bad for any kids who ain't got decent parents. And maybe them who get pushed around at home do the same thing to others. It's like they's fightin' back—but against the wrong people. Then again, them two made a decision to hurt someone, and that ain't never right."

Melinda nodded. "I've seen the same thing, Hoss. Bullies were usually bullied by someone else first. It seems you had a good understanding of what you were up against, so how did you approach them?"

"Roy and me decided that we'd have to stay calm and ask questions rather than make accusations. Them boys haven't had much experience with decent folk, and we figured they'd throw up a wall if we acted like the other adults in their life. Roy did the talkin' and I watched their reactions for the truth of their words." Hoss stopped; looked down at his feet and moved his head from side to side. "I'll tell you this fer sure; they didn't know what Roy was talkin' about when he asked where they'd taken AJ and Elizabeth after finding them tryin' to hide. They kept saying how AJ had called them stupid and acted so high and mighty that they took 'em to the lake to teach a lesson, but that was all they did. Two things happened then. Roy told them that he knew they were lyin' about Jamie and the Starkes being willingly involved, and they admitted it."

"What was the second thing?" Ruth asked.

"Roy told them that he understood that things had gotten out of hand, and that they'd panicked when they saw the little ones afterwards, and he could see as how they must'a felt they had to get rid of them. He said all we wanted to know was where the kids was so the parents could bury them proper." Hoss looked at the two women, his face in a mournful grimace. "Hearin' Roy say that nearly did me in; and it had the same effect on them boys. The one started cryin' and the other got so white he looked ready to pass out." He stopped for a deep breath. "They said they saw the boat overturned; figgered AJ and Lizzy had fallen out and drowned, and left right then to get a head start for California before anyone found out the kids were dead or that Jamie got shot."

Melinda paled as she asked, "Did you believe that?"

Hoss nodded. "They's bullies, and they did a horrible thing to AJ and Lizzy, but they ain't murderers just yet. Roy's fatherly questionin' even got them to admit that they'd gone too far. They hadn't meant for the kids to drown, and it scared 'em that things got so out of control."

"What did they think would happen when they tied two young children in a boat?" Ruth asked as he mouth hung open in disbelief.

"They figured they'd sit still until they came back." Hoss held back the part where they'd said that it was Lizzy's fault for getting so upset about a couple of worms.

"What will Adam do now?" Melinda asked with a shaky sigh. "His hope was tied to answers that aren't coming."

"Adam told me how you said maybe AJ and Lizzy were getting sick since they was with Abigail's now we'll extend the search in case AJ was too sick to know where he was goin'."

"Did Adam say when he'd be coming home?

He shook his head. "I know he's real sorry for not bein' with you, but you know how he is." Hoss saw the brief, knowing smile cross Melinda's face as he walked to the stairs.

"Thank you for your honesty, Hoss," Melinda said softly. "Where are you headed now?"

"I'm gonna change and go out to the herd in the near pasture. One of the men was in the yard when I got here, and said a couple of them new steers I raised are sick lookin', and they'd like me to check on 'em. I got a pretty good idea they got at some locoweed that's comin' out with the rain we had. But then I'll go to the lake."

The living area was empty when Hoss came down, making him wonder where the two women had gone. He made a detour through the kitchen to ask Hop Sing to get a meal out to the search group toward evening, and found him already making preparations.

He stopped short when he exited the back door and saw Ruth with her head resting on her arms atop one of the corral posts. She was silent, but the way her shoulders were moving indicated she was crying. Lending a hand when his brothers were hurting came second nature, but he'd never been comfortable around women displaying emotions. He put his fears aside, moving up behind her, and gently turned her towards him. "It takes a special kind of person to feel the pain of others," he said quietly.

She nodded against his chest and then looked up at him with a teary smile. "What you just said, Hoss; I think it's true of you too. I can see how much you feel Adam and Melinda's pain, and how much you love those children." A few more tears tumbled down her cheeks. "I've never met them, and yet my heart is breaking."

"I know." Hoss nodded toward the house. "How's Melinda doin'? I didn't see her inside."

"She asked to be alone, and went to her room. She's a very stoic woman, but I have no doubt she's crying her soul out in tears and prayers."

Hoss loosened his hold but didn't let her go. He knew it wasn't the time for such feelings to distract him, yet it felt so natural with her in his arms. "It sure was nice of you to come with Melinda. She seems to be gettin' better real fast."

"She wanted to be here, and she fought hard to get strong enough to do that." She gave Hoss a small smile. "I'll have to sit on her soon if I want her to rest."

"I 'spect yer right about that, ma'am." He breathed in the scent of her hair, and finally took a step away. "What're you two doin' with all them papers on the table?"

'Melinda wanted to keep her mind off what she can't do anything about, so we started working on my book. She rests when she's tired, but concentrating on something else does help pass the time."

Hoss reached for Ruth's hand. "I wish things was different and I could show you around some."

"Dr. Martin's taking Melinda's stitches out tomorrow, and we'll come out to the lake as soon after that as we can." She continued holding Hoss's hand. There was strength and surety in his grip, and she was growing tired of being strong on her own. "It's hard to believe that Melinda was shot, and the children went missing nearly a week ago." She didn't need to say more. They all had mental clocks ticking off the minutes, reducing the likelihood that AJ and Elizabeth would be found alive.

 **Twelve**

"Everything looks fine, Melinda." The opinion came from Paul Martin after he removed the last stitch from his patient. He noted the expectant look reflecting back at him, and added, "I'd still rest another day to let that incision settle down after being prodded and poked. Then hold a pillow to your stomach for a little extra support when your wagon hits holes in the road. But—," and he gave her a wink and a brief chuckle—, "you should hold together fine."

Paul waited until Melinda looked at Ruth to glance at something he'd noticed when he'd first examined her in the train. What he saw was enough to confirm his suspicion. "Did they do a full exam when you were in the hospital?" he asked as he casually pressed along her abdomen, just below her navel.

Melinda shrugged. "I don't remember anything at first, but we left there pretty fast and they were mostly concerned about the surgical area. Why do you ask?" A worried look hooded her eyes.

Paul figured that with all that was going on, this was not the time to introduce another worry. "I'll do a better exam before you head for home just to make sure you're good for the trip. You can get dressed now. Do a little more each day until you feel like yourself again."

Ruth laid Melinda's dress on the bed. "I'll walk Dr. Martin to the door while you get ready."

When the two of them were far enough from the house that they wouldn't be overheard, Paul said, "The hospital reported a sizeable blood loss. Tell me more about that."

Ruth quickly explained the sequence of events and the information the doctor had shared, and then asked, "Is there something bothering you?"

"Did they give her ether for the surgery or strong pain medications afterwards?"

"The surgeon said they'd used 'just enough' ether to keep her still, since she was already unconscious. She slept afterwards, and Melinda said she wasn't in much pain once she was awake. She refused anything after she heard about the children, saying she needed to stay clear-headed." She examined Paul's face for tells. "You didn't answer me. Is something else wrong with Melinda?"

Paul forced a smile. "I wanted to be sure of her treatment in San Francisco…you know…" he stuttered, "to make sure that the hospital hadn't forgotten to note anything. But you've confirmed the accuracy."

Melinda was already by the table when Ruth came back inside. She looked up and smiled. "Since I have to stay home another day, we might as well get as far as we can with these edits. We've gone over all the points on the first section of the book, and I'll make the grammar changes later. Let's move on to the attack on the Bannock."

Ruth hurried to the chair next to her editor. "Are you sure you're up to this? We've been working nonstop. You should take a little time for yourself."

"If I…take time…" She hesitated while fighting to maintain control. "I won't be able to stop the avalanche of emotions in my heart. That will serve no purpose. I've prayed and will keep doing that, but right now I need you to help me keep my mind busy." Melinda grasped Ruth's hand and said, "Thank you for everything you've done so far. I would be a wreck if I you weren't here."

"It has been my pleasure to help, although I wish the circumstances were different," Ruth replied. "So…what's next?"

"You say men…white hunters, came on the Bannock party you were with at daybreak, demanding the pelts you and your people had prepared. When the Bannock refused, these men shot the braves before they could get to their weapons, and then either shot or stabbed the women and children as they tried to help their men? Did you know at first why didn't they kill you?"

Ruth's smile turned to a deep frown accompanied by a sad laugh. "They would have had to have been blind if they couldn't tell I _wasn't_ a Bannock. All but two of those hunters left once they had our meat and pelts, but two of them stayed behind, claiming me as their spoils. They seemed very proud of themselves for 'rescuing' me from the heathens. But then they said there was a price to pay for their help, and they meant to collect." Her eyes welled with tears. "I was surrounded by the dead bodies of my people and they were acting like I should be happy about it."

"I assume their desired method of payment was…physical," Melinda said bluntly as she took Ruth's hand again.

Tears began rolling down her cheeks as she whispered, "I've never told anyone the whole truth."

"I read your carefully chosen words about what they did to you, and suspected there was more to it."

"Does…Adam…suspect?"

"He knew you'd killed them in self-defense, but he didn't understand how much more you were defending." She hesitating before asking, "Would you _like_ to talk about it?"

Ruth remained looking down, and shook her head slowly. "I've kept this to myself for so long, it seems almost impossible to put into words. One day I will tell you everything, because I trust you. For now we'll leave it at self-defense, because it really was. I heard those men talking about how they'd either kill me or take me along to be their woman…if I was any good. I don't know what they expected from me." She raised her head and smiled sheepishly. "But I don't think it was that I'd be skilled with a knife." After a pause, she added, "I couldn't go to the Bannock because they'd have wondered why I was still alive when the rest of those I'd been with were dead, so I ran, and hid on that mountain." Her sigh was long, ending with a groan. "Please don't tell Adam what you suspect. I came closest to telling him what really happened, but I have always thought that what befell me that day was my fault. As much as I had come to trust him, I still shrank from his touch when I wasn't expecting it."

"I assume you haven't married because those memories are still too strong?"

A nod. "I have tried to forget, but I still freeze when men become even mildly affectionate. They've accused me of being cold, selfish, and a tease. I finally gave up." A last tear ran down Ruth's cheek. "Sometimes I wish those men had killed me instead of leaving this invisible scar." She sat up abruptly as she remembered something. "Except…"

"Except what?"

"I was by the corral yesterday, so deep in thought about what we'd just heard about those boys in Sacramento, that I didn't hear Hoss coming. I wasn't expecting it when he pulled me into a hug, but I didn't tense up or pull away from him. I've never met a person who made me feel completely safe and comfortable like he does." She smiled sadly. "Yet it's not the time to be considering such things."

Melinda smiled. "I know these are the worst of circumstances, but that doesn't mean you should deny what you're feeling. Hoss needs someone like you as much as you need him. I've seen his face when he looks at you. He is smitten."

 **Thirteen**

She pulled her shall tighter across her shoulders and smiled at Ruth. They were sharing the back bench of the surrey on their way to the lake. It was a beautiful, warm Sunday morning, but Melinda felt chilled to the bone. She'd followed every order her doctors had given her, and wouldn't wait any longer to venture out. The sun shown on her face, and the air moving around her wasn't chilly, yet she wrapped up even tighter as fear gnawed at her soul, whispering that her visit to the lake might end with joining Adam in saying goodbye. Their children had disappeared eight days ago, and it was time to face the facts gleaned from the searches…and make some decisions.

Despite her fear, she felt butterflies in her stomach at the thought of seeing Adam. She'd felt the first such flutter when she'd visited the Stoddard house with her aunt over 20-years ago, and met Abel's handsome young grandson…and then watched as he'd tumbled off a ladder and gotten badly hurt. The same feeling of excitement still reappeared every time she'd see him after being apart. She'd wondered at first if he experienced a similar feeling about her, but she'd soon realized that each time Adam had held her, whether apart a few hours or a few days, he'd sighed into a soft moan as he'd pull her close. That part of his greeting had never stopped.

Ruth took Melinda's hand, and released it after a tight squeeze. There'd been small talk at the beginning of the ride, but they'd silenced, each letting their thoughts drift in preparation. Melinda had sent a note with Hop Sing the night before, alerting Adam to their planned visit. Then she'd convinced Orville, an older ranch hand who kept up the yard and buildings, to drive them out this morning.

Orville pulled the wagon to a stop as they entered the valley created by the tree-covered slopes to the left and right, and turned back towards his passengers. "Straight ahead there is where it all started, Mrs. Cartwright. I heard that the men are searchin' quite a ways from there now, but I'll drop you off by the lake and take the wagon out to look for them. I'd let you ride along, but that road is purdy rough.

He helped the ladies out when he'd gotten to the lake, and was returning to the driver's seat when he said, "There's a rider comin' already," and pointed towards the woods. Hop Sing sent sweets for the men, so I'll take those on down and be back in an hour or two."

Melinda pulled her dress into place as she looked where Orville had pointed. She groaned quietly as the slightly snug bodice finally aligned with the front of the skirt, and muttered, "Between all the eating I've done on this vacation, and the orders to eat more to recover, I've gained weight."

She shielded her eyes to see better. "Looks like two riders Ruth. I recognize Adam's build, and by the tall hat on the other, it's Hoss. It'll be a bit before they get here, so I'm going to look around." Her head spun as she turned towards the lake and saw "the boat" off to the side. She took a deep breath; let the wooziness pass, and walked to it, reaching down to feel the rough shell. When she looked back up at the vast lake, she whispered, "Are you in there, my loves?" The tears she'd held back for so long began to roll down her cheeks as she walked to the shore. Her silent tears turned to sobs when she looked down and saw the boot, hair ribbon, bonnet, and apron sitting in a small pan near her feet. She carried the container back to the overturned boat and sat, turning each item in her hand before holding it to her cheek.

Ruth didn't want to intrude, but saw the tears. She sat next to her friend. "Are they Lizzy's?"

Melinda nodded. She began to tremble. "I thought I might feel _her_ when I held these: like how her breath felt against my cheek before she'd kiss me, or how warm she'd feel when I hugged her after she'd been playing outside. I _remember_ her excitement the day my mother gave her this pretty hat, and I can see her twirling around in the apron to show Adam how it 'flied'. But all I _feel_ is loss." She looked deeply at Ruth. "You've heard the same reports I have. Do you think this is all I've left of them?"

"The memories of your children are a blessing, Melinda. You know how happy Lizzy was at those moments, and you have similar memories of AJ. The sadness you're feeling comes from the unknown, so let's wait for Adam and Hoss before getting too far down that dark road."

"I'd wondered why these searches have gone on so long." The grieving mother moved her arm in a sweeping gesture. "I didn't understand until now that I see the size of this area. It is beautiful…and endless.

Ruth's quick glance over her shoulder confirmed that Adam and Hoss were getting close. "Where's your hanky?" She took it from Melinda and used it to dry her friend's tears. "Those two must be feeling just as sad. Let's give them a happy welcome."

The tears were dried and the women were smiling by the time the two men dismounted and left their horses to nibble on the only grass that hadn't been eaten or trampled during the week of the search.

Adam ran to his wife, holding her gently to kiss her.

Melinda smiled as she heard a small moan when he tightened the embrace. She brushed the dust from his bearded cheeks and lips, and chuckled. "You need a bath mister." She used her damp hanky to remove the grit Adam had transferred to her lips with his greeting. "Is this what it's like kissing a cowboy?"

"I don't know." He winked. "I've never kissed a cowboy." He dropped his hands to her waist and gave her a once over exam. "You look good. There's even color in your cheeks."

"My pink cheeks were produced yesterday. We've been editing Ruth's book—mostly to keep me from grabbing a horse and riding out here—and we worked at the outside table.

"I'm thankful…and pleased that you followed everyone's advice to rest and recover." He nodded at the items on the boat. "I see you found those."

She took his hand and led him over to sit. "Now that I can see where it happened, I'd like you to walk me through everything from the beginning. I couldn't picture it before."

Hoss called, "I'm gonna show Ruth around," over his shoulder as the couple walked away.

Melinda smiled. "She likes him very much. What's even better is that she trusts him."

Adam nodded. "Hoss talked non-stop about her since he's been back. He kept apologizing for it, so I finally told him that seeing him excited and happy helped me too."

It took a while to cover the sequence of events for Melinda. He walked her along the shore to show her where they'd found the footprints, and the area where they'd originally thought the children had exited. He took her back to the boat as she began to puff with effort at the distance of their exploration. "Hoss's news from Sacramento has pretty much put an end to every theory we'd had."

"But you're still looking."

"No one wants to give up." His sigh was long and loud. "But we've ridden every area several times and have found nothing."

"It seems all you've found is what _isn't_ there."

He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her tight against him. "That's about right." He pointed to the horizon with his free arm. "It would seem impossible to distinguish one thing from the next out there, but it isn't hard, especially here. These tress are nearest to the house, and therefore nearest the roads leading to Virginia City and Carson. It made sense for Pa to harvest this timber first."

"It looks untouched!"

"That's because we never clear-cut, and we replace what we take with young trees. There's good reasoning to that. Without active roots in place, the hillsides would have eroded and become barren. We harvested this area over twenty years ago, and nothing has disturbed these hills since then. Fallen pine needles have covered the ground like a carpet that would have been roughed up if AJ and Lizzy had walked through."

"Don't people come through here?" she asked. "Maybe someone saw something."

"We put this road in when we started logging as a way to get timber out by wagon. It stops at the far end at a narrow pass through the Sierras that's too narrow for any more than a person with a horse. Hunters and trappers use that passage on occasion. There are few narrow lanes going off the road between here and the pass, leading to small farms like the Starke's, but they're only used for lake access." Melinda nodded as she gazed out at the distance. "There's something else, you don't realize out here," he added. "The perspective is off in these wide-open spaces. It seems like these hills end a short distance from here, but they actually go on for miles. We would have caught up to AJ and Lizzy, even if they had gone the wrong direction. We've done an organized search, so even if we missed clues, someone should have found _them_ somewhere." He sighed heavily.

"So who made those prints in the lake?"

"Maybe a family that stopped for a picnic and fishing. That muck on the edge of the lake could have stayed undisturbed for some time."

Her voice dropped to a whisper. "So is it over then? Do we mourn now rather than search?"

"I'm sending the men back tonight. I'll still go over each idea, and look again. But…"

"But," she interrupted, knowing the difficulty he was having, "there is no evidence that our children made it out of the lake. How soon might we know that for sure?"

"Hard to say; they might never be found. Tahoe does not easily give up its dead." Adam laid his head atop Melinda's as their tears flowed silently.

When he could control his emotions again, he lifted her chin. "I've faced so much death in my life, but this…."

Melinda nodded, before releasing a hiccupping sob. The tears ended in silence as she stood, took Adam's hand and walked toward the lake. They remained hand-in-hand, contemplating their loss. "I'm not ready to say goodbye just yet," she finally told him. "We'll wait until you finish your final search or see if their…." She swallowed hard as she imagined what she was trying to say, and Adam held her tighter. She mouthed a silent "o". "We have to let Abel and my parents know."

"I didn't want them to worry, but I knew Abel would be angrier if I didn't tell him what was happening. I sent a telegram right away, and Jamie wired an update yesterday. I asked Abel to contact your parents. Margaret won't like that I didn't tell them directly, but I'm not sure where they are. She'd mentioned visiting your sister."

"Thank you. I wouldn't have known what to say." Silence resumed as they continued staring at the lake's horizon.

"I wish I was stronger, Adam!" Melinda cried unexpectedly, falling to her knees as a keening wail forced its way from her broken heart. "People are going to say this was God's will," she said between breathless sobs. "But it wasn't. It was the will of two angry teenagers who couldn't handle a little girl catching more fish or an intelligent little boy. How could they hurt them for such petty reasons! If they died here, Lizzy left this world screaming in fear while AJ tried his best to help." She clung to Adam as he sunk down next to her. "How do we leave this place and go on with that as our last memory of them?"

He drew her near, kissing her hair and wiping her tears away with his thumbs. "You're feeling the sharpest point of your pain now that you're where this took place. Seeing the lake; the boat and Lizzy's things, hits like an axe in full swing, cutting you off at the knees. I promise we'll get through this…together, one step at a time."

She nodded, unable to speak as the vision of her children in _that_ boat continued to beat at her mind, making her want to both cling to it and burn it to ashes.

Adam pulled her up and relocated to a grassy spot near a tree where he could lean back as he held her. He caressed her hair as he rocked her, knowing full-well the demons that were whispering in her heart. They were surely telling her to curse the Almighty for taking away what she loved most, and to abandon faith in His goodness. There were no words of consolation he could speak to penetrate the darkness she felt. He knew this because it was what he'd been feeling for seven days. There were moments of peace and heavenly connections, but most of his time had been spent shouting at God for this latest assault on his soul. "How?" had become his mantra. How could a good and gracious God allow those thugs to hurt his innocent children? How could he look down with the ability to save them, and refuse to be moved?

The answer had settled when he'd seen Melinda begin to struggle with the same questions. It was because he _was_ God, and his purpose was not yet known. Would this change the lives of the two boys who had set his children's death in motion? Would it deepen his faith and perhaps set him on a path to help children who were like those boys, before it was too late to change? It was too much to ponder, so he hummed a lullaby he'd always sung to his children, and clung to Melinda so tightly that they appeared to be one person instead of two.

When her crying eased, he lifted her chin. "I know this won't make a great deal of sense just yet, but it came to me while I've been struggling. Thomas Aquinas wrote to a friend experiencing a loss, saying that tears are the blood that flows from a heart pierced by loss. In time we'll understand that our children's love is eternal. It abides in a treasury, hidden with God, and it will always be there for us."5

The couple had lost track of where Hoss and Ruth had gone as they'd grieved, but Adam saw his brother running towards them when he glanced up.

Hoss was pointing in the distance as he made it to them. "Joe's bringin' the men here, Adam, and if ya look the other direction, I think Pa's riding in with the men from the herd."

"What's going on?" Adam rose, helping Melinda up.

"I don't know, but I thought you might want to, uh, get ready before they get here."

Ruth had gone to the lake to wet her handkerchief, offering it to Melinda. "This will take some of the redness away from your face."

By the time the two groups arrived, Melinda and Adam managed to stow their grief and walk over to greet them.

To his son's questioning look, Ben grasped Adam's shoulder and said, "Hop Sing sent word that Melinda was coming out here today. We were close by, so I had Al ride over to let Joe that we'd all meet here with you."

Adam's face puckered like a dry apple. "I still don't understand."

"It's Sunday. One of our hands spent a year in divinity school and always holds a short service for us when we're all together. The men suggested we do it here to show their support." He motioned one of the hands over. "This is Fleet, but on Sundays, we call him, Reverend."

Adam and Melinda shook Fleet's hand and thanked him for his idea, and then motioned the rest of the group to join them.

Ben moved the couple aside while the hands got themselves settled for the service. "Hoss told me you're going to let your riders go and search alone."

Adam nodded. "I know the ranch work is lagging and I don't want you to fall too far behind."

"I appreciate that, but there are more important things than the herd. You'll have help for as long as you need it." He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "And if it comes down to the one possibility; I know a captain who runs a salvage ship out of the San Francisco harbor. He uses a diving apparatus to send men underwater to recover the goods from vessels that have sunk in the shallows near the bay. He can't reach the limits of Tahoe, but his men could check the drop-offs."

"Thanks, Pa." Adam's emotions felt raw again, and he couldn't speak further. He looked toward Melinda who smiled understandingly.

She indicated the waiting group. "It looks like they're ready to start. This was a wonderful idea. Thank you, Ben."

Melinda looked around at the Ponderosa hands as they prayed and realized that the faith among these men was as rugged and sincere as they were. They were all focused on the words the Revered was saying about the goodness of God, and how he was a sure and strong anchor during the worst times. These words bounced from her heart without penetrating. Her faith was strong; she was just too overcome with sadness to accept words of promise right now.

The message ended with a recitation of the 8th Psalm, praising God for his mighty creation. This was something Melinda could accept despite the circumstances. She looked around in awe, praising the creator who had made the beautiful mirror-like lake that reflected the passing clouds and the shadows of the trees high above. As she turned to see the green hillsides, she saw something that startled her. She nudged Adam and whispered. "I thought you said no one comes from that direction." She nodded toward the west. "It looks like a man with a couple of horses."

He took a quick look, and leaned closer so as not to disturb those around them. "He must have come through the pass with just his horses."

She turned her attention back to the group, and smiled at Ruth, receiving a similar gesture from her friend.

Adam leaned over again. "I've never attended a service I've appreciated more than this."

"It is moving," Melinda replied as Fleet motioned for everyone to rise.

"Let us remember the one who saved us all by giving his life for our sins. We are together today by his plan, because nothing happens by accident. We trust that Adam Junior and his sister, Elizabeth, are under your protection and safe in your love. Please give us peace and surety as we continue to search, and the strength to face whatever the outcome."

Melinda glanced back, unwilling yet to imagine her children in God's kingdom. She noted that the passing traveler had disappeared from view, and sighed quietly. She jumped as Fleet ended his closing prayer, and a booming voice rang out from behind them.

"I hate to disturb this lovely gatherin', but I need to know if this land is still owned by Ben Cartwright."

Ben stood and walked over to the stranger. "I'm Ben Cartwright…" He stopped to examine the bearded man in buckskin, and broke into a smile. "John? Is it really you?"

The two men pumped hands as the one named John, said, "I'd have recognized you anywhere, Ben."

The trail hands had moved away with the completed service, and the rest of the Cartwrights assembled by the two old friends.

"I certainly want to know what you've been doing all these years, but you've come at an unfortunate time. We're in the middle of a family emergency."

"I heard the prayer for AJ and LIzzy, and…." he started to laugh.

Adam's face dove into a frown. "I fail to see what's so funny about the prayers for…." He stopped. "How do you know they go by those nicknames?"

"What's funny, is that sometimes prayers are answered instantly." Everyone stared at him with open mouths. "If you look under that blanket on the travois behind my pack horse, you might understand better."

Adam and Melinda stood where they were, unsure of what to do. But then they saw two arms stick out from the top of the blanket and open in a stretch, while the voice of their son's muffled voice floated to their ears. "Stop kickin' me, Lizzy. I'm trying to sleep."

The couple walked over quietly to hear their daughter's response from under the cover. "We're stopped, AJ, and I have to go potty."

The reunion between parents and children dissolved into laughter and tears of joy. When their children went to see their uncles and grandpa, Adam pulled Melinda aside and kissed her before wrapping her in a bear hug. "I don't think I will ever be happier or more grateful than I am at this moment. I can't wait to hear the story of how these three got together, but right now, I just want to be happy." They returned to the group, grabbed their children again and began to figure out how to best head for home.

"Can't we stay put and hear this story first?" Ben asked.

"I think it's best we get those two home." John nodded towards Adam's children who suddenly looked played out and wobbly from the excitement. They've been very ill, and they'll get better faster in a good bed, with some good food, and their parents nearby." He grabbed Ben's shoulder and laughed. "Let's get to that lean-to I helped you build all those years ago; then we'll talk."

Adam and Melinda had ridden with their children and Ruth in the surrey, while the rest had gotten to the house on horseback. AJ and Lizzy had drifted to sleep on their parents' laps with a tangle of arms and legs keeping them all together in the small vehicle.

Once home, AJ and Lizzy had declared that they were tired of eating broth and wanted cookies and milk. Hop Sing soon brought a plate heaped with cookies and sweets to the table by the hearth, and followed that with pitchers of milk, lemonade and coffee. The restoration of Adam's family seemed to restore many other things; humor, calm, and appetites among them. The plate was quickly emptied and the excited cook replaced it with another one just as full.

As they ate, Ben introduced John, explaining how the younger version of the man had been trapping this area when he, Adam, and Hoss had first arrived. "If it weren't for John, or Trapper John as the boys called him, I wouldn't have been as successful getting and preserving good pelts, and our cabin wouldn't have been finished in time for our first winter."

Hoss smiled sheepishly. "I sort of remember you, sir. Not so much what you looked like, but you watchin' out for me while Pa worked, and tellin' me a lot about everythin'."

A grin spread across the oldest brother's face. "I think John's influence on you was a lot deeper that you think, Hoss." He looked around at the others. "Hoss was learning to talk when John was with us, and my younger brother picked up John's patterns of speech. It suited him. And between John and Pa's views of nature, Hoss found his initial love and respect for the land and animals."

Hoss's cheeks turned pink. "I'm not sure what Adam says is true, but iffen it is, then I owe you a debt of thanks, John."

Adam adjusted his position to let AJ curl up on his lap. "Where did you find the children, John? They must have gotten much farther away than we imagined."

"Let me set this up a little to help you understand how it came to pass." He looked around the great room of the Ponderosa. "You sure done well, Ben. This house is a might bigger than the first shanty you built. It seems fate smiled kindly on both of us. I went to California when I left your family, and tried my hand at trappin' the far side of the Sierras before decidin' to look for gold." He grinned. "I found some…actually a lot of it, and settled down some to run a mining business. Even found a nice woman who'd have me once I started takin' a bath and shavin' so I looked less like a bear. We had a son."

"I'm happy for you," Ben offered sincerely.

"I'm alone again, but don't be lookin' sad for me. The boy went east for school. I could afford a fancy school by then. John Jr.'s a doctor in Boston now," he nodded toward Adam, "which I heard from the little ones, is where they live too. Mary died two years ago and my son and his wife said to come East and live with them. I'm headed there, but I decided to visit some of the places I remembered fondly from my earlier life, on the way." He looked back to Ben. "About a week back, I crossed the Sierras by that pass I used last time, hopin' to find your place. Things looked familiar, and I was walkin' along the edge of the woods across from the same place you was all gathered today, when I saw a group'a kids ride up to the lake. I was about to go ask if they knew who owned this land, but stopped when I saw they had pulled two blindfolded children off a horse and were tyin' 'em up again in that old boat. I wanted to help, but I stayed put to see what was goin' on first. I could hear a little girl screaming when them boys rode away, and once they was outta sight, I ran. The girl had tumbled into the water pretty fast. The boy had gotten his hands loose, but then slipped and smacked his head when he went over the side…before gettin' his feet undone. I waded out to pull them closer to shore where I got them untied and upright."

Adam nodded, knowingly. "Did you walk them along the edge of the lake for a ways instead of going onshore there?"

"Yep. But first I shooed the horse away and let a few things behind to confuse them boys when they came back, and then we moved up the shore far enough to hear them talking. When they went back to check on the kids, I grabbed the two of them and ran to the woods."

"Where did you take them after that?" Melinda asked. "No one found signs of them anywhere."

"I wanted to take them home, but they couldn't tell me where that was."

"Were they afraid of you?" Melinda asked as she bent down to kiss Lizzy's cheek as she slept on her lap, holding the new doll Evangeline had sent with Adam.

"Tweren't that exactly. They was scared of everythin' right them. The boy said his name was AJ and his sister was Lizzy, but it was like he couldn't remember his last name, and kept repeatin' he was AJ over and over. When I asked where they lived, he said, Boston. Lizzy was burnin' up and frozen cold at the same time…and mute, until she sort of passed out. There was the beginnin' of a rash on her cheeks and arms, and she remained doggoned sick until a day ago when the fever broke."

"Did AJ have amnesia?" Hoss asked.

"He had a good bump on his noggin, but I don't think it was that. He was scared to death, and getting the same sickness as his sister."

John nodded towards AJ who was playing with his model stage. "That boy is a fighter. Even when he was burnin' up with fever and sick as a poisoned dog, he kept worryin' about his sister." He laughed. "But back to the story. I waited at the wood's edge, tryin' to decide what to do, but then there were a gunshot and them boys scattered. I had no idea what had started the whole thing; who'd been shot or how bad they wanted these little ones back. All I knowed for sure was that these two needed help and protectin'."

"We searched a mile or more of those west hills, so you had to have gone some distance with them," Adam said thoughtfully.

"I kept movin' along the edge of the tree line where the ground's always roughed up from the wind and rain and wouldn't show nothin' unusual. Movin on' I found where two sets of those boys had turned onto a path goin' over the hill. I'd seen that the last boy had gone the opposite direction. I figured to be shed'a them all then, but kept movin' until I recognized the creek we'd used for trappin' years ago, and headed upwards. Doggone if I didn't find your old cabin. The door hinges were rusted shut, but the inside was still better'n a tent woulda been. I built a fire, cleaned the place up a little, and managed to make the bed comfortable using pine boughs and blankets. It tweren't a palace like this," He indicated the room they were in, "and I got to tendin' the little ones."

"I'm surprised you didn't come to find us instead." Joe's tone held a heavy hint of judgment. "It sounds like they could have used a doctor."

"Might have done just that, had I known who, 'us' was. I didn't know why those boys had been trying to hurt those children. They might'a been kidnappers or worse. And by the time we got to the cabin, AJ was fevered too, and still not rememberin'. I couldn't leave them alone, and I sure wasn't takin' 'em back into some horror. Besides, I done a lot of doctorin' in my life and know a lot about natural ways to help with fevers and rashes."

Ruth had taken a seat off to the side, but spoke up in defense of this newcomer. "Doctor Martin mentioned those other children who were very ill as well. He said there wasn't much he could do but let the fever run its course."

"I remember you left behind some salves and elixirs years ago, John," Ben added. "We used those to treat our ailments until they were gone. They all worked well."

John's face brightened into a big smile. "Part of the reason I'm goin' to Boston is that my son, the doctor, has realized how well those same elixirs and salves worked, and wants me to teach him how to make them. He fancies himself a scientist now, so he wants to study them to see why they work. But he thinks we can make a business of it." He chuckled. "Wants to call 'em, McIntyre's Medicines."

"I think some of those old remedies work the best in illnesses like that," Ruth snuck in. "I'd like to hear more about that later."

"I'm sorry," Joe offered. "I'm protective of those kids, and I wasn't around when Pa and my brothers knew you."

"No harm done, young man. The time it took them to get better was makin' me a might jittery too, figurin' someone was missin' them, but I'd thrown in for the full dollar, and I wasn't about to take them out too soon." John chuckled before his face took on a serious look. "What _I'd_ like ta know now is why them boys did it." He stared directly at Jamie, who'd sat on the stairs. "Ben introduced you as his son, so I have to wonder why you'd be out there tyin' the hands of your niece and nephew. That red, curly head'a hair kind'a sets you apart from others and I recognized you right off."

"I know it looked bad, but I can explain." Jamie said hastily, and gave a brief recap of the circumstances. "It makes me sick to even thing about it."

John nodded. "I believe you. AJ talked about 'Jamie' when his fever was worst. He kept repeating that they had to hide until Jamie found them, and mumbled about how he'd gotten the knot loose."

AJ sat up. "I did get it open, Jamie, just like you told me."

John smiled at AJ and then back at Jamie. "You should know that it was AJ getting' the rope loose and keeping Lizzy above water for an extra second or two that let me get to them in time."

Adam had AJ stand and then stood and stretched too. "I always knew something was missing as we searched for these two. All our theories made sense except for the fact that they weren't anywhere they should have been. We've been through a terrible week of worry while they were with you, John, but I have peace that they were in the best of hands. Thank you." He kissed his son's head and turned him around to see his face. "If you'd had to do it alone, son, how would you have gotten home from the lake.?"

AJ sniffed as he thought. "I'd have gone up and over the hill to avoid those boys. And then found the road northeast toward the house."

Adam looked at his father and allowed himself a moment of pride. "Well thought out, son. That's exactly what we thought you'd do." He looked again towards John. "There was true providence in you being there at the right time. It still makes me shaky to think what would have happened if you hadn't gotten to them when you did. We will always remember you with thanks."

 **Epilogue**

Ruth walked out of the Western Union office reading her telegram and bumped into Melinda. "Well," she said with a laugh, "I guess I shouldn't walk and read, but at least I have my answer. If your offer still stands, I'll go to Boston with you, instead of back to San Francisco. We'll finish the book, and I'll accept John's offer to help with McIntyre's Medicines."

Melinda pulled Ruth into a hug. "Are you sure?"

"This wire confirms that my plans to open that clinic are over. The zoning was denied in favor of the larger project, and the Kims will continue their work with the Chinese at the hospital."

"Then we'll finish planning out trip," Melinda said as she smiled broadly. "I like John's suggestion to call the products you two develop, Ruth's Remedies! He said he'd forego his detour to his roots in Wisconsin, and travel to Boston with us if your plans allowed you to go."

Paul Martin saw the two women and crossed the street to catch them. "It's good to see you looking so well, Melinda." He bit his lip and sucked in a hissing breath. "I still need to do your physical exam before I release you to travel. Why don't you come to the office now and we'll get it done."

"Is that really necessary? The incision is fine; I'm fine. I promise to see my doctor as soon we get back." She gave him her most reassuring smile. When he failed to be swayed, she added, "I don't know where Adam is. He won't know where we are, and he'll start to worry."

Paul's words were issued with some force. "I saw Adam and Hoss up the block. It was he who told me you're just about ready to head home, and I mentioned I needed to see you before that. He said they'll come to my office when they're finished." He bowed, and smiled. "Shall we go then?"

"Would you leave us now, Ruth. I need to speak privately with Melinda," Paul said as he helped his patient sit up. "Thank you for your help." He moved to open the door to the outer office.

"I'm pretty sure Adam and Hoss are out on the porch," Ruth noted. "I'll keep them company." She squeezed Melinda's hand and draped a blanket around her shoulders to cover the thin gown she'd donned.

"You're being so mysterious, Paul." Melinda eyed the doctor with concern once they were alone. "You're frightening me."

"I don't mean to. I noticed something during my original exam, and I needed to be certain of it before you left on a week-long train trip." Paul pulled a chair over; helped Melinda to it, and got another for himself. "Have you noticed some weight gain recently?"

Melinda's cheeks fired red. "I didn't think it was _that_ noticeable," she stammered. "I'll take it off when I get home. I wanted to cut back but Adam prohibited it until I recovered completely."

"I'm sorry," Paul chuckled. "That wasn't a judgment about how you look. I asked because I couldn't tell. And don't worry about taking it off any time soon."

Adam listened to Ruth's brief, unrevealing report and headed inside to pace Paul's office. He was about to storm the exam room when the door opened and Paul told him to go in.

He closed the door quietly behind him, and knelt in front of his wife, observing her flushed cheeks and sheepish smile. "What did Paul say?"

"He says I'm getting fat, and will continue to do so."

Adam reared back as his eyes flew open. "You told me you'd gained a few pounds, but why would Paul mention it?" He watched in horror as Melinda began to laugh and cry at the same time, and held her close. "Please tell me what's wrong."

Tears continued to wet her face as she chuckled. "There's a good reason I've been so emotional lately."

Adam's head moved side-to-side. "I agree you've been a little, um…." He let his observation about her changing moods evaporate, and asked, "Are you ill?" instead.

"It's a condition. Paul worries that I'm on the old side to be going through this, but he also says I'm as healthy as many 20-year olds he cares for in the same circumstances. The most disturbing thing to him is that I lost a lot of blood and was given ether. That could cause problems we won't know about until…."

His grip tightened around her. "Until what?"

"The baby arrives."

He shot to his feet, looking down at her, and then pulled her up into his arms. "A baby? You're going to have a baby?" He shook his head and then started to laugh. "I really should have known. You're moods were just as changeable when you carried AJ and Lizzy."

"I hate to admit it, but that's true."

"What made Paul think you were pregnant?"

"He noticed that my abdomen seemed, um, rounder than normal, on the day I arrived from San Francisco, but he didn't want to prod and poke just then. He confirmed it today, and admits he's nervous about a miscarriage. He's glad Ruth is traveling with us to Boston. He'll go through everything she should watch for and do if it happens." She wiped away the single tear that had escaped down Adam's cheek. "But if this little girl stayed put through everything we've been through in the last two weeks, she won't give up now."

"A baby," He breathed into her hair. "The other day I said I didn't think I could be happier, but I was wrong." He stepped back, holding her hands. "You had no idea?"

"I've noticed some nausea, but put it off to other things that seemed reasonable. Paul says it's also hard for me to put the signs together because I have no indications that anything is different. I've never been 'regular' so there is no absence of my monthly time to make me suspicious."

"That makes sense." He grinned widely. " _He'll_ have a great brother and sister, a wonderful home, and a very old father." He laughed as pulled her close and a soft moan slipped from his lips.

The last days before Adam and his family planned to leave were filled with celebrations and a few more surprises.

The first was Hoss's decision to go to Boston too so he and Ruth could get to know each other better. He'd privately told his father and brothers that he, planned to marry Ruth Halversen, and wasn't "lettin' her outa his sight until she said yes."

The second came after a knock on the door while the family was having breakfast. Adam left the table and greeted the woman standing outside. "May I help you?"

"My name's Marigold Starke. It's my sons and nephews that were with your children on the day…."

Adam saw her face crumble as she tried to control her emotions. "What brings you here, Mrs. Starke?"

"I just got back from Sacramento and wanted to talk to you before you left for Boston. I wasn't around during the search because I went after my brother once I knew what his boys had done."

"Would you come in?" he asked with a smile.

"I'd prefer to speak privately."

Adam noticed her wagon in the yard when he went outside, and that two males were sitting in the rear with their backs towards him. "Are those your boys?"

"Those are the two who started the trouble."

Adam's head snapped as though he'd been slapped. "Why did you bring them here?"

"I went to Sacramento to have a needed talk with my brother. Something went wrong when he lost his wife and he pretty much let those two fend for themselves. They haven't been to school, so they get flustered easily when there's anyone around who knows more than they do. They bully people and think by acting tough, others won't notice their shortcomings." She smiled sadly. "At least that's how I see it. Those two haven't had manners taught to them, and they don't know how to handle their feelings. It's put them on a road that will offer no redemption if it continues."

"What do you want from us, forgiveness?"

"If you're willing. But mostly I want them to face up to what they did. I'd like them to apologize to your children, Mr. Cartwright. I already took them to see Sheriff Coffee. He says he can arrest them for kidnapping and assault if you want that, but for now, I have custody of them. Dan and I got guardianship, and we're going to raise them now. I'll do lessons with them since they're too old for school, and they'll work their tails off for us so they stay out of trouble. But that's only if you're willing to allow that instead of them going to prison."

Adam walked over and leaned against the wagon to stare at the boys. "I've got one question that will make up my mind as to what to do with you. Why did you risk the lives of my children over some fish?"

Jeb pulled onto his knees to face his accuser, and spoke in a soft voice. "We were mad at everything and everyone." His brother nodded, and Jeb continued, "Everything at Aunt M's place was so different than what we'd ever knowed. Their kids were happy, and they were always getting' told how much they's cared about. And then there was us. Nobody never treated us as more'n a horse pile; something they needed to clean off their shoes. Yer kids were happy too, and smart as anythin', and it was like something inside me boiled over. Gerry got sucked in too, and I thought we'd feel a whole lot better if we made those kids feel as bad as we do all the time. But when we found that boat in the water, well like we told that big guy that came to Sacramento; we ain't never been more scared or sorrier for anything in our lives."

Adam shook his head. "My second question is; how have you changed because of what you did?"

Both boys shrugged. "I don't feel mad since Aunt M brought us back," Jeb confessed. "It ain't easy, but we ain't never felt wanted before."

Gerry looked away. "I don't never want to feel that way again, Mr. I still can't sleep for dreamin' about your little girl hollerin'. I don't want to be like that."

"Wait here. I'll speak to my wife and children. Our faith lets us forgive, but they might be having trouble forgetting what they went through just yet."

The family had waited at the table to find out what was going on, and stared open-mouthed, as Adam explained the situation. "I think the Starke's are going to do the best thing possible for those boys. They need discipline, but they need to feel that they're accountable to others too. A good family will do that."

Melinda joined her husband, pulling him aside. "I agree, but I don't know about Lizzy and AJ seeing them."

Adam remembered their first nights back when they'd pulled mattresses on the floor and kept the whole family together in one bedroom so AJ and Lizzy felt safe. Lizzy seemed to be moving on more easily, but the weight of his responsibility for his sister's ordeal was still crushing AJ. He'd told his parents that he'd pushed the situation too far, and caused more trouble instead of stopping it.

Both parents had reassured him of how brave he'd been, but he'd failed to accept that, and his haunted look lifted only when there was something else holding his attention.

Adam and Melinda decided to leave the decision of confronting the boys up to their children. Both decided to face their tormenters. Adam was filled with both pride and fear as he walked them outside.

Lizzy ran over to the boys who'd were standing next to the wagon, staring at their feet. "My daddy says you hurt me because you were hurting inside too. Is that true?"

Jeb looked at Gerry, and then knelt down to Lizzy's eye level. "I think so." His brother knelt too. "We're sorry for what we did, and grateful you didn't drown like we thought," Jeb said sincerely.

She looked both Jeb and Gerry in the eyes and then said, "Don't you ever hurt anyone else. It's wrong, no matter how bad you feel." With that she turned away and ran back to the porch where Melinda was waiting.

AJ had moved to the corral, and Jeb joined him there once Lizzy left. There was no preamble as he blurted, "I was mad, like your sister said, but I was mostly jealous of you."

AJ glanced over and asked, "Why?"

"You's a smart kid; you knowed how to throw me, and you never backed down until we ganged up on you. I ain't never met a kid like you before." He looked down at his feet. "I want you to know that. I also hated you for the way you stood up for your sister. Our aunt is the first person who ever fought for us. It feels good."

"Would you have gone ahead with tying us in that boat if I hadn't laughed at you not knowing that word?" AJ asked, and then held his breath, waiting for the answer.

Gerry had joined them. He looked down, and shuffled his feet nervously, before looking up at his brother and mumbling, "Yeah, probably. Pa knocked us around for not watching our sister close enough when we were getting' ready to come that mornin'. She stepped in some manure, and he said we was worthless, and shouldn't bother comin' back. We was frothin' like rabid squirrels on the way to that lake. You was right when you said we was lookin' for a fight. You and yer sister was there; you were too small to really fight back, and we let our mad go on you."

"I'm sorry," AJ said quietly.

"Why're you sorry?" the brothers asked in unison.

"That you got hurt first. That wasn't right either. It makes me wish I'd known more about you."

Adam had stayed close enough to hear AJ's conversation, but moved to Melinda's side as AJ walked Jeb and Gerry back to the wagon. He reached for his wife's hand, leaned over and whispered, "He'll be all right now."

The engine was waiting on the tracks to push the Cartwrights to the cutoff for the eastbound train. It seemed half the town had turned out to make the departure into a sendoff. Adam made sure everyone heading with them to Boston was on board before going back to say goodbye to his father.

"Pa," he began, and then sighed. "I said some things I'm sorry about."

Ben chuckled as he embraced his son. "You weren't as far off as you might think. I did get a little overzealous about my newest son, and forgot some other extremely important people. That will never happen again." He chuckled. "You know…I loved being a father to you three, and I missed those times when you were all young, and needed me. Jamie brought those feelings back."

"I'll always need you, Pa," Adam said softly as he tightened the embrace. "I'm glad you're fathering another generation. It's the best I could wish for you or Jamie."

Adam hopped onto the crowed Pullman platform as the train began to pull away. Ben hollered, "Get Hoss back here in one piece!" before saluting his middle child, and calling, "Good luck, son."

The townspeople left once the smoke cleared and the car was out of sight, while Joe, Jamie, and Ben lingered. The older man pulled his two sons close, and said, "Let's go home."

The End

1Adam was taken by a woman who'd decided to find a cute, intelligent child for her own, in my story, _In The Child's Best Interest._

2 Extradition between states in the U.S. didn't exist as we know it during this period of history. Criminals could move from state-to-state to avoid prosecution.

 _3_ From my story _, Hunting for Memories_

4 Paraphrased from excerpt of a letter from St. Thomas Aquinas to Sapida, a holy woman of the church, on the death of her brother.

5 John McIntyre is a character from my story, _Hunting For Memories_. He was trapper who found the Cartwrights shortly after they bought their first parcels of what would become the Ponderosa. He helped Ben build a lean-to where the house would eventually stand, and put a floor in the cabin they used in the high woods during the winter while Ben ran trap lines. They called him Trapper John, and his full-circle connection to the Cartwrights will come out in the next, final story of this series.


End file.
